You Need This In Your Life

You just do. There is no question about this. So do not question it. Simply embrace it. It will lift you out of the dreary doldrums of your humdrum life, simplistic rubes! I do not know when I became an '80s wrestling heel around here, insulting the audience casually, but it happened. It can't unhappen.

Well, maybe through the miracle power of this concoction. It is that great. So great that I am attempting to make it the biggest link in comic blog history. I mean, it's like that Machete trailer from Grindhouse with an ape! All other writers should stop trying to top that now. I don't just mean bloggers, or bloggers who are comic book writers. I mean all writers everywhere. Even non-fiction writers. I mean... seriously... it's just... this is bigger than my man crush on Sims. Or whatever self aggrandizement I get out of feeling like we're more or less the same guy.

Whatever. It's all irrelevant. This is bigger than everything. Who cares about DCU torture porn? There's a ape assassain comic coming soon! And Sims and some other guys did a trailer for it! In comics! Drop everything! Including your drawers! Well, maybe you should keep those on. Let's not lose our heads. Or underwear.

I usually throw a youtube link or a pro wrestling reference in a post beyond 20 words or so. I can't do that and stay with my original idea. But I must vamp this out to an absurd degree, or this can't be a huge post that's just a link to this fun thing Sims, Matthew Allen Smith, and Benjamin Birdie did. How can I pad this out anymore? Surely, if I meditate hard enough, Exterminape will break the fourth wall and tell me what to do!

Okay. He did. He said he appreciates the link, but I keep up with the schtick, he's gonna cap me. And then, to prove he wasn't messing around, he dropkicked my cat out a window and made him explode. To be fair, the cat deserved it. So, that'll wrap this up. You should probably click on the link now.

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