What I bought - 2 September 2015

After a gloomy silence, he told me a story: "I was sitting in a taxi, and the driver said to me, oh, we have to thank the whites for many things. They brought roads, bridges, tall buildings, things we didn't know how to do. Before, we lived very poor lives. Well, I didn't argue with him. What's the point? That would be an argument without end. I mean, it is now dogma in all our schools that the African people lived in mystic harmony with nature, that they somehow intuitively understood the interdependence of ecological systems, without ever having to articulate them. As well articulate the air you breathe, when it is merely self-evident! Huh! I come from such a village. Perhaps some people can watch someone smearing dung on a floor and talk about the sophisticated reuse of materials, but I tell you, once they try concrete they never go back to dung. Live in natural harmony with the African wildlife, did they? Didn't kill all the game? They would have if they could. They didn't because they couldn't. Look what happens when you give them AK-47s! No more elephants!"

"What did you say to the cab driver?" I asked when he'd wound down.

"Oh, I didn't argue," the professor said. "I just asked him where he lived. He lived in a slum in Harare. I asked him if he preferred the village. He said he did. But he can't make any money there. So that what I told him. That's what the white man really brought to Africa. The idea of money. The rest is all frills." (Marq de Villiers and Sheila Hirtle, from Into Africa)

This Damned Band #2 (of 6) by Paul Cornell (writer), Michael Heisler (letterer), Lovern Kindzierski (colorist), Tony Parker (artist), Aaron Walker (associate editor), and Dave Marshall (editor). $3.99, 23 pgs, FC, Dark Horse.

The first issue of Cornell/Parker's satire of rock bands was a good start, as Cornell played on the silliness of bands "worshipping Satan" and revealed that Led Ze - um, sorry, Motherfather actually did worship Satan, although they weren't aware of it. Cornell gave himself an out at the end of issue #1 by having them ingest stranger-than-usual mushrooms, so conceivably they didn't actually meet Satan (or, as Kev-the-bad-speller believes, Santa) and were just hallucinating, because it's not clear that they even see the same thing. Cornell hedges his bets with the creepy and mysterious business manager, and there's obviously something weird going on with the drugs and the abducting of a groupie, but it's interesting how he covers all his bases. His idea to use the documentary film format, where the band is being recorded pretty much the entire time, is not a bad way to show things happening, either, although the access seems pretty extensive, and I wonder if the band would be so unguarded on film (in the first issue, they admit on camera that their entire "Satan-worshipping" schtick is bullshit). It's still clever, as the members of the band speak directly to the "audience" quite often, but it's also fairly clever that so far, we have no idea who's recording this. In issue #1, the person behind the camera spoke a few times, but we still don't know who it is. I have to believe that's significant. There's also the "found footage" at the end, when the groupie gets abducted, which is strange - who is recording, and why? Cornell is either layering this script quite deeply, or he's not thinking about it at all. Knowing Cornell, it's probably the former.

The less successful part of the issue is the creative divisions within the band. It's not that the writing is bad, and it's not even that creative differences within a band aren't the stuff of good fiction, but it does seem a bit too clichéd (I shouldn't have, but I kept thinking of the "Smell the Glove" controversy from This Is Spinal Tap when the album cover debate was going on) and even petty. Yes, rock bands seem like the pettiest groups of people on the planet, but that doesn't make it interesting. I know there has to be something else to the plot than whether the band is worshipping Satan and the fallout from that, but Cornell hasn't quite found it yet. He didn't need it in issue #1, because he was busy introducing the band. But he needs it going forward, and I hope the cover art argument is just a blip on the radar.

Parker does his usual fine job with the art, which is nice. His shift in styles to a manga vibe when the band takes the mushrooms is clever (considering they're in Japan when it happens) and weakens the "evil" of the demon they see, which is probably the point (he's still weird-looking, but not too evil-looking). Parker is a "realistic" artist, meaning that he doesn't exaggerate facial expressions too much and everyone looks like an actual human being, but he does something clever with the figure work, as the band members seem much more fluid than we might expect, which is actually a good representation of the slinkiness and even sexual ambiguity of many male rock stars. As much as Robert Plant liked (likes?) to bang female groupies, there's something sexually feminine about him, too, and Parker is very good at getting that vibe for not only the Plant analog (Justin) in this book, but the rest of the band as well. His facial expressions are pretty great, too, and he draws a good visual divide between the serious people in the band (the head groupie and Kev's wife, and Robert the drummer) and the more hedonistic characters (the rest of the band, the other groupies). He also has done a good job with the two obviously "evil" characters - in issue #1, the band's manager was the prominent one, and in this issue, it's Alex's drug dealer. Both of them wear conservative clothes to contrast to the "artistic" sensibilities of the band, but they are both physically larger and stockier than the other characters (except Kev's wife, who's a larger lady but wears hippie clothing, so it's not as noticeable), and it creates a looming presence over the band and their female hangers-on. It's a clever trick.

