Avengers: Infinity War showed the world the true power of Thanos. This is a guy who can knock the Hulk out and he can swat away entire armies as if they were nothing. And, lest we forget, he can wipe out all life in the universe with a snap of his fingers. That’s exactly what he did at the end of the movie, giving us one hell of a cliffhanger ending. Fans now wonder who will survive and who won’t... but most of all, they want to know how it could be possible for our heroes to defeat someone as powerful as Thanos. It’s going to be a long wait, as fans have to wait an entire year to see Thanos get his purple butt handed to him by the good guys. If you’re not that patient, though, we’ve got some pretty good news -- you don’t have to wait that long to see Thanos get defeated.
Over the decades, the character has suffered some truly spectacular and humiliating defeats. Sometimes, this is in the comics or it happens in a cartoon. And sometimes it’s the regular (616) universe, and or in an alternate universe. However, all of these issues and episodes and realities have something in common -- Thanos suffers a humiliating defeat, and often from characters that you would never suspect. From Squirrel Girl to the NYPD, you’ll never guess who all has gotten a humiliating piece of Thanos over the years! Don’t believe us? Just keep reading to check out these 20 times that Thanos was completely embarrassed.
20 STAR-LORD
Fans of Avengers: Infinity War know that the MCU version of Star-Lord has his own intense motivation for beef with Thanos. However, that beef goes back way farther in the comics, and in one memorable situation, Star-Lord handed the Mad Titan a pretty humiliating defeat... although he had a little bit of help.
In an encounter where the Guardians had to fight a newly-resurrected Thanos, Star-Lord was packing one heck of a surprise: a Cosmic Cube. This is enough to get Thanos talking (he had his own weird history with Cosmic Cubes), and the Cube, seemingly with a life of its own, knocks Thanos right out. Just like that, Star-Lord helped do what few others ever could!
19 THOR
In the comics, Thor has clashed with Thanos very often, and he usually gets his Asgardian butt kicked (most famously in the original "Infinity Gauntlet" story). However, on one occasion, Thor had several new toys in his arsenal, and they were enough to hand Thanos quite the defeat.
Thor gets the hook-up from Firelord in the form of some new armor that was created by Odin. And apparently Odin is quite the craftsman, as Thor is able to not only survive, but to smash Thanos’ head in. Later, Marvel claimed this was merely a clone of Thanos, but being able to defeat an exact duplicate is still just as impressive for Thor.
18 ODIN
Of course, it stands to reason that if Odin is able to provide Thor with the kind of armor that can defeat Thanos, then Odin himself is likely to give Thanos quite a run for his money. And when Thanos decides to wander the Bifrost in an attempt to kill Heimdall, we get to see a true clash of the titans.
To the credit of Thanos, it’s a hell of a fight and he doesn’t exactly roll over to Odin’s Asgardian might. Nonetheless, Odin is able to knock him through enough buildings to give you Man of Steel flashbacks. Before the fight can continue, the two are forced to team up to deal with a new crisis. Still, it’s clear that Odin was winning the fight!
17 DRAX
Even the most casual fans know that Drax is devoted to the destruction of Thanos. So far in the MCU, the closest Drax has come is helping to permanently defeat the Thanos's henchman, Ronan. In the comics, though, Drax once got his revenge in quite the bloody fashion!
Back when Thanos teamed up with Annihilus, it looked like the two might spell doom for the entire galaxy. Drax, however, would have none of it. He fought through their army and then ripped out the heart of his enemy like he was a Mortal Kombat character. Don’t worry, though -- Thanos would be back before we knew it.
16 SQUIRREL GIRL
If you’re not a fan of Squirrel Girl, then she might be one of the more surprising names on this list. However, in her offbeat comics, she has actually triumphed over a number of big name villains that range from Doctor Doom to Galactus. And she was even able to add the name of Thanos to her impressive list of victories.
How did she do it? Well... that’s a secret that Marvel isn’t telling. It literally occurred off-panel, and the only details we get are The Watcher telling us about how this was definitely Thanos she beat and not some kind of clone. Who knows how she did it, but we’re pretty sure a defeat from Squirrel Girl is pretty damn humiliating!
