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Villains in a half-shell: It’s a Teenage Mutant Ninja crimewave

by  in Comic News Comment
Villains in a half-shell: It’s a Teenage Mutant Ninja crimewave

Life hasn’t been easy for Leonardo, Michelangelo, Raphael and Donatello, four red-eared sliders mutated by a strange ooze, raised in the sewer by a rat, and forced to fight off evil ninjas while surviving on a diet of pizza. Given their unfortunate circumstances, you might forgive these Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for an occasional brush with the law. But twice in one month — and on opposite sides of the globe?

The first shocking incident came Sept. 7, when the Daily Mail reports somebody wearing the signature blue bandanna of Leonardo stole a BMW motorcycle from a dealership in Doncaster, a suburb of Melbourne, Australia.

The theft required very little Ninjitsu, and no katanas. Instead, security footage shows the tracksuit-wearing Leo drove to the dealership at about 1:30 a.m. in a stolen van. He then broke into the building, and took the motorcycle. Before leaving, however, he rammed the gates with the van — because, hey, cowabunga! — and set fire to the driver’s compartment.

The action then moves to Miami International Airport, where U.S. Customs and Border Protection agents last week seized $2,000 in counterfeit U.S. currency hidden between Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle coloring sheets that had been glued together. The phony bills, which were in a package shipped from Trinidad and Tobago, were handed over to the U.S. Secret Service.

No evidence suggests the two incidents are related, mind you, but there’s to say that Master Splinter isn’t operating an international crime network rivaling anything Shredder could come up with. I mean, how else could the Turtles afford the upkeep on the Party Wagon? Not to mention all of that pizza.

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