Everyone is excited for the next Star Wars movie but we’re here to tell you that it’s not going to be all fun and games. Sure, there will be lightsabers galore and Luke will finally (hopefully?) have an actual, on-screen line, but there’s going to be plenty of darkness in this film. If you’ve watched the trailer, that might not come as any huge surprise — it sure does seem to be a bit darker than the hope and fun and return in The Force Awakens. Of course, that might be a bit of an understatement.
See, if you think about it, there’s a solid chance that this movie is going to be the single darkest Star Wars movie ever made — for some in-movie reasons, and unfortunately a couple of out of universe reasons as well. Either way, The Last Jedi is going to be one of the biggest movies of the year and we’re all incredibly excited for it… even though we know that it will be one of the bleakest, darkest, and most messed-up things we’ve ever seen in our lives. Hey, but on the plus side, there will be lightsabers. That’s… that’s something, right?
15. FOREBODING TITLE
The Last Jedi doesn’t exactly put a cheery image in your head. At best, it means that there’s only some Jedi left — at worst, it means that the Jedi are going to die out in this one. It’s a title that seems basically synonymous with “The Dark Side is winning and we’re all going to die.” With a title that dark — one that seems somehow even darker than Revenge of the Sith and The Empire Strikes Back — the movie is going to have to work overtime to match it. Plus, you know, The Force Awakens was awesome, but it was much darker than almost any other Star Wars flick that came before it. So get ready to have your darkest ”Star Wars” fears realized (outside of Jar Jar coming back).
There has never been a movie villain like Snoke. He looks like a corpse that can walk and talk, but he also has magical powers and is the leader of what seems to be Space Nazis with a planetary system destroyer. Simply put, he’d make the Emperor wet his pants. But what we saw of him in The Force Awakens, while fearsome, wasn’t actually him. That was a hologram. In The Last Jedi we’re going to see Snoke for the first time, in the disgusting, rotting flesh.
Who knows what his deal really is? And what’s scarier than the unknown? (Okay, a rotting, magic space Hitler, but aside from that.) With Snoke coming to the foreground you can bet that this movie will be darker and more menacing than any of the others that have come before it. He’s basically Evil Yoda, and who could beat Evil Yoda? Nobody, that’s who!
13. DARK SIDE WINNING
It might be a bit hard to see given the fact that the movie goes from Han Death to Cool Saber Fight to Hey Look It’s Luke, but the ending of The Force Awakens is actually incredibly dark. See, we’re told that The Resistance is fighting against The First Order, a huge military group dedicated to taking over the galaxy. All that stands in their way is the New Republic… which promptly gets destroyed by TFO early in the film.
So, what’s standing in their way now? What’s to stop them from seizing power and becoming like the Empire again, only with an even creepier figurehead? There’s Luke… except he doesn’t seem too helpful. Han is dead. Rey is training. What’s going to stand in their way? For the first time since the prequels, the Dark Side is winning.
12. POE BOY
This might seem like an odd random guess, but trust us, it’s really not at all. See, Poe has already escaped death twice. He was supposed to die when he and Finn crash landed on Not-Tatooine at the beginning of Not A New Hope. After that, he was supposed to die sometime during the dogfight above the Not-Deathstar. After escaping death twice, what are the odds that the third time won’t be the charm… for death?
At the end of The Empire Strikes Back, Han goes in carbonite, but that’s overplayed and as mentioned, The First Order seems a bit worse than The Empire. So no carbonite for him. Maybe a nice, relaxing lava bath though. Ah, just like grandpapa used to have.
11. HOLIDAY FINN
Finn is one of the happiest, coolest, and best characters of The Force Awakens. He resembles Luke most in spirit — the innocent, borderline naive one who is basically bumbling along through adventures, just trying to do his best (and almost always failing). At the end of The Force Awakens, Kylo throws him into a tree and he goes into a coma, which — judging by the trailers — is still continuing in The Last Jedi.