After two issues, this is an interesting comic. The hook is clever, and the fact that Cornell isn't pinning all his hopes on it works, too. I hope that the non-Satan stuff is good enough, but it's still intriguing. The comic has a good sense of humor, but there's plenty of weird drama, too. That's always fun!

Rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ½ ☆ ☆

One totally Airwolf panel:

Dark Corridor #2 ("The Red Circle Part Two: Carter's Misfortune"/"7 Deadly Daughters Part Two: Nicole Breccia") by Rich Tommaso (writer/artist). $3.99, 24 pgs, FC, Image.

I can't imagine this comic is selling anywhere near ... let's say, 5000 per issue (that's a reasonable threshold, right?), and it's a shame, because after two issues, it has the potential to be a truly great crime comic. I don't even know if the initial numbers are in, but, I mean, it's an Image book by a relatively unknown creator (Tommaso has been making comics for 20 years, but he's still relatively unknown), in an art look that I've seen described as "New Yorker-style," which is pretty spot on and seems an odd fit for a crime comic. Tommaso's vibrant coloring, modernist design work, and "alternative" faces seem out of place with the gloomy, noir vibe that many crime comics go for. His main character in one of this issue's stories dresses like a cowboy, for crying out loud. In the middle of a city. What self-respecting crime comic puts its main character in a cowboy hat and bolo tie?!?!?!? Tommaso's superb sense of "Red Circle," the oddly-named city in which this comic takes place, is apparent throughout, as it's a place with seedy strip joints, strangely retro used car lots, and swanky restaurants, while the people in the city look "real" - as "real" as Tommaso draws, which is with a good dose of cartoonishness - they are all different body shapes, they wear different clothing, they even have different faces despite all looking "Tommasonian." Tommaso draws fights awkwardly, as they probably occur in real life (I haven't been in or witnessed a fight in many, many years), and his characters have that desperate look that everyone living on the fringes of society seems to have. Even as Carter lives the high life, Tommaso draws him as if he's desperate to squeeze everything out of his time at the top of the wheel, as if he knows it won't be long before it turns back down (as this is fiction, we know it's going to happen, but he doesn't). Tommaso packs great details into the book - the pee on the floor below the urinal in Carter's jail cell, the logo on the vodka bottle, the tramp stamp on the stripper - all of these little things make the book a very nice immersive experience. Tommaso's art isn't for everyone, I expect, and it's a strange fit for this kind of comic, but that also makes it perfect for this kind of comic, because everything feels a bit off-kilter.

Tommaso is telling a sprawling story, too, if the first two issues are any indication. He has done two stories per issue so far, and they're all connected, but in fascinating ways. In issue #1, we saw the aftermath of what happens in issue #2. We also see what Carter does with the cut of what he got in issue #1, and we also see how the events in one story in issue #1 connect to Carter. Tommaso isn't doing anything too complicated, but he's doing a good job with non-linear storytelling, which is almost always interesting, at the very least. He's giving us a sense of how things work in Red Circle, throwing a bunch of characters into the mix, and while we don't really know them all that well yet, the way they interact with each other is nicely done. We shall see how Tommaso makes them better characters, but two issues in, there's just a lot to like about where the book is going (the all-female kill squad, for instance, is intriguing!).

This is a cool comic. It seems like it would be more interesting as single issues (although if you wait for trades I certainly don't blame you), mainly because of the way Tommaso tells the story - you get two stories per issue, and it seems like he's going to be mixing it up quite a bit, so it's fun to discover where we're going this month!

Rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆

One totally Airwolf panel:

8House #3 ("Kiem Part One") by Brandon Graham (writer) and Xurxo G. Penalta (writer/artist). $2.99, 30 pgs, FC, Image.