15 DOCTOR DOOM
One of the reasons that Thanos usually beats our heroes is that he’s got all the cards on his side. He’s often boosted by things like Infinity Stones, Cosmic Cubes... basically, anything to give him an edge. At one point, though, he went toe-to-toe with someone who had all the power -- Doctor Doom.
This was back when Doom had control over all reality and everyone within it. Nonetheless, Thanos thought he could oppose Doom’s rule, saying that Doom should become a servant to Thanos. At this point, Doom gets mad and simply rips the skeleton of his foe from his body. That’s how humiliating this defeat was -- it wasn’t even a fight.
14 ZOMBIE HULK
Part of the fun of Marvel comics are all the different realities. And one of the most popular alternate universes is Marvel Zombies, a series in which most heroes and villains have been turned into flesh-eating zombies. And at one point, Zombie Hulk and Zombie Thanos go at it!
This is another humiliating defeat that doesn’t even have a real fight. Thanos accuses Hulk of hogging the limited resources (read: living flesh) at their disposal, and Hulk responds to this insult by smashing the Titan’s head into paste. And despite being a zombie, this seems to be the definitive end of Thanos within this universe.
13 WOLVERINE
Speaking of other realities, one of Marvel’s most beloved series are the What If? comics. True to their name, these comics explore how fights and adventures could have been resolved quite differently. And in one of these issues exploring the New Fantastic Four, we see Wolverine truly humiliate Thanos.
He does so much sneakier than he usually handles things. Wolverine pretends to be a friend and advisor to Thanos, taking over the role that Mephisto once played. It’s all just for show, though, and when he gets a chance, Wolverine cuts off the arm wearing the Infinity Gauntlet. Hulk and Spider-Man help after this, but the true win goes to Wolverine.
12 DEADPOOL
You know how Thanos is motivated to destroy half the universe? In the MCU, he sees this as a solution to scarcity as no one will starve again if there are half as many mouths to feed. It’s a bit crazier in the comics, though. Thanos wants to impress Death, who is personified by a woman he has fallen in love with.
That’s what makes this next defeat so humiliating. Death sometimes favors Deadpool instead of Thanos. On one occasion, it’s all due to Deadpool’s fast-talking -- he points out that destroying half the universe to impress Death means sparing the other half from her, so it’s all a zero-sum game. Death chooses Deadpool, and Thanos actually perishes!
11 RANDOM KID AND COPS
Most of these humiliating defeats are at the hands of some big name heroes and villains, which takes some of the sting out of it. After all, we always expect the good guys to win in the end. But on one insane occasion, Thanos got his butt kicked by a random child named Jim!
The issue is weird all around, as it was the first to feature Thanos flying around in his custom helicopter (no, really). He’s using a Cosmic Cube to threaten Spider-Man and Hellcat, but when he drops the cube, a kid named Jim grabs it and uses it to tie Thanos up! To complete the humiliation, Thanos is actually handcuffed by the police... he didn’t even warrant a S.H.I.E.L.D. team.
10 LOCKJAW
As we said, it’s one thing to get beaten by a powerful superhero. However, there’s one thing maybe a bit worse than getting beaten by a kid with a Cosmic Cube. And that’s being beaten by a dog... albeit a dog with quite a few powers under his command.
Lockjaw, the Inhuman dog, was once in league with the Pet Avengers, and they found themselves in possession of the Infinity Stones. Naturally, Thanos came to try to get them, and Lockjaw ends up using the power of all the Stones to defeat Thanos, banishing him into another dimension in one of the Mad Titan's most embarrassing moments ever.
9 ADAM WARLOCK
Avengers: Infinity War is very loosely adapted from the original "Infinity Gauntlet' storyline. We say “loosely” because the movie is quite different from the comics. In fact, we haven’t been properly introduced in the MCU to the guy who handed Thanos his big defeat in the comics in Adam Warlock.
Adam Warlock manipulated everything like a chess master, getting Thanos to give up on his quest for the Gauntlet and eventually ending up with the Gauntlet himself. While he had some more dramatic defeats of the Titan (including turning him into stone), this psychological defeat of Thanos was much more humiliating.
8 KA-ZAR
If you were taking bets on characters powerful enough to defeat Thanos, it would be understandable if no one bet on Ka-Zar. After all, Ka-Zar is just like a really skilled modern day cave man that hangs out in the Savage Land. That’s what made it that much worse for Thanos when this guy kicked his butt.
