WHAT IS THE BUY PILE?

Every week Hannibal Tabu (winner of the 2012 Top Cow Talent Hunt/blogger/novelist/poet/jackass on Twitter/head honcho of Komplicated) grabs a whole lotta comics. These periodicals are quickly sorted (how) into two piles -- the "buy" pile (a small pile most weeks, comprised of planned purchases) and the "read" pile (often huge, often including comics that are really crappy but have some value to stay abreast of). Thursday afternoons you'll be able to get his thoughts (and they're just the opinions of one guy, so calm down, and here's some common definitions used in the column) about all of that ... which goes something like this ...

THE BUY PILE FOR SEPTEMBER 13, 2017

Star Wars #36 (Marvel Comics)

Jump from the Read Pile. If you ever saw an episode of The Clone Wars or Rebels focusing on astromech droids, you could almost always switch it off and move on, knowing not only would it have zero impact on the overall story but would normally be on the limp side as well. This issue seeks to overturn that for once and for all, a done-in-one issue featuring R2-D2 on a rescue mission that borders on epic. Using every tool at his disposal (and some which weren't), the original trilogy's smartest character chases down a star destroyer where his "counterpart" C-3PO is funny and engaging as it captures the madcap energy of Han, Luke, Leia and Chewie running through Death Star hallways. This Jason Aaron script is fantastic, and the sterling visuals from Salvador Larocca, Edgar Delgado and Clayton Cowles deliver on every page.

Transformers Lost Light #9 (IDW Publishing)

<i>Transformers Lost Light</i> #9
Bots before THOTs in Transformers Lost Light #9.

If you're not already reading this series, just stop here. There is very little to help new readers understand much of what's happening or who most of these characters are. If you're already well versed in this quirky corner of the toybox, then you're virtually bathing in some of the finest science fiction available. Would you give up your best friend for your one true love? That question lies at the center of this issue as a very eccentric and self-aware group of giant robots try to do a little business and fail at almost all of it in the most fascinating possible way. Writer James Roberts is unapologetically creating mythos out of thin air with another character driven script that (if you know who these people are, especially that last page reveal) is gripping. The artwork from Priscilla Tramontano, Joana LaFuente and Tom B. Long brings intimate facial acting, great detail and clear storytelling. Not for the neophyte, but nifty nonetheless.

Unbeatable Squirrel Girl #24 (Marvel Comics)

<i>Unbeatable Squirrel Girl</i> #24
The cover of Unbeatable Squirrel Girl #24 lies, Kraven is not in this issue.

Ultron is a dinosaur now. There's really nothing else you need to know, but there's more: He's a sassy, amnesiac, homicidal dinosaur. If you're not already rushing to buy this book, spirit knows what's wrong with you. If you know anything about coding, there is a joke in the border of one page that is a solid forty five seconds worth of laughing by itself. As if all that wasn't enough, despite this book being predominated by one long fight scene, so many other plot and character driven things happen. This script by Ryan North is diaphanous, and the sequential storytelling from Erica Henderson, Rico Renzi and Travis Lanham were superbly enjoyable. Alas, poor Antonio the Doombot ... wow. Great comic book entertainment here.

Time And Vine #3 (IDW Publishing)

<i>Time And Vine</i> #3
It's Time And Vine #3, not time after vine. Sorry, Cyndi.

Jump from the Read Pile. Time travel via a magical winery. From that intriguing premise, the two leads explore personal moments in the past, expanding their characters for each other and the reader and solving a family mystery along the way. Writer/artist Thomas Zahler excels in presenting these intensely personal stories, using effective shorthands to make the elements of these stories connect. These are always a pleasant surprise and this is no exception.

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WHAT'S THE PROGNOSIS?

So many pleasant surprises this week!

THIS WEEK'S READ PILE

Honorable Mentions: Stuff worth noting, even if it's not good enough to buy

Mister Miracle #2 is ambitious and weird. Like Omega Men before it, there is clearly an overarching plan in place, but somehow it doesn't connect. It came close ("I'm ... I'm too tall"), in spots, ("Is he?") but they only tangentially connected to the lead and the plot for this issue. A grandiose reach, but the grasp couldn't quite hold it together. Close, but missed by a hair.

Mech Cadet Yu #2 had the charm of Iron Giant wrapped around the threat of Pacific Rim. The characters are mostly cookie cutter stereotypes but the art is fun and the energy is cute. Not a bad book, but playing it way too safe on its characters.

