Note: The following articles contains adult content and language.
Saturday afternoon, “Clerks” director Kevin Smith hosted a lively forum, full of the expected profanity, fannish questions, and updates on his current, future, and never-to-be-seen projects. Smith revealed that he will be directing a slasher movie, but reiterated he is no longer associated with “Green Hornet” or “Fletch.” Also: congratulations to AJ and Katherine, now betrothed, somewhat against their wishes.
The panel opened with a fan wishing Smith a happy birthday, and asking what he had planned for next year’s 37th, referring to the famous exclamation from “Clerks.” Smith replied that he was not much of a birthday person, but suggested he could “have a big elephant, and we could all have elephant walk.”
Another attendee asked Smith if he had a lot of people pitching him movie ideas. Smith said, “No, I usually cut that down pretty quickly.” He explained that he cannot help strangers make their movies, and the experience is more fulfilling if the would-be filmmaker can do it on his own. Toward the end of the panel, one fan did hand Smith a copy of his short film, and received the advice to “do what I did – make ‘Clerks.'”
When prompted as to the possibility of more films featuring Jay and Silent Bob, Smith said he is done with the View Askew brand of movies. Amid shouts of “heard it before,” Smith clarified that he did not believe he would revisit the characters, but felt he might if he needed to make a movie to represent his 40s in the way that “Clerks” and “Clerks II” covered the filmmakers 20s and 30s. The same fan also asked if Smith would direct any television series, such as a Star Wars animated project, to which he replied “I couldn’t do the episode I want to do,” which elicited immediate laughter.
Asked why “some comic book movies suck so bad, but others are awesome,” Smith said that Hollywood cannot afford to make films catering only to the comic book crowd. “If everybody who reads comics went to see a movie on opening night … they’d close up shop.” Regarding “Superman Returns,” Smith said he was happy for Bryan Singer for getting his vision of the hero on screen, but would have liked to see the Man of Steel “punch something.” He suggested that “Superman II” open with “credits, then a little old lady crossing the street and -BOOM!- And they never explain why.” Smith then went on a lengthy exploration of how Lois would react to having Superman’s child, based on the presumed relationship in the second Christopher Reeves Superman movie. In that film, Superman lost his powers, which Smith suggests is when Superman could have impregnated Lois; later in the movie, his kiss of forgetfulness would erase this memory. So, Smith believes, Lois’s reaction to her son’s powers ought to have been, “Wait, did I fuck Superman?” He suggested Lois should “get in touch with the good folks at RAINN.”
Smith described the “tuck-back” scene of “Clerks II” as “…the perfect version of Jayson Mewes. We could hang out all day, and then fuck.” He also said that Mewes had been hiding his penis between his legs since before such a scene appeared in “Silence of the Lambs.”
A straightforward “what’s next” led to a game of rock-paper-scissors to determine if Smith would reveal his upcoming project. Although the fan lost the match, Smith said that he would be making a horror film. Also, he is “nowhere close” to completing “Daredevil: Target,” of which only one issue was released back in 2002. Smith said that if he returned to the project, there would likely be a “reboot” of issue 1, since the original features an image of the World Trade Center as rubble and the site no longer resembles the story art.
There was a question about Smith’s appearance on “Ebert and Roeper.” Smith said that the episode taped Friday morning, and will air next weekend. The movies covered are “World Trade Center,” “Half Nelson,” “Scoop,” and “Step Up,” but Smith said he cannot comment on the reviews until the episode is shown.
In the first of several extended interactions, one woman remarked that, in high school, classmates thought she was gay because she read comics. In the back-and-forth that followed, Smith gave the woman dating advice, and asked point blank if she had ever “fooled around with chicks.” She answered “no comment,” which got a large reaction from the crowd, but clarified that all she had done was “drunken kissing.” Smith replied, “Shit, I’ve done that with Mewes.”
Smith said there has been discussion about a direct-to-DVD Clerks animated movie, but no firm plans. Also, a second “Evening with Kevin Smith” DVD has been pushed from and August to a November release.
Asked about the inspiration for the “pussy troll” in “Clerks II,” Smith said the idea arose out of making fun of Jason Mewes for dating a woman for a month without sleeping with her. Smith also said that producer Harvey Weinstein suggested he “cut to the pussy troll” in the film, but Smith resisted the idea because it ran contrary to his conception of the joke. He said that, if he needed to cut the scene, he would have dressed Mewes up as a troll and “built a giant fuckin’ labia around him.” Smith then danced to illustrate what Mewes would have done in the scene.
After this, an eighteen-year old woman named Katherine approached the stage to hand Smith a drawing she had done of him. When she returned to her seat, Smith asked if she and her boyfriend “liked to fuck in front of other people.” This led to the second major dialogue of the panel, and ultimately resulted in the couple being brought on stage so the boyfriend, AJ, could propose. A fan not acquainted with the couple provided a Batman ring for the occasion. “There’s nothing more romantic than forcing people to get engaged,” Smith said.
Smith said he has “stepped away” from the “Green Hornet” movie because he realized he did not know how to do it, and because he would “lose the right to make fun of comic book movies.”
When asked his opinion of the unmasking of Spider-Man, Smith admitted that he hadn’t read comics in a year and asked for more details on the situation.
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