In a dramatic fight in the Savage Land, the two grappled near some lava, Star Wars style. Ka-zar eventually got the upper hand and punched Thanos until he fell in the lava. The villain managed to live, meaning he had to spend each day thinking about the time he couldn’t defeat a dude with no powers who wears a loin cloth.
7 GALACTUS
Comics are fun because we get to see characters change and try new things. And for Thanos, that included doing the impossible -- being a superhero. However, even as a good guy, Thanos didn’t really know how to pick his fights, which is how he got beaten by Galactus.
At first, it looks good for Thanos, as he’s able to knock Galactus backwards, which is no easy feat. It doesn’t last, though, and a couple of cosmic blasters renders Thanos helpless. He’s able to talk his way out of annihilation, but that may be the most humiliating thing of all -- someone like Thanos having to beg for his life.
6 THANOS
We alluded to this earlier, but Thanos has one particular enemy that he can never escape in himself. We don’t mean that metaphorically, either. With some help from Adam Warlock, Thanos once realized that he is always destined to sabotage his own plans for universal domination.
In that original "Infinity Gauntlet" story, things got bad when Nebula took the Gauntlet from Thanos. She was unstable enough to threaten all life in the universe, but Thanos initially refused to Adam get the Gauntlet. Adam Warlock pointed out that Thanos keeps getting things like Cosmic Cubes and the Gauntlet and then losing them. This is because deep down, he knows he’s not worthy of the power that he seeks!
5 AVENGERS
Whole most of the multimedia Avengers love goes (naturally) to the MCU, there have been quite a few interesting cartoons over the years. One of these was Avengers Assemble, which showed our heroes fighting against Thanos. They eventually triumph with a radically simple idea.
Tony Stark eventually susses out that for all their destructive potential, the Infinity Stones are merely sources of energy. So, he whips up a robot that can absorb that energy. That robot takes the Infinity Gauntlet off of him, and from there, he gets a pretty thorough buttkicking from Iron Man and the rest of the assembled heroes.
4 ULTIMATES
Remember when we talked about how annoying it was that Squirrel Girl’s defeat of Thanos happened basically off panel? If you thought that Marvel would never employ that cheap trick again, then you didn’t read all of the issues leading up to Civil War II, where basically the same thing happens with the Ultimates.
They are able to predict the Big Bad’s attack thanks to the future forecasting powers of an Inhuman named Ulysses. This lets the team get the jump on Thanos and defeat him, but we don’t really see the battle, and it’s mostly relayed through ambiguous dialogue like “the heroes saved the day.” Regardless of details, getting instantly jumped and beaten down remains pretty humiliating.
3 MAR-VELL
Nowadays, if you hear the name Captain Marvel, you are likely thinking of Carol Danvers, soon to be the star of her own major motion picture. However, the title was once wielded by the Kree warrior Mar-vell, and an alternative (and evil) version of this character once handed Thanos a pretty decisive defeat.
This version of Mar-vell had a plague of undeath (we know, comics are weird). Thanos apparently allowed himself to be sacrificed in a bid to have Death (the woman that he loves) claim his foes. And while that part of the plan worked, Death was not impressed by how he betrayed those around him, leaving him alone once again.
2 GROOT
As we said before, Thanos doesn’t like to play fair. He usually prefers having some powerful cosmic boost to his powers before he takes on our heroes. And it gets ugly when the fight is fair. Don’t believe us? Just ask Groot and the rest of the Guardians of the Galaxy.
In one issue, they use a tool borrowed from the Collector to strip Thanos of his Cosmic Cube given powers. When he’s back down to Earth (so to speak), Groot gets thrown by Hulk and goes sickhouse on Thanos. The rest of the team eventually knocks Thanos out, but we’re giving the win to Groot and his bold first move.
1 THANE
Anyone who has seen Infinity War knows that Thanos has a pretty complicated relationship with his children. In the comics, one of those kids is Thane. This character is an Inhuman who can alter reality, imprison people in amber... basically, he has some god-like (albeit weirdly specific) powers.
Eventually, Thane is forced to use those powers on his father. And guess what -- it wasn’t even a fight. Thane was able to trap Thanos in a state of “living undeath” (whatever that means) quicker than the big guy can snap his fingers. And maybe we’re just getting old, but nothing seems quite as humiliating as an instant whooping from your own kid.