Based on the fact that Finn was the prime mover of the first movie, and the fact that he was the biggest source of humor and fun, then the fact that he’s stuck in a coma bodes ill for our happiness when it comes to The Last Jedi. Unless, of course, we’re ready to deal with an incredibly dark, revenge-filled Jedi movie. (We are.)
10. STING REY
This might seem a bit out of nowhere, but search your feelings — you know it to be true. Anakin wasn’t supposed to be trained because he was too old and too filled with anger, despair, dread, fear and hatred when he was, like, six. But Rey? She’s lived alone her entire life. The only emotions we really see her display in the first movie are bad ones — joyous anger when she first uses the blaster to attack the Stormtroopers, beautiful rage when she scars Kylo’s face and stands triumphant over him, fear of what Luke’s saber holds for her, and despair at her long lost parents.
Remember what all those things add up to? That’s right, a Sith. Add to that the fact that Luke also seems in a dark place, it doesn’t look like her training will be bright and cheerful. But even if Rey somehow sticks to the Light Side (which, we’d bet she won’t), then there’s still a much darker presence.
9. UH OH KYLO
Kylo Ren was a mini-pseudo-sorta-kinda Vader. He was to Vader what Green Day is to punk rock — nothing but a small, sad, pale imitation that everyone laughed at for being super emo. Listen: he spends most of that movie losing people, having hissy-fits, and breaking equipment. He doesn’t even muster up a good neck snapping… like c’mon, Ky-bro!
But now, he’s full dark side. One of the reasons he’s so whiny in The Force Awakens is because he’s conflicted; but now, with his dad dead, he’s ready to rock and roll, and party hard. He’s been beaten by Rey and almost definitely won’t be giving her any second chances, and with Space Wizard of Death training him, Kylo Ren might finally actually live up to his cool, cool name.
8. BIGGEST TWIST IN STAR WARS HISTORY
Take this one with perhaps a giant grain of salt — a salt cube even — but if the director and producers are spitting truth in this little tease, there’s a chance that this movie will indeed reveal the biggest twist in all of Star Wars history. Bigger than Darth being Luke’s father. Bigger than Anakin having no father (except for Palpatine’s weird force magic fertilization). Bigger than anything else that happened — bigger even that after all these years we were finally getting sequels. Bigger than midochlorians!!
What could be bigger than all of those? Something to do with Kylo Ren’s scar, right? We don’t know, but we’re pretty sure it’s not going to be anything happy. Face it, if it was a good twist, it wouldn’t be called a twist, it’d be called a pleasant surprise. So get ready to have your heart ripped out of your body and then for — surprise — your heart to get stabbed a bunch more! Ah, Star Wars.
7. SECOND STAR WARS IS ALWAYS DARKEST
This one is just a fact. While some might argue that Revenge of the Sith is the darkest of the prequels, it still ends with Luke landing happily with his family, and us safe with the knowledge that one day he will rise up and defeat the Empire with the help of his father. Also, any movie that has Darth Vader dramatically screaming, “NOOOOOOO!” about his fridged wife can’t be too dark.
No, it’s Attack of the Clones and The Empire Strikes Back that earn the darkest title. Attack of the Clones ended with the worst lightsaber fight in history and with it spent, so too did our hope that a CGI Yoda could be cool, and for leading into the end of the Republic and the Death of the Jedi. Empire is super dark because, well, for all of the reasons. Have you seen it? If the sequels hold true to that tradition, we’ll be looking forward to some dark days for our heroes, which (let’s face it) is always good for business!
6. THE DEATH OF THE JEDI
No we’re not talking about the previously mentioned foreshadowing of the title. We’re talking about the last generation of Jedi. We’re talking about Luke’s students, the ones that Kylo Ren killed. Based on the trailer, there’s going to be an extended flashback showing us exactly what happened when Kylo led his Knights of Ren to the New Jedi Temple and slaughtered all of those within.
