It’s not the ’60s anymore, but most of us are of the mind that sex is fine and dandy, as long as you’re being safe and consensual. Not to be outdone by us mere mortals, characters in comics are ramping up their sexcapades to truly astonishing new heights. Yes, it seems that aside from flying, the most common superpower in comics is being a big ol’ sex machine. It does make sense; after all, at the Olympics, a ton of sex is had, because everyone there is a beautiful god or goddess or gender neutral deity, and all of their time is spent getting acclaim, and their nerves are high. Sounds a bit like superheroes doesn’t it?
With that in mind, here are the superheroes who — if they were real — would be so scandalous, they would make every single gossip mag a million dollars. These are the superheroes who could make Casanova blush, the ones who get around town at night in more ways than one. Note: There are some characters we could’ve included here — see Deadpool — that we didn’t because, honestly, we didn’t want to picture them doing anything sexual at all… ever… nor did we want to inflect that punishment upon you. You’re welcome!
15. PETER QUILL
Star-Lord. Captain. Prince. Player. Peter Quill, especially in the movies, is a bit of a Casanova. His (adult) introduction in Guardians of The Galaxy is literally hanging out with a naked girl. In one of his next scenes, he lists all of the wounds he’s gotten from people he’s had sex with. Of course, he probably has managed to have sex with people other than the ones who hurt him, so odds are, his list is quite high.
In the comics, it’s not much different, with his most recent significant paramour being Kitty Pryde of the X-Men, who took over the Guardians of the Galaxy after Peter Quill went off to become a King. Of course, as we all know, that definitely doesn’t lead to any between-the-sheets action. (That was sarcasm, btw.)
14. JOHNNY STORM
Johnny Storm is pretty hot. That isn’t a double entendre either; he is smoking. Okay, wait, he’s… handsome? There we go. There’s not many people who wouldn’t mind Chris Evans’ Johnny Storm “accidentally” burning all of his clothes off. Same is true in the comics. He’s pretty much a party-boy who goes out with a lot of different people all of the time.
It makes a ton of sense when you realize that he is basically a massive celebrity. (Heck, the rest of the Fantastic Four, really, are the celebrities of the Marvel Universe.) Who doesn’t want to be a groupie to one of the coolest, hottest celebrities out there? Add to the fact that he seemingly can never die and, oh yeah, he’s saved all of existence multiple times? It’s no wonder he’s never at lack of a, ahem, date.
Lobo is the Main Man and is maybe the most macho and alpha character in the DC universe. True to form, he’s one of the only people on this list to have had sex with someone else on this list (more on that later). He’s typically shown with women falling off of him, women lusting after him, and occasionally with a full on harem of women devoted to him. He also talks about his, erhm, interpersonal relationships a bit.
Now, granted, there’s very few scenes of him actually engaging in uhm… coitus (thankfully), but unless he’s completely lying, he’s one of the most promiscuous men in the entire Universe. You can see it, too, right? He’s hairy, he’s nasty, he screams, he’s got that eighties metal hair, and a space-alien bike? Ya gotta admit, he’s not too shabby… for a weird, alien bounty hunter sociopath.
John Constantine might not be much to look at, but despite his oft-repugnant attitude, appearance, and most likely smell, he’s been around. He’s one of the only openly bisexual male characters in comics, and it seems he’s almost trying to make up for lost time. He’s had trysts with demons, monsters, and every conceivable gender out there (as well as some inconceivable ones).
Half of his stories are about bad relationships he’s had in the past coming back to bite him in the butt; sometimes literally. Look, magicians are supposed to use sex as magic, so maybe he’s just being a good magician? It’s great to see him flirting with men and women all the time, but John needs to keep it in his pants sometimes. Of course, if he did, we’d probably have a lot less Hellblazer tales and we’d be all the poorer for it.
For a time (specifically at the beginning of the New 52), Starfire was one of the more openly sexual characters out there. She has no shame about sex or about her body and loves to explore both. According to one, much-maligned comic, she has sex so much with so many different people that she — in addition to being unconcerned about their feelings — does not actually remember their names, faces, or sometimes that she even had sex with them at all.