Graham's idea for 8House is, apparently, to tell short stories set in the same universe, so that there's always a possibility of the stories linking up, but featuring wildly divergent kinds of characters and stories in that universe. That's certainly not to everyone's taste (I recall one commenter hating the first issue), but I'm a sucker, and while Brandon Graham on social media seems a bit insufferable (with the caveat that I've never met Brandon Graham in person; maybe he's a swell dude) and Brandon Graham the writer can be up-and-down, Brandon Graham the idea man seems to be on point, and especially if he's going to be co-writing these comics, which might rein in his more egregious tendencies. "Arclight" was a bit unusual in that the first issue was enervating but the second issue picked up a bit (why would you want your debut issue to be so staid?), and "Kiem" begins with the title character walking around and doing very little before getting "injected" into another dimension (maybe?) and fighting glowing giant shrimps that ride around on the backs of mindless monsters before being given a mission by a mysterious woman who pulls a Houdini on our heroine. In other words, what the fuck? At least Graham and Penalta get to the action a bit quicker than Graham and Churchland did in "Arclight," which is nice because Graham seems perfectly willing to leave things very vague in these stories, and it would be nice if while we were in them, shit happened. "Arclight" was about a more refined civilization, while "Kiem" takes place in a desert, where everyone lives on the razor's edge. Even Kiem's "mission" to ... wherever the hell she and her cohorts go is something that looks gritty and tough, as if they're marines storming a beach with no back-up. It's still bizarre, but it seems a bit more plot-driven than "Arclight," and while I love character work in fiction, it always helps to have a plot to crank up your series with, because you have to grab people's attention!

I've never seen Penalta's art before, but it's stunning. Penalta is apparently a fan of Moebius, and his art shows that, as the clean lines and astonishing precision feel very Moebius-like. His drawings of Eurthum, the city in which Kiem lives, are amazing, as the place is both futuristic and ancient-looking, as if it sprung up from the rock around it with all sorts of wires already connecting everything (and what's up with the ape over the door at the end?). The other dimension is eerily beautiful, but the monsters and their shrimp-riders intrude on that quiet beauty quickly, and Penalta draws the battle between them and Kiem's people wonderfully, with amazing details highlighting the horrific violence. Back in the "real world," we get a strange mystical experience that changes Kiem, and Penalta makes it just different enough from the previous pages that it looks like it could be taking place in yet another world (even though it's not). His coloring, while a bit too reliant on the orange/blue complement (in the desert, that's hard to avoid), is amazing as well - it's stark when it needs to be, and the glowing effect that a lot of colorists use these days never overwhelms the artwork. The colors make the art more haunting, which is a good combination.

I still have no idea what's going on with 8House. It's Graham trying something different, though, and as long as the art is as strong as it has been, I'm on board, even though I do hope the stories coalesce somehow!

Rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆

One totally Airwolf panel:

Casanova: Acedia #4 ("Akim Athabadze"/"The Metanauts: Kawaii Five-O, Part 4") by Gabriel Bá (artist), Michael Chabon (writer, "Metanauts"), Matt Fraction (writer, "Akim"), Dustin K. Harbin (letterer), Fábio Moon (artist, sketchbook pages), Cris Peter (colorist, "Akim"), and Lauren Sankovitch (editor). $3.99, 27 pgs, FC, Image.

Between the main story and the back-up story, there's a one-page cartoon in which Bá kind of rubs it in Moon's face that he was able to draw both the main story and the back-up story in this issue, and Moon frets that he's going to be fired. It's funny, but I do wonder why Moon couldn't draw this issue. It's already very late, so what's the deal?

Anyway, once again Casanova comes along to show that Fraction really does know what he's doing, after the somewhat dull final issue of Hawkeye. Now that Casanova is the only Fraction comic I'm reading, I won't have to worry about doubting him in between rare doses of this fantastic comic. Yay!

