"A teenaged private eye. Trust me -- I know how dumb that sounds. But it's not like I found a decoder ring at the bottom of a cereal box and thought, 'That sounds like fun.' I wish. That would have been adorable."

If you've never seen the Veronica Mars TV show or just want a refresher on some of the major plot points before the big movie arrives later this month both digitally and in theaters, the first two minutes of the film provide a recap of some pertinent "What you need to know" facts. Plus a lot of sarcasm from the Kristen Bell voice over.

Released on the official Veronica Mars YouTube channel, you can watch the opening below in all its glory.

The Kickstarter-funded Veronica Mars stars Kristen Bell, Jason Dohring, Max Greenfield, Percy Daggs III, Jerry O’Connell, Francis Capra, Tina Majorino, Enrico Colantoni and James Franco. The film opens March 14.