While in some variations, Starfire is a cuter, funner version of herself, most comic books maintain that on her planet, in her culture, having sex with many people — even really close to each other, even when you’re dating one of them — isn’t a bad thing. All hail our polyamorous hero. Of course, chances are this aspect of her personality will be toned down a bit when she ends up on the Teen Titans show later, but — eh — it’s a post-Game of Thrones world, so who knows?!
10. TONY STARK
Billionare. Genius. Philanthropist. Playboy. It’s that last word that we’re going to zero in on because it’s the most important to this article. Almost everything he does seems to lead to him dating someone new. In the movies, he’s basically only been interested in Pepper Potts — at least after coming back from the cave with his suit — but in the comics, he gets around. He’s hooked up with Gamora, for gosh sakes. She’s like half as strong as Thanos! His reaction to that encounter is “ow,” which proves how much of a playboy he is. After all, most humans’ reaction to sex with Gamora would’ve been the “squish” sound they make as they break into a pile of mush.
That’s not all, either. He’s had sex with Mantis, Black Widow, Emma Frost, She-Hulk, Maria Hill, and that’s just counting big name superheroes, not all the “normal” people he’s just hung around with… and subsequently hooked up with. You can argue he’s not a genius, maybe he’s not a philanthropist, and he’s not always a billionaire. But you can never deny, he’s a playboy.
Who in the heck would want to have sex with the Hulk? You’d be surprised, because it seems like darn near everybody. When he was on the Sakaar (aka Planet Hulk), he was a hero and was lusted after by a bunch of people, but only took one woman as his wife, Caiera The Oldstrong. Over in the Ultimate Universe, he had his own harem — in a place secreted away in the mountains, where it was only him and his “brides.”
Heck, even when it’s not Bruce Banner’s flesh, women can’t stop coming after him, as Amadeus Cho (aka, The Totally Awesome Hulk) learned when he got his own series… and was then immediately hunted after by a cosmic warrior woman who wanted to marry him. Basically, the only gamma-irradiated monster in the Marvel Universe who gets around more is his (meaning Bruce Banner’s) cousin. More on that in a bit.
Listen, let’s not ignore the elephant in the room — Nightwing has a magnificent butt. He might truly be one of the most lusted after characters in all of the DC Universe. Forget Harley, forget Poison Ivy, heck even forget the Star Sapphires. Of all the characters in comics, the one most real, actual people would love to smoosh, is Good Ol’ Dick Grayson. (Even his name is sexual!)
Nightwing, true to his out-of-universe status as a sex symbol, gets around a fair bit in the comics, too. He was getting down around town so early in comics that the writers had to make a note that they didn’t approve of premarital sex. That’s how long Nightwing has been sexing up with, we might add, a fellow Titan, Starfire. Ah, the two lovebirds.
She-Hulk is much maligned in certain circles for being a Hulk you can, well, dream about hooking up with. Fortunately, though, she’s a lot more than that. She’s an awesome lawyer who has starred in many comedic — and fourth wall-breaking — comic books. She’s an integral part in many teams (Avengers and otherwise) and is one of the strongest women around. Also…
Yeah, She-Hulk likes to have sex. She likes it a lot. She’s had sex with Hercules, with Juggernaut, basically with the tough, hot dudes who can take it. And, c’mon, honestly? Who wouldn’t want to sleep with the Juggernaut? (Okay, a lot of people, but…) Just because she’s a sexual girl doesn’t mean there isn’t a ton more to her. Sure, she has sex, but if you’re mean about it, she can also drop a building on you.
Wolverine openly smells bad, openly looks bad, and is openly just the worst person around. He kills, maims, and eats like an animal. Somehow — somehow— he has sex with almost every single woman he’s come across (and even a few dudes). He has sex with characters who show up for one issue, or for one arc. He has sex with people in different countries; he has sex with people in different times at this point, given his age. Heck, even if Wolverine were one of the more prudish characters around, he’d still be on this list based on the fact that he’s been alive for over two hundred years, and during that time he’s had at least an above-average number of flings.
Grab any single Wolverine comic and there is a large chance he will be making out with or having sex with someone on at least one page. Wolverine has had sex with Jean Grey, Madame Hydra, Domino, Dazzler… Look, he’s had sex with so many people we’d need a chart. Oh, look, here’s one (see link)!