It’s going to be like the slaughter of the younglings in Revenge of the Sith, except hopefully actually good and with a lot more lead-up and pathos… and acted a lot better. We might also finally find out who and indeed what the Knights of Ren are; of course, based on their previous work, it’ll most likely also be incredibly messed up. Goodie!
5. RIAN JOHNSON HAS NEVER NOT MADE A DARK MOVIE
In case you missed it, the director of The Last Jedi is Rian Johnson. If you don’t recognize the name, he’s the man who made Looper, the movie in which limbs fall off a person as he screams in terror. he also made Brick, about a teenage girl dying because of a drug deal. His movies are always incredibly great, incredibly detailed and, oh, maybe needless to mention, but his movies are always very, very dark.
You might think that when he comes aboard the Star Wars franchise, he won’t bring that darkness… but au contraire! When directors come on to franchise movies, of course they work to fit the tone; however, The Force Awakens is still without a doubt, a JJ Abrams movie, and The Last Jedi will be a Rian Johnson movie with all the amazing, beautiful bleakness that implies. Keep tissues handy, you’ll need them.
4. THE JEDI MUST END
If you’ve seen the trailer — or, heck, just been online recently — then you’ve heard the words that Luke Skywalker uttered, changing our view of him and the Star Wars universe forever: “The Jedi must end.” There’s a solid chance that after this movie there will be no Jedi left. All the ones we’ve met are dead and gone, save Luke Skywalker, but who knows if he’s even a Jedi anymore (more on that in a bit)?
What will Rey — and other Force users — become now? With the last remainder of the Jedi line disavowing it, it looks like the Jedi are truly over. With that said, the dark side isn’t. The dark side is still strong. Without the Jedi, who will stand against them?
3. LEA’S LAST DANCE
Carrie Fisher is gone; tragically, she drowned in moonlight, strangled by her own bra. This is one of the only not-fun reasons this movie is going to be so, so dark. Most of the other reasons are things that are cool — like Han Solo in carbonite or Luke losing his hand. But this one is just actually, truly dark. Every single time we see General Leia onscreen, we’ll know it’s one of the last times.
Sure, she’ll be back using already-filmed scenes for the next movie, but this is the last movie she actually worked on, was on set for, and appeared in. Her shadow will hang over the whole movie, casting a pall over it, that will accentuate the already bleakness of the film. Knowing that Carrie Fisher has passed will make the experience of watching The Last Jedi a bleak one indeed.
2. HAN SO-LONG
Han Solo was the swashbuckler who got Luke off his miserable home planet, saved his hide from Vader, knew Leia loved him, shot first, and piloted the Millennium Falcon like a boss Oh, and did you hear? He did the Kessel Run in twelve parsecs. Well, that guy is dead and gone, killed on a bridge by his own son.
At the end of The Force Awakens, all we saw in mourning really was Leia and Rey sharing a very familial hug, but in The Last Jedi, his death will hang over them all. After all, we’re going to see exactly how poorly Luke takes it when he learns the pirate with whom he saved a princess has fallen. No matter what is done, his absence will be felt; his death will cast a long, dark shadow.
1. CRUEL HAND LUKE
Luke Skywalker. The last hope for the rebellion. The last hope for the Resistance. The Last Jedi? There is a solid chance that he might not be one, not anymore. What if Luke, in his old age and depression, has turned to the Dark Side? You heard what he said about the Jedi needing to end, what if he’s gone a step further than mere apathy?
What if he’s going to train Rey not to become a Jedi but to become a Sith? Or worse, what if he hides it from Rey and she has to fight one of the only father figures she’s ever had. And what happens to the galaxy after that? If Luke was the Last Jedi but is now a Sith, what hope is there left for the galaxy?
Do you think The Last Jedi will be the darkest tale in the new trilogy? Let us know why in the comments!
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