In this feature, I examine comic book fights that were particularly notable in the wrong side winning (or at least that the fight wasn't won the "right" way). This really isn't a big deal, of course, as it doesn't really matter if the "wrong" person won a fight. But it's fun to talk about!

If you want to suggest a fight for future inclusion in this feature, drop me a line at bcronin@comicbookresources.com. Don't suggest a fight in the comments!

Today, based on a suggestion from a whole bunch of readers, we look at the time that the Punisher made Spider-Man, Daredevil and Wolverine look like a confederacy of dunces...

As always, the first page spotlights their power levels and the second page examines the fight itself.

And as always, the first question we need to ask is...

How did these people do when they fought Spider-Man?

Right from the get go, the Punisher has done pretty well against Spider-Man, going back all the way to his debut in Amazing Spider-Man #129 (by Gerry Conway, Ross Andru and Frank Giacoia), but while he does well, it is still pretty clear he's not on Spidey's power level...







Both Wolverine and Daredevil have had very respectable one-on-one showings against Spidey.

In Amazing Spider-Man #287 (by Christopher Priest, Erik Larsen and Art Nichols), they tussle and while Spider-Man is clearly the winner of the fight, DD holds his own...









(Daredevil did even BETTER in another fight, but, well, that one was subject of a Wrong Side column in and of itself)

In Spider-Man Vs. Wolverine #1, ALSO by Christopher Priest (with art by M.D. Bright and Al Williamson), Wolverine takes a beating from Spider-Man but holds on very well over all, even though Spidey is clearly out of his league, power-wise...











Okay, on to the fight(s)!

The very last story arc in Garth Ennis' initial run on the Punisher was called "Confederacy of Dunces." Drawn by his old Hitman collaborator, John McCrea (like this storyline, Hitman was not particularly friendly towards non-Superman superheroes). In it, Daredevil, Spider-Man and Wolverine decide to team-up to take down the Punisher, in the wake of the Punisher embarrassing each one of them at some point in Ennis' run (he used a steamroller on Wolverine, he used Spider-Man as a human shield and he messed with Daredevil's head with a gun and chains in a story that was retold in Season 2 of the Daredevil Netflix series). Ennis' outrageous humor on Punisher was initially a breath of fresh air, but even Ennis, I imagine, would acknowledge that it got a bit stale by the end of the run. He then pivoted beautifully with the dark and striking Punisher MAX series, which was excellent.

ANYhow, Ennis is famous for his distaste for superheroes. He thinks they're silly. He would prefer to write crime stories, war stories, horror stories, adventure stories, thrillers, science fiction, pretty much anything BUT superhero stories. Coupled with his dark sense of humor, you have to take these fights with a huge grain of salt. It's pretty much INTENDED to be a joke, ya know? However, I do think that Ennis tried to make the fights "realistic" and I don't think they necessarily work in that regard.

So the three heroes come together to take down the Punisher, but without killing him. They track him down...









Once they are inside the restaurant, Ennis plays it as "Spider-Man, Daredevil and Wolverine are afraid of attacking Punisher with innocent people around," which is fair enough. What's less fair enough is that they actually let him go into the restaurant. "I want a cheeseburger." (In unison) "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?" Daredevil's yelling "get him!" and no one does anything, like they're Keystone Cops. "What can we do, Daredevil? He's slowly walking towards a restaurant!"

Okay, so the Punisher gets away by attacking Wolverine in the restaurant, causing him to go nuts and forcing Spider-Man and Daredevil to stop him, giving Punisher time to escape. Again, I don't have a problem with that. Yes, they're still probably a BIT too stupid. "We can't fight him in a restaurant! It's not like I have super-strength and super-fast reflexes that can knock him out! Nope, if I fight him, innocents WILL die." But whatever, it's at least reasonable enough. The Punisher even acknowledges that they each could normally take him apart in seconds. But he also mentions the efficacy of his "burger plan," as if it made sense that saying, "I want a burger" would make the heroes freeze in their tracks.

After he escapes, while he's killing some bad guys, he comes across a mysterious hostage. This is definitely a bit of over-the-top good luck, but at least Ennis set it up well enough.



Somehow, the heroes had to talk it out with each other to figure out that the Punisher making Wolverine go feral was to take them out of action (Spider-Man and Wolverine are super thick-headed in this story. Daredevil, who Ennis can clearly sort of kind of stand, likely due to Frank Miller's work, comes off much better).





Then the Punisher tricks them to attack a rooftop like morons...





and then Spider-Man attacks a room filled with landmines. His Spider-Sense doesn't go off, but he presumes it isn't working for some reason, because, you know, Spider-Man is a moron in this story.





Daredevil manages to start kicking Punisher's ass, but Punisher cleverly enough throws them both out of a window, knowing that Daredevil will try to save them both, and Punisher uses that to wrench DD's shoulders out of their sockets. That's a clever approach.

Then Daredevil has to remind Spider-Man that his Spider-Sense isn't going off, because, you know, Spider-Man is a moron in this story.





So they recover and come after him one last time, but this time, he breaks out the mysterious stranger he found earlier...Bruce Banner! He turns him into the Hulk, and that ends the fight...



We learn that the Punisher has cleverly been feeding Banner explosives, which he triggers after the Hulk has beaten up Daredevil and Spider-Man (and punched Wolverine clean to Boston), forcing the Hulk to turn back to Banner, at which point the Punisher leaves, telling Daredevil not to do this again. And Daredevil's basically, like, "Yeah, okay."

Honestly, it's still a fun story. And the explosives bit? High-larious. So I still LIKE the story, but the heroes act way too stupid, which is the only way that the Punisher gets this to the Hulk part of the story..

That's it for this week! Feel free to make suggestions for fights you think were "wrongly" decided to bcronin@comicbookresources.com