The brilliance of Casanova is many-faceted, but one thing Fraction does really well is sketch out characters very quickly and make the reader (at least, this reader) totally invested in them. Many writers try to do this, and some succeed, but on this comic, at least, Fraction seems to do it constantly and almost effortlessly. He's assisted by the artists, of course, and they figure out ways to make every emotional beat work so well. This has been in evidence since the amazing short scenes with Suki Boutique way back in the first arc, but we see it here, as well, with Akim, whose life story we get as he joins E.M.P.I.R.E. and makes a fateful decision. When his father is killed, Bá doesn't show it, just Akim's reaction to it, and we get a wonderful juxtaposition of Akim watching the tragedy and a time jump to him as a hardened young urchin surviving on the streets. When Akim grows up, the disappointment on his face as he rants about the purpose of E.M.P.I.R.E. is tragic in a different way, as he can find no path out. There's another brilliant time jump from Benday poking at his lamb to make sure it's done to Benday ripping the tooth out of a woman's mouth as they torture her. Fraction has always been quite good at shifting quickly from humor to horror, and because this is a flashback, he can jump quickly without disturbing the narrative. Akim's understated solution to his problem is also nicely done, as Fraction doesn't overdo the drama and Bá does an amazing job with Akim's body language. In some of his comics, Fraction goes for over-the-top, and in some, he goes for inert when it comes to emotional beats. In Casanova, he always finds a happy medium. It's astonishing.

I don't know what you can say about Bá's artwork - both he and Moon bring such precision, detail, and cleverness to the pages that I could write about each one and find new things about them all the time. Just the brilliant way he frames Akim's failed attempts to use his gun or the way Akim makes his decision at the end are amazing, and those are just two examples. Fraction works with a lot of good artists (so the art isn't the reason some of his books are lousy), but with Bá and Moon, he seems to have a very good relationship that allows them to create this tremendous work of art.

I don't know when this comic will be back, but Fraction has 12 issues (presumably, if he keeps to the 4-issue structure of each arc) left of the series, and I really hope they come out ... let's say by 2020. That would be nice, wouldn't it?

Rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ½ ☆

One totally Airwolf panel:

The Dying and the Dead #3 by Ryan Bodenheim (artist), Michael Garland (colorist), Jonathan Hickman (writer), and Rus Wooton (letterer). $3.50, 24 pgs, FC, Image.

Hickman apologizes for the delay of this issue in the back of the book, which is nice, but as I noted last week, I wonder if people really care all that much. I mean, sure, for comics that will be published until the sun goes cold, it's nice to have a monthly dose, but for boutique books, isn't it just more important that the creators finish it and that the entire story is worth it? Does it really matter how late this book (or Casanova, for that matter) is? I understand the idea that if a book doesn't come out regularly, people will forget about it. But maybe I've become spoiled by the way I buy comics. I pre-order almost everything from Previews - I don't pre-order DC and Marvel single issues, but considering that I'm pretty much done with single issues from Marvel (and almost from DC), that's not too big a deal. I write down my order on paper, give it to my retailer, keep a copy, write down the shipping dates (when available), and cross out the books when they arrive. So I know which books are crazy late, because I haven't crossed them off yet. I know which books I've gotten, because I've crossed them off. This, you might think, is a bit OCD, but I get a lot of comics, and it helps me keep track of them. I have every order form I've ever filled out for Previews - my first one is for March 2005 - in a three-ring binder. The big problem with this for most people is, I guess, that they don't order from Previews because their retailers don't give it to them for free. This remains inexplicable to me - retailers pay $3 for Previews, so it's a cost, but I would imagine that for serious comic book readers, they typically make far more than $3 per month from their purchases, so why not give it out for free? You can find Previews on-line, of course, so if you give your retailer an order for comics, why do you care when the books come out? If you pre-ordered issue #3 of The Dying and the Dead in (yipe!) January, shouldn't you be confident that it will show up eventually? Most weeks (he forgets sometimes), my retailer emails me the invoice of comics he's getting, and on Tuesday, I go to the comic book store and pull my own comics, so I see them before Wednesday, but if you pre-ordered a comic, doesn't your retailer pull it for you? So the fact that this issue is 6 months late shouldn't be too big of a hassle, because you ordered it, so you'll get it! Now, a lot of people don't pre-order books, and instead go to the comic book store when they can (if they even go anymore; digital comics 4EVAH!!!!!). That becomes a problem, because if your retailer doesn't order a lot of a specific comic (like this one; my retailer ordered 13 copies, and I don't know how many of those go to subscribers), you might miss it because it will sell out before you get there. I get that, but that doesn't have anything to do with giving up on a book because it's late - that's just bad luck and timing. Do you guys give up on comics because they're late, even if you like the comic? That's what a lot of people talk about - that comics that aren't on a regular schedule piss people off and make them drop the book - but that seems petty. I get being annoyed with creators for being late, but if the comic is good, who cares?

