Boasting a roster of over 200 members across its many incarnations, the Secret Society of Super Villains includes the strongest big bads of the DC Universe. Unlike the Injustice League, the Society, as it is sometimes called, seems to have no minimum qualifications. When the heads of the Society are the greats like Darkseid, Vandal Savage, and Deathstroke, the bar is set quite high.
Even with these great leaders, the Society tends to go for quantity over quality with their recruiting. While these villains have a solid chance of villainy on their own, joining a team that has Black Adam and Bane does not suit them. Here are 10 members of the Secret Society of Super Villains that shouldn’t have made the cut.
10 Doctor Moon
Doctor Moon is a literal doctor-turned-villain because it was fun and being a brain surgeon is boring. That is the extent of a backstory he is given. Not to say a medic isn’t useful, or necessary after taking a pummeling from Superman, but is a medic a supervillain because he patches up the bad guys? The answer is no.
His redeeming qualities stem from his time as a surgeon. He has a wealth of experience with the human body. As a surgeon, he knows how to torture without killing. He also becomes an expert in metagene testing at one point. If he had that knowledge, then Batman should check out his medical school.
9 Funky Flashman
If charisma is a superpower, Funky Flashman is a great supervillain. It is not, and he isn’t. He is even widely believed to be a caricature of comic legend Stan Lee, a know charismatic. While charisma is an important trait to have in a career as a villain, there needs to be substance behind it. Luthor is charming and has a genius intellect. Funky Flashman, on the other hand, has some charm and a wig. As a part of Darkseid’s original Society, he should be a name that other villains aspire to, yet here he is as one of the worst members.
He’s not all bad, though, as he has given Mister Miracle a run for his money a time or two. Funky Flashman is an everyday villain. He has worked in project management and auto-sales, both fields that feature everyday villains in the real world. Everyone knows at least one Funky Flashman.
8 Captain Stingaree
A skilled swordsman with a pirate motif, Captain Stingaree is as basic of a villain as DC can publish. Never mind the fact that he is played off as a joke mentally ill character in his appearances, especially in Rebirth, he was never meant to be a good supervillain. He was introduced as one of a set of quadruplets with a vengeance for the other three, all of whom he suspected of being Batman. When he does join the Society, he is not even the best pirate supervillain.
His best claim to fame is the fact that he had a secret gay love affair with Mortimer Drake (Cavalier). Even that is tainted by the fact that they are both blackmailed and then killed off in another case of burying your (villainous) gays. Unlike Captain Stingaree, Cavalier managed to stay off this list because he is a noteworthy villain.
7 Angle Man
If a triangle wanted to become a superhero and took over a man’s body to do so, that would be a good character. Sadly, Angle Man is just a guy who wears triangles. The name Angle Man comes from his ability to work out the angles of his criminal opportunities including heists and capers. His history as a Wonder Woman adversary is interesting, becoming a main recurring villain for a short time.
When he joined the Society, he was upgraded from scheming Angle Man to the Angle Man that has a magical triangle called the Angler. While the Angler is a useful tool, Angle Man rarely uses it properly. In more recent events, Angle Man is said to be the son of Vandal Savage. This plot point is dropped as quickly as it was said, leaving Angle Man stewing in his own mediocracy.
6 Fadeaway Man
Fadeaway Man is the proud possessor of the Cloak of Cagliostro. With this cloak, he can teleport and look ridiculous. Even though he is a Batman and Hawkman villain, he doesn’t live up to the legacies he should be leaving. His main superpower is to run away. There are plenty of defensive villains that make defense a viable option but teleporting out of bad situations is not on par with the crew around him in the society.
All hope is not lost on Fadeaway Man. He enjoyed a brief one-issue stint as one of several antagonists in Scooby-Doo! Team-Up #17. He also begins to hoard, and not use, an arsenal of weaponry that he has hidden through his teleportation. When he combines the two parts, he could be worthy of a spot in the Society
On paper, and in pictures, Girder looks like the type of villain the Society should want. He is strong and durable since he is made of metal. The fact that he is metal is the problem. Superman’s Kryptonite is a piece of rock from a far off, destroyed planet. Girder’s is oxygen, that gas that is one of the most abundant resources on all Earths across the multiverse. He isn’t even that terrible as a villain if he has the right conditions, such as a helpful magnetism user.
Girder has a huge drawback as a team member in his predisposition to assault women. The reason he has his powers is that a group of guys threw him into molten metal because he attacked a female coworker. Luckily, Magenta, that magnetism user alluded to earlier, doesn’t take kindly to Girder and rips him in half. More often than not, Girder is left to be an immobile rusty, crusty heap of metal. The Society can just throw an old car and get the same effect.
4 Kite Man
Despite his recent turn as a competent villain, though that was constructed by The Riddler, Kite Man is a one flight pony. His one trick is being able to use kites. In all fairness, kites can be cool. They come in tons of different shapes and some people collect them as a hobby. Kite Man kicks it up a notch by using them instead of any other practical weapons, like guns or the kite’s new-age cousin, drones.
If the use of kites wasn’t bad enough, Kite Man is proven to be a smart guy. During The War of Jokes and Riddles storyline, he even puts mechanized pieces into his kites for Batman. At no point does he use his modicum of intelligence to his favor. It is much easier to get punched by Batman and yell his catchphrase: “Kite Man, hell yeah!”
3 The Crime Doctor
That is right! There are two villains in the Society whose powers are being doctors. The Crime Doctor is a bit fouler in his time with the Society than Doctor Moon was. While that should make him a less worse Society member, it doesn’t, due to one fact. He is written with weird cannons. In some appearances, he makes it a point that he doesn’t break his Hippocratic oath. Then in others, he gets real stabby with his scalpel.
His lack of continuity means his character is broken. He does make some appearances in Villains United where he has completely abandoned being a good person, but that doesn’t wipe history. He does have a solid backstory, having lost his medical license by helping his crime lord brother. Even that doesn’t stop him from being a bad villain and just terrible compared to the great villains of the Society.
ANOTHER doctor who broke bad. Apparently, if you have a doctorate, you qualify for a position with the Society, even in you aren’t that good of a villain. His special ability is that he is immune to blood diseases and toxins. Also, he has a mental illness, which in comic terms, means he has to be a supervillain. He eventually becomes a self-inflicted mute, cutting out his tongue and sewing his mouth shut.
His popularity among Flash fans is baffling since he doesn’t do much. He kills some people, loses his mind and then shuts himself up. If this is a quality character that the Secret Society of Super Villains strives for, it is no wonder they fail so often. His aesthetic is his only redeeming characteristic. All that black and leather makes him look the part of a good villain.
1 Humpty Dumpty
Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall. And then he put a bunch of things together. That’s the whole character, minus the wall. Another villain with a mental illness and a horrible life, Humpty is not a villain by standard terms. He isn’t aggressive for the sake of aggression, nor does he want to hurt others. It just happens around him. His name comes from the egg-like shape of his head and his need to put pieces back together.
In one Batman issue, Humpty acts as Santa in order to help some children at a shelter. When Batman and Robin discover him, they find him with a group of dead children. He asserts that he did not kill them, but since they died so close to Christmas, he wanted to give them one last present from Santa. Those are not the actions of a top tier member of a Society of Super Villains. Humpty Dumpty is an ill man who ends up being a pawn in everyone else’s game. All he wants to do is rebuild dolls and puppets for fun.