Despite being a fairly dark and gritty fantasy show, The Witcher isn't afraid to include rampant weirdness and humor. Much of the humor is lifted from the strange and often darkly comedic Andrzej Sapkowski novels that serve as The Witcher's source material.
While many characters within The Witcher try to act normal and dignified, they are often dragged into strangeness against their will. All of them are willing to mock the absurdity of the situations they find themselves in. As such, The Witcher, contrary to expectations, contains a lot of quotes that are weird in context and ones that turn heads when out of context.
10 "I Want You To Burst!" - Geralt Of Rivia
The episode Bottled Appetites sees Geralt unknowingly granted three wishes by a Djinn, which causes havoc when he has a chance encounter with Yennefer of Vengerberg. After an ambiguous first wish, Geralt realizes the situation when he accidentally uses his second one.
Being beaten to death by a prison guard, Geralt is asked for his last words and retorts that he wants the guard to burst. An unusually specific threat for the usually-laconic Witcher, it is awkwardly phrased so it can be interpreted as a wish. It comes off slightly contrived.
9 "You Have The Most Incredible Neck" - Jaskier
While all of The Witcher's characters get involved with the comedy, few are as sheerly comedic as Jaskier. Jaskier is a prominent piece of comic relief who spends much of his time snarking at others or getting into unfortunate and comedic scrapes.
One of his prominent aspects is his promiscuity, as he's shown openly flirting with a great many women. Despite his reasonable success rate - as evidenced by the number of husbands who want him dead - Jaskier has little direct skill at flirting. At one point, he tries to warm a woman's heart by comparing her neck to that of a goose.
8 "Pavetta, Are You...?" - Calanthe
One of the most significant events in the entire The Witcher franchise comes when Geralt attends the betrothal ceremony of Pavetta of Cintra, which sees him inadvertently claim the unborn Ciri through the Law of Surprise. After Geralt saves Duny's life, he attempts to defer any reward by claiming the Law of Surprise, expecting to not want whatever Duny can give.
At that moment, Pavetta vomits from apparent morning sickness. Despite having been at a rich feast that saw a fair share of violence and Pavetta unleashing powerful magical forces, Calanthe quickly and correctly guesses that Pavetta is pregnant with Duny's child. No other reason was even entertained. The timing and Calanthe's quick realization make the scene slightly odd, despite its importance.
7 "Doesn't Rhyme. All Good Predictions Rhyme" - Geralt Of Rivia
A major part of Geralt's character, especially in the first season, is his blunt disdain for destiny and the pomp and ceremony of magic. These two things come together when, in the very first episode, Stregobor seeks to recruit him against Renfri by mentioning an apocalyptic prophecy involving her.
Having no real regard for Stregobor, Geralt is unmoved. To refuse to afford Stregobor any majesty, he picks the most minor part of the prophecy's flaws to undercut it, rather than any of the real, significant problems.
6 "You Usually Just Let Strangers Rub Chamomile Onto Your Lovely Bottom?" - Jaskier
Despite being close friends, there is often tension between Geralt and Jaskier due to the latter's extroverted and open affection, and the former's reserved and solitary nature. Even while looking out for Jaskier and enjoying his company, Geralt spends much of the first season refusing to admit that they are friends.
The two get into an argument of this nature in Of Banquets, B**tards And Burials. When Geralt insists that they're not friends, Jaskier says the above quote, to which Geralt has no counter-argument. How that situation may have come about is a question many fans have wondered since.
5 "Magic Doesn't Work On Me. Silver Does, Though" - Renfri
The Witcher's first episode was good enough to earn the series a sizable following and it established several things about the characters, setting, and tone well. However, some took issue with the episode's plotting, feeling that the conflict between Renfri and Stregobor wasn't adequately explained and that some parts were rushed.
In a throwaway line during the final confrontation, Renfri shuts down Geralt's attempts to use a Sign on her with the above quote. The line is significant to people who understand the world but rushed and largely meaningless to those who were new to the franchise. As such, it seems like something that either should have been expanded on or simply not mentioned.
4 "You...Need A Nap!" - Jaskier
Although he is less capable than many other characters in The Witcher, the area Jaskier can hold his own in is conversation. While not much of a fighter and untalented in magic, he is witty and charismatic. He often turns that wit against his friends in arguments.
Despite being shown to be able to match characters like Geralt and Yennefer word-for-word, Jaskier's wit fails him on one occasion. After Geralt describes his singing as "like ordering a pie and finding it has no filling," Jaskier is so shocked by the insult that the only stuttering retort he can find is that the sleep-deprived Geralt needs a nap.
3 "It Took Me To The Fourth Verse To Understand There Were Different Timelines" - Guard
Despite being somewhat self-aware and not afraid to have fun with its writing, The Witcher keeps the meta-humor relatively restrained. In one instance, however, The Witcher indulges when a guard offers Jaskier his criticism of the bard's latest song.
It quickly transpires that his complaints are all complaints that fans lodged against The Witcher's first season, with the most notable being mentions of multiple timelines. The three-timeline storytelling technique is one of the most divisive parts of the first season. The Witcher having a character insult it comes across as an unexpected burst of meta-humor.
2 "Except For The One About The Rock Troll. Overly Friendly" - Geralt Of Rivia
Geralt has had a lengthy career as a monster hunter even before The Witcher begins, which provides fodder for a great many stories. However, one mentioned off-handedly during a conversation with Ciri about nightmares stands out.
Mentioning that he doesn't sleep often so he can keep the nightmares at bay, Geralt says the quote above, admitting that his lack of sleep doesn't always stave off a nightmare. The implications of the sentence, alongside Geralt's haunted expression, raise several questions that are unlikely to ever be answered.
1 "Your Big Old Tool Almost Broke My Toe" - Ciri
Ciri spent most of the first season fleeing for her life and rubbing shoulders with miserable refugees. As such, she doesn't get much in the way of light-hearted conversations to show off her wit. In the second season and in better spirits, she gets a chance to prove that she is plenty witty - especially after spending time with Witchers.
When she arrives at the Temple of Melitele, Ciri is shown around by a historian-in-training called Jarre. In an awkward bit of small talk, Jarre mentions that, although there are tools for sorcerers, his own 'tool' (knowledge) is bigger and more powerful. Ciri, having been around crude Witchers for months, is aware of the innuendo that he misses. She serves him a double entendre when he almost crushes her foot with a book.