Anyway, Hickman indulges in his love of alternative history, as Mussolini seems to still be in power in 1944 even though he was ousted in 1943, Hirohito just shows up in Wewelsburg, Germany, and we learn all about the super-people in this comic. It's beautiful and interesting, and while it's an infodump, Hickman's infodumps tend to be better written than most, and Bodenheim draws the hell out of it. Let's start the countdown for issue #4!

Rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ½ ☆ ☆ ☆

One totally Airwolf panel:

Jem and the Holograms #6 ("Showtime Part Six") by Sophie Campbell (artist/story), Tom B. Long (letterer), M. Victoria Robado (colorist), Kelly Thompson (writer/story), and John Barber (editor). $3.99, 20 pgs, FC, IDW.

The final issue of the arc is just slightly anti-climactic - I don't want to spoil the big band battle resolution, but Thompson doesn't resolve things as much as kick things up a notch. Which I have no problem with, by the way - this is an ongoing, after all - and the point of the story was never really the battle of the bands. It's just another interesting way that Thompson tends to confound our expectations, which is why she's an interesting writer. Part of the reason why it's anti-climactic even though I don't mind it is because the other plot points don't really get a lot of play, either - Kimber finally admits that she's been seeing Stormer, but there's not a lot of drama in that corner, as they simply stop talking to each other. Again, it's obviously part of a long-term story, but it felt a bit weird, as they seemed to have such a nice relationship and Kimber doesn't seem to be the kind of person who would let it go so easily. The judges of the contest seem to be awfully blasé about the accusations that the Misfits - or at least someone connected to the Misfits - tried to kill Jem, even though they try to say it's because there's no proof. That might be true, but they don't seem to care too much about it. And Rio is still bugging Jerrica about Jem, which is another plot point that will probably run for a while, but again, their conversation seems awfully muted. I'm still not sure if "Jem" is against the rules of the contest, and it would be nice if Jerrica's secret came out, because it's not the most interesting part of the comic. In a world of auto-tuning and lip-syncing, would Jem's existence really be that controversial? Maybe, but I wish it would come out so Thompson can deal with it. We shall see.

There are very cool parts of the book, of course. I've loved the way Thompson writes the characters, so when the Holograms talk about Kimber keeping secrets, the dialogue is very nice and the emotions are spot-on, including the way Kimber breaks the tension. Jerrica's solution to their problem with the battle of the bands is clever, and it provides plenty of tension for the next arc and the rest of the book going forward. Instead of focusing on the rivalry between the two groups, Thompson shows that for the Holograms, it really is about the music. Jerrica's solution does stick it to the Misfits a little bit, but that's not really the point. Of course, the Misfits don't see it that way.

Campbell is taking a break for a while, and while I like Emma Vieceli, Campbell's art for this arc sets such a high bar I don't know who will surpass it. From the terrific panel below (just look at it!!!) to the way the characters react to the news about the band battle, from Stormer's disappointment that Kimber doesn't want to talk to her to Kimber's vexation when the other Holograms question her about it, from the unbelievably cool guitar-shaped motorcycles the Misfits ride to the amazing concert the Holograms put on at the end of the issue, this is a stunning book, as Campbell and Robado continue to dazzle on every page. Campbell's design work might seem a bit outrageous (Pizzazz's earrings are a highlight) until you realize that actual human beings are walking around in public dressed like this:

I mean, the characters in this book are practically Amish compared to that. But really, I can't praise Campbell and Robado enough. Campbell was really the perfect artist for this relaunch, and Robado did amazing work on colors. It appears that Vieceli is coloring her own work in issues #7-9, so let's see if they're as good as these!

The Jem trade should be out soon. You really should pick it up. It's keen.

Rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆

One totally Airwolf panel:

Cluster #7 by Ed Brisson (writer/letterer), Damian Couceiro (artist), Cassie Kelly (colorist), Cameron Chittick (assistant editor), and Eric Harburn (editor). $3.99, 22 pgs, FC, Boom! Studios.

Cluster has always been a slightly-above-average adventure story, with just enough clever stuff to make it above average, and Couceiro's art (which I hadn't seen in a few years) raising it even a bit more. It's ending with issue #8, and because Boom! is - what's the word? - insane, we'll get two trades out of it (Boom! has just solicited a hardcover trade of the first 8 issues of Lumberjanes - a complete story, remember - as some fancy "deluxe" edition), and it's probably going to be an entertaining story, depending on how Brisson ends the series. Grace continues to be the tonic to all the seriousness, which the story needs, and Brisson is setting up a nice cataclysmic confrontation, one which doesn't seem like it will fit in one issue. I didn't know if Brisson originally planned this for 4 issues and got a reprieve (it seems like he did plan for longer than that, but who knows) and now I don't know if he planned it for 8 issues or if the book got cancelled and he's just trying to wrap it up, but we'll see, won't we? It's all coming to a head!

Rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ½ ☆ ☆ ☆

One totally Airwolf panel:

Aliens: Salvation by Dave Gibbons (writer), Matt Hollingsworth (colorist), Mike Mignola (penciler), Kevin Nowlan (inker), Clem Robins (letterer), Ian Tucker (assistant editor), and Daniel Chabon (editor). $10.99, 47 pgs, FC, Dark Horse.

Mike Mignola art! Woooooo!!!!

Nailbiter volume 3: Blood in the Water by Adam Guzowski (colorist), Mike Henderson (artist), John J. Hill (letterer), Adam Markiewicz (artist), Joshua Williamson (writer), and Rob Levin (editor). $14.99, 101 pgs, FC, Image.

I liked the first two volumes, so why wouldn't I keep buying it?

Pandemonium by Marie-Paule Alluard (colorist), Christophe Bec (writer), Quinn and Katia Donoghue (translators), Bruno Pradelle (colorist), Stefano Raffaele (artist), and Alex Donoghue (U.S. editor). $19.95, 156 pgs, FC, Humanoids.

I've been a fan of Raffaele for a few years, even though I hardly ever see his stuff, and this sounds like a pretty neat horror comic, so I figure it would be a good buy!

Money spent this week: $63.09 YTD: $4757.41

Let's check out when these books were supposed to come out as opposed to when they did come out! This is fun!

This Damned Band: 2 September. It's on time!Dark Corridor: 2 September. Also on time!8House: 19 August. Two weeks late. So sad!Casanova: 29 April. Hey, it's only 4 months and a week late!The Dying and the Dead: 18 March. Yeesh. A little over 5 months late.Jem and the Holograms: 26 August. One week late.Cluster: 2 September. On time!Aliens: Salvation: 2 September. On time, which isn't surprising, as it's over 20 years old.Nailbiter: 2 September. This is on time, which kind of surprised me. Well done!Pandemonium: 26 August. One week late.

Hickman wrote in the back of the issue that they're resoliciting TDatD from now on, so that should take care of that (we hope). Casanova is over for now, so that should take care of that. Other than that, it was a good week in keeping books on time!


In interesting comics posts, we have this post about editors and whether they're outdated (the answer appears to be "no"). It's mainly about Image, but the writer does wander into Marvel and DC territory too. Interestingly enough for my purposes, only once is "proofreading" mentioned as the task of an editor, and that's when Jim Zub mentions he can't afford one so others have to pick up the slack when it comes to that aspect of editing. Obviously, I think comics need a lot better proofreading, as some spelling mistakes are completely unacceptable.

Andrew Wheeler takes down the notion of "make your own if you don't like it" advice. Obviously, as a terrible reviewer, I agree with this, as that kind of criticism of criticism is lazy and stupid. I also agree that it would be nice to "make my own," but many impediments get in the way. I can't draw very well. Does anyone want to draw my comic for $25 a page, as that's about all I can afford? Yeah, I didn't think so.

Caleb takes a look at a hilarious few moments from Teen Titans Go! This is very cool.

In pop culture news, Pink has started telling younger pop stars to stay off her lawn. Come on, Pink, chill the fuck out.

Kim Davis is in jail, but the very funny Twitter account of the "woman who sits next to her" lives on. The best part is that many people, it seems, think this is real.

It's already Saturday, so I won't do much else. These things just take up so much time. Plus, the Penn State game is on in the background, and I'm so furious right now at how sucky the Penn State offense is after they were incredibly sucky last year that I just can't even deal with it. Jeebus, Nittany Lions, what the fuck? So let's take a look at some Totally Random Lyrics!

"There's danger on the edge of town Ride the King's highway, baby Weird scenes inside the gold mine Ride the highway west, baby

Ride the snake, ride the snake To the lake, the ancient lake, baby The snake is long, seven miles Ride the snake ... he's old, and his skin is cold"

Yeah, that's easy. But it's how I feel. Shit.

Have a nice weekend, everyone. The highs in the Basin this week were under 100 degrees for a few days, so this horrible summer (worst August ever!) might be slowly coming to an end!!!!

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