Woman allegedly spoke to Batman doll, used it to assault cop

In a scenario that even The Joker might find a bit weird, a Missouri woman allegedly attacked a police officer with a 3-foot Batman doll, to which she spoke. For the purposes of this story, let's call her ... The Ventriloquist.

As you might have guessed, meth and alcohol are believed to have been involved.

According to The Lebanon Daily Record, a police officer was dispatched Saturday night in response to a call about a car accident and a disturbance at a home. When he arrived, the officer reportedly found a Dodge Dakota crashed into an Acura, and the 46-year-old driver of the truck -- aka The Ventriloquist -- lying in a flower bed. Where she was holding and talking to the aforementioned Batman doll.

Here's the best line you'll read all day, anywhere: "As the officer approached, she told the doll to be quiet." There's no indication of whether the doll complied.

However, the situation turned from bad to worse when the officer approached the woman to help her up, only to smell "intoxicants" on her. When he informed her she was under arrest, The Ventriloquist allegedly struck him on an arm and in the ribs with Scarface the Puppet the Batman doll.

According to the police report, the incident began as an argument between the woman and the 43-year-old driver of the Acura. The man said he saw the woman drive into his car with her truck; when he confronted her, she allegedly took a hammer and broke out the back window of his car.

The woman, who allegedly admitted to smoking meth and drinking alcohol earlier that day, was admitted to the hospital for a mental evaluation. While the hammer was placed into evidence, there's no word as to what happened to the Batman doll.

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