Although there were moments of amusement in Star Wars Doctor Aphra #12 (spoiler: they mostly involve the galaxy's best droid, Triple-Zero), it took its time getting to a point, often treading water from what it did last issue ... and the issue before. Horrible people should move more expeditiously, deliberation does not favor them. Not bad, but still reaching for greatness just beyond its grasp.

Genius Cartel #2 is an improvement as its protagonist developed a direction, even lacking the clarity and thoroughness that made her such a dominating presence in the original series. Great artwork, good ideas, but the execution lacks urgency and the supporting characters are barely NPCs for all their lack of development.

In Defenders #5, there is a deeply hilarious moment involving the name "Gary" -- it's the second one, not the first one -- and some okay moments from the key antagonist (including taunting Frank Castle, which was smarter than it sounded) but this was a little too slow and a little too self-aware to get where it needed to be.

No, just ... no ... These comics? Not so much ...

Gibberish. Dark Nights Metal #2 is, and this is being kind, incomprehensible gibberish. Everything has led to this point, this "story" attests, through time travel and happenstance, like trying to retcon on the fly. Some evil transtemportal god wants Batman to be a doorway into this reality ... well, it's honestly hard to figure out why. Add to the herky-jerky script unclear and needlessly stylized visuals and this book is like a bus full of orphans driving full speed off a cliff into a lake full of acid. It's amazing how bad this is.

As bad as Dark Nights Metal was, Secret Empire Omega #1 manages to be worse. By simultaneously acknowledging criticism (that Captain America is now given the same regard as Chris Brown, from this point on seen with a hint of caution and distaste) while doubling down on the fascist rhetoric of "Stevil," (bet: the new Red Skull, mark it down) leaving things not only unresolved but structurally less interesting than they were before. Also? Save the "red" and "blue" coloring shift (which some will see as a partisan dig but was really just dull melodrama), next to nothing actually happened. At least for all is impracticality, the previous train wreck had enough going on to baffle. This ... this is not looking at our world through a mirror, it's just smearing vaseline on the window.

Action Comics #987 is a storytelling mistake, culminating on its last page, on a level that races towards "Nazi Captain America" levels. The limitations of Superman were most glaringly exposed in Superman: Peace on Earth and this issue treads those familiar grounds, again putting "third world" innocents in danger to motivate the hero. The only good part of this issue is a metaphorical slap in the face to Steve Lombard, but even that's a passing moment. This issue is bad.

SO, HOW BAD WAS IT?

We have to stop with these crossovers, sheesh.

WINNERS AND LOSERS

The margin was thin, because WOW were there some bad books this week, but this week is a winner ... barely.

THE BUSINESS

The writer of this column writes two weekly web superhero comics: Menthu: The Anger of Angels and Project Wildfire: Street Justice -- free every week. Can't beat "free."

The writer of this column isn't just a jerk who spews his opinions -- he writes stuff too. A lot. Like what? You can get Irrational Numbers: Addition (a supernatural historical fiction saga with vampires), Project Wildfire: Enter Project Torrent (a collected superhero web comic), The Crown: Ascension and Faraway, five bucks a piece, or spend a few more dollars and get New Money #1 from Canon Comics, the rambunctious tale of four multimillionaires running wild in Los Angeles, a story in Watson and Holmes Volume 2 co-plotted by 2 Guns creator Steven Grant, two books from Stranger Comics -- Waso: Will To Power and the sequel Waso: Gathering Wind (the tale of a young man who had leadership thrust upon him after a tragedy), or Fathom Sourcebook #1, Soulfire Sourcebook #1, Executive Assistant Iris Sourcebook #1 and Aspen Universe Sourcebook, the official guides to those Aspen Comics franchises. Love these reviews? It'd be great if you picked up a copy. Hate these reviews? Find out what this guy thinks is so freakin' great. There's free sample chapters too, and all proceeds to towards the care and maintenance of his kids ... oh, and to buy comic books, of course. There’s also a bunch of great stuff -- fantasy, superhero stuff, magical realism and more -- available from this writer on Amazon. What are you waiting for? Go buy a freakin' book already!

Got a comic you think should be reviewed in The Buy Pile? If we get a PDF of a fairly normal length comic (i.e. "less than 64 pages") by no later than 24 hours before the actual issue arrives in stores (and sorry, we can only review comics people can go to stores and buy), we guarantee the work will get reviewed, if remembered. Physical comics? Geddouttahere. Too much drama to store with diminishing resources. If you send it in more than two days before comics come out, the possibility of it being forgotten increases exponentially. Oh, you should use the contact form as the CBR email address hasn't been regularly checked since George W. Bush was in office. Sorry!