WARNING: The following article contains spoilers for X-Men #2, by Jonathan Hickman, Leinil Francis Yu, Gerry Alanguilan, Sunny Gho, VC's Clayton Cowles and Tom Muller, now on sale.
X-Men comics are notoriously weird. The architect behind the current state of mutants in print, Jonathan Hickman, has continuously embraced this weirdness, but X-Men #2 goes the extra mile to force readers to ask themselves, "what the hell did I just read?"
From mutants hatching from pods to Apocalypse behaving himself, we've seen some outlandish developments across every release under the "Dawn of X" banner, but the relationship between the sentient mutant island Krakoa and their fellow living landmass Arakko gets a little hot and heavy in the strangest way possible.
Krakoa has been the home base for Xavier and his X-Men, which is quite a promotion from being the security system of the Jean Grey School for Higher Learning. However, more than a point of operation, Krakoa has been home to the titular mutant team, as well as any wayward homo-superior who is looking for a nation of their own. In fact, Krakoa is their entire ecosystem. It provides food, shelter and doorways to a myriad of locations across on the planet and out in space. As impressive as this all may sound, Krakoa, along with Arakko, were once part of a larger landmass called Okkara, which was attacked, causing it to bifurcate into two separate entities. Apocalypse and his First Horsemen were able to thwart the attack by isolating Arrako from their other half in the process, leaving Krakoa alone.
Nevertheless, like an awkward conjugal visit, Arakko made its way back to their other half and boy, were they happy to see them (so no, that wasn't a rhino-eating squid tree in its pocket). With Krakoa on the move toward Arakko, Cyclops and his kids (Cable and Prestige) take the most unorthodox family trip ever to explore the mysterious island before their home base collides with it. Shortly after stepping foot on Arakko, the Summers family is met with Eldritch horrors to the highest order that are ushered in by an alabaster figure speaking in an unknown language.
After a bone-headed misunderstanding involving a grenade and a terrible judgment call on Cable's behalf, Scott speaks to the figure, who refers to itself as The Summoner, and smooths things over. Arakko is lovelorn and only wishes to reconnect with the one it truly cares for: Krakoa. As it turns out, sentient islands need love, too, and once Krakoa arrives, the two islands become intertwined in a very suggestive manner, prompting the Summers Family to crack more than a joke or two about the whole ordeal.
With Arrako and Krakoa reunited, the mutant inhabitants of the latter are going to have to deal with some new neighbors. Of course, one resident has already made themselves quite friendly with The Summoner, but to what end remains to be seen.
Regardless, it's good to see people (or islands in this case) rekindle some kind of connection. It is a bit curious, however. Since they were both one landmass several millennia ago, is their reunion an external sexual act, or a masturbatory one? You know what? Nevermind. Forget we even said anything.