Yes. Spider-Man. The dweeb. The friendly neighborhood dude. He somehow is one of the naughtier characters around. This is somewhat surprising, of course, given that he was first created as a beautifully awkward nerd that everyone hated and wanted to beat up. But then (after Steve Ditko, his fellow nerd, left) he somehow became a player. He dated people in his office, in college, even some of his own rogues gallery! Heck, one of his superpowers was even revealed to be super pheromones — granted, ones that work on only one other spider-person (Silk), but it still counts!
Since he first emerged in comics as his Aunt May’s dweebish nephew, he has blossomed to the point where one of his main concerns is his romantic entanglements. He’s hooked up with Black Cat and Silver Sable, who are basically the prettiest femme fatales to ever appear in the Marvel Universe. At this point, there’s just a chance that his super pheromones actually work on everyone.
4. WONDER WOMAN
Now, Wonder Woman is one of the more promiscuous characters in the DC Universe… depending on which version of the character you go with. Like all comic book characters, Wonder Woman is defined based on the person writing her, so, take all of this with a grain of salt. That said, according to the stories written by Gail Simone, William Moulton Marston, Greg Rucka, Marguerite Bennett, and Grant Morrison, Wonder Woman was raised on an island of only women where she had a ton of relationships, some of them which involved BDSM.
She is one of the most openly sexual characters to ever fly around, having relationships with many men, many women, and tons of superheroes. She feels no shame about her sexuality, either, or about her past relationships, and just enjoys sex like the powerful, sorta Grecian, sorta Goddess she is. She would be number one on this list, if not for the fact that this is true in only half the stories. Hopefully the Wonder Woman film takes inspiration from the ones we mentioned.
3. HARLEY QUINN
The single most promiscuous-and-proud girl in the DC Universe is none other than Harleen Quinzel. She is, in fact, the only character who has an entire comic series dedicated to her hanging out with people she would like to have sex with. Yes, that is the conceit of Harley’s Little Black Book. One of them is just another version of her, which for anyone else might be awkward. And then of course, there’s Lobo. That’s right, Harley Quinn and Lobo bumped uglies and swapped gravy behind a waterfall on an alien planet, no less! That is dedication to the cause!
In addition to her Little Black Book, Harley Quinn is also openly bisexual and polyamorous in her own series, hooking up with her long-distance girlfriend Poison Ivy, while also routinely going on dates with other characters. In some cases, she just hooks up with them, too. Being a psychiatrist, Harley Quinn actually has a completely healthy and normal relationship with sex, which is the only time we’ll ever say anything about her is healthy or normal.
2. GREEN ARROW
Green Arrow is a blond billionaire who swings around fighting baddies. Of course he’s had ton of sex. In Arrow, he’s shown with a bunch of people — including both Lance sisters — before even ending up on Lian Yui and becoming the titular Arrow. Back then he was a callous, careless playboy who was shown to use women up and dispose of them, because he was basically the epitome of a frat boy jerk. Of course, even after that, he continued having romances left and right, including with both of the Lance sisters… again. In the comics, he’s just as footloose and fancy free, though admittedly, his daliances usually lead back to his commitment to Black Canary, who has basically proven to be his on-again, off-again wife.
Batman s a man who has gotten around. It’s pretty hard to not underestimate exactly how many people Batman has been with. His go-to move seems to be finding girls who are dangerous and then, when he can’t beat them physically, to have sex with them. Seriously. It’s his MO. He and Catwoman’s first forray in the New 52 — to some media ballyhoo — began with the two getting it on. Batman’s has tried t on with Black Canary, while it is implied that he and Wonder Woman at least had a fling. He also had an affair with Batgirl… leading to a pregnancy… while she was dating Dick Grayson.
He and Talia have dipped into each others’ pools more often than Ra’s does one of his Lazarus Pits. It’s honestly mind-boggling trying to think a lady supervillain who he hasn’t bedded — and that’s not counting all of the people who he’s dated as Bruce Wayne, like Vicki Vale and Silver St Cloud. Batman’s had sex so much, he even eventually had a kid, which is near impossible for characters in comics.
Who do you think is the most promiscuous comic book character ever? Jump in the comments and let us know!
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