10 X-Men Who Would Actually Be Useless In A Fight

The dream of Professor Charles Xavier is peaceful co-existence between humans and mutants, but let’s face it, they pretty much get into a fight wherever they go. And learning to fight well together is an important part of being an X-Man. That’s the whole reason they have the Danger Room.

However, there have been some members of the team that really have no place on the battlefield. They may be trained by the deadliest fighters in the world in hand to hand or they may carry ridiculously large guns, but their actual mutant powers make them useless combatants purely from a battle standpoint.

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10 Cypher

Doug Ramsey should never have gotten mixed up with superheroes. His mutant ability is to read, speak and understand languages of all types, terrestrial, alien or computer. These are skills best left to academia, not a firefight.

Cypher was returned to life using the techno-organic virus. This modified him to allow him to “read” the body language of his opponents and anticipate their moves, similar to the Cassandra Cain Batgirl. Cypher can also ascertain the weak points of a building by looking at it and he can now speak the machine language “binary”. All useful skills, but not very helpful when you are facing a sentinel.

9 Stacy X

Stacy X has the power to control pheromones and affect the bodily sensations and functions of others through touch. These were no doubt helpful to Miranda Leevald when she worked as a prostitute.

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But in the middle of a pitched battle against foes in full body costumes, armor or against lifeless robots, the possibility of actual skin to skin touching is nearly impossible. Even her snake like skin doesn’t prove to be a particularly effective armor for her in battle. She can give someone a quick adrenaline boast or speed up their healing but her skills really are better used in the sheets then the trenches.

8 Doctor Nemesis

James Bradley has been both a crime fighter and a villain since the 1940s. All long before most of the X-Men were born. Looking solely at his powers, Nemesis is little more than the smartest guy in the room. His mutant power gives him a “Self-evolved intellect”, making him an intuitive scientific and technological genius. He has delayed his own lifespan and enhanced his immune system and his eyesight. He has made many advances in the sciences and created many inventions. He is definitely the man you want arming you for the battle but not necessarily in the middle of the battle.

7 Jubilee

Jubilation Lee was the typical California mall kid. And probably would have remained one, if members of the X-Men hadn’t gone shopping one day. Jubilee actually has a very powerful mutant talent, but it comes with a built-in problem. She can create pyrotechnic energy plasmoids from her hands of varied strength and intensity. They could be small enough to temporarily blind people or strong enough to smash concrete and metal. She can also put a precision burst in someone's brain to cause a stroke.

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The issue is Jubilee’s control has to be razor-sharp on the battlefield and battles rarely go precisely as planned. A burst to blind a group of opponents can easily blind the team as well. And destroying a wall or a building in the middle of a fight is just asking for collateral damage. That is a lot to ask from the very young Jubilee.

6 Cecilia Reyes

Cecilia Reyes has no business being in costume. Cecilia should be in a hospital where her very human gifts as a trauma surgeon can best be used. Cecilia can envelop herself in a force field. Concussive hits on the force field cause her physical pain. She can not defend against gas attacks and must be able to breathe to maintain it. Cecilia can push people with it or add spikes to it but the field is really little more than a weapon of offense, not defense. The closest to the battlefield Cecilia should be is the MASH unit.

5 Maggott

Maggott doesn’t have a normal digestive system. Instead, he has two slugs that he calls Eenie and Meanie that leave his body and can go and devour virtually any object at super speeds. They return to his body to increase his size, strength, and stamina to super human levels.

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There are several issues with his power. There is no set time period on how long Maggott will retain his enhanced powers. To energize him, the slugs have to be able to return to his body. If they are detained, or worse, killed Maggott is in major trouble. All this uncertainty makes him an unpredictable ally.

4 Sage

Sage works a lot better in the cloak room than the front line. Sage (aka Tessa) was one of the first mutants that Professor Xavier ever identified. Sage is essentially a mutant supercomputer. She has complete recall of every fact, situation or conversation that she has ever seen. She can complete several tasks simultaneously and can control certain autonomic body functions of her own. She can also “see” a person’s genetic code and can jump-start the mutant powers of others. This tends to have unexpected consequences, side effects and can definitely be disconcerting for the recipient. Sage is better support staff than warrior.

3 Dazzler

Alison Blaire probably should have never left the stage. Dazzler was originally a singer who mutant power to transmit sound into incredible light displays was always dismissed as special effects. Dazzler’s power to “dazzle” opponents with her light show offers the same problem as Jubilee on the battlefield.

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Unless the rest of the team is behind her, there is a significant chance she will blind everyone, leaving her own team at a disadvantage. Even with her fingertip laser, she can only hit one opponent at a time. Allison is much better suited to be on tour than on maneuvers.

2 Angel

Warren Worthington III has been an X-Man since the very beginning. His chief mutant power is natural flight thanks to his huge feathered wings. He can fly to great heights, see at high velocities and breath in very thin air. The strength of his wings could easily put a man through a wall. Warren is essentially a human-sized bird of prey.

The problem with Angel comes with his physiology. Warren’s body processes food incredibly effectively, therefore there is not an ounce of fat on his muscular but lean body. And like a bird, his bones are hollow. Given that it takes around 900 psi to break the average femur, Warren’s bones should snap like kindling.

1 Iceman

A battle is not won by the success of the individual but the success of the unit. And Iceman is a danger to any battlefield. Iceman’s power is to become a being of pure ice. Bobby is able to create ice slides, shields, and weapons and has the ability to create semi-sentient ice golems. Just think of how this affects a battlefield. Iceman leaves a hazard anywhere he goes. Melting ice slides and patches of ice would litter the area and a misstep by a teammate would immediately put them in a dangerous situation. No amount of Danger Room training can prepare for that.

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