Galactus is an epic force of galactic destruction. Dubbed the Devourer of Worlds, Galactus has an appetite so inconceivably large he has to literally consume the energy of a whole planet to curb his hunger. Exploring the cosmos for a planet just right for his dietary needs is an exhausting act by itself, so Galactus employs a cosmic energy imbued Herald that will do the searching for him. There’s no way that a race of beings is going to give up its planet willingly, so the Herald’s job is to prepare the planet for the arrival of Galactus, and that preparation could mean the pacification of any beings that stand in the way of his hunger.
Galactus has had some pretty terrible Heralds over the years. Some of them got greedy and tried to take power for themselves, others refused to take off their roller skates. Because of the high rate of attrition, Galactus is always keeping his eye out for future Heralds, and there are some that he should avoid because of their potential to be absolute disasters. We here at CBR take a look at 8 of the terrible Heralds of Galactus has employed so far, as well as 7 heroes who would probably turn out to be much worse.
15. TERRIBLE: DAZZLER
The character Dazzler started out as a cross-promotional collaboration between Marvel Comics and Casablanca Records. She was a disco singer who could convert sound into light and energy beams. So how did Alison Blaire, with strong roots in disco, singing, and the X-Men, wind up as a Herald of Galactus?
To supercharge her, Galactus exposed Dazzler to the sound of an exploding galaxy, a cosmic energy story, and “the awesome din of creation itself.” With all of that power, she was able to go into a black hole to retrieve Terrax, his former Herald. What’s the real reason she’s a terrible Herald of Galactus? Even with Galactus infusing her with the Power Cosmic, she still insisted on wearing her disco ball roller skates. Nuff said!
14. TERRIBLE: DEADPOOL
How does one become a herald for Galactus? It’s not like he lists the job in the classified section of a newspaper, right? Actually, that’s exactly how Deadpool got the job. After answering an ad, Galactus recruits the Merc With a Mouth to prepare planets for his arrival.
Once imbued with the Power Cosmic, Wade Wilson opts to ride the cosmos not on a silver board but an orange board with a gigantic flame-spewing engine on the back of it. Unlike past heralds, Wade had no problems with leading Galactus to planets for him to consume and he’s quite good at his job. But because Wade can’t stop talking, Galactus tells him to shut up and leave. We can’t see that relationship ending any other way.
13. TERRIBLE: SUPERMAN
Whoa, Superman is on this list? Yup! Marvel and DC co-produced a one shot that paired up Superman with the Fantastic Four. Superman gets a holographic message from his father, Jor-El, blaming Galactus for the destruction of Krypton (we later find out that it was a manipulation by Hank Henshaw, the Cyborg Superman). Superman goes to the Fantastic Four for information on Galactus when Big Purple abducts Superman and forces him to be his herald to find planets to consume.
Superman was powerful before but now imbued with the Power Cosmic, was unstoppable. Why was Superman such a horrible herald? After finding a populated planet for Galactus to consume, Superman had a flashback to the destruction of his own home planet. Getting someone to find planets to be destroyed who came from a planet that was destroyed doesn’t make Superman the best choice or a killer Herald.
12. TERRIBLE: THE FALLEN ONE
It’s rare for anyone to get something right on the first try, and the first Herald of Galactus is no exception. The Fallen one was not given the Power Cosmic but instead utilized dark energy, which he used to augment himself physically and shoot energy. Previous Heralds had a knack for being cruel but The Fallen One was so bad he was released from his duties and even imprisoned by Galactus. What makes him a terrible Herald?
The Fallen One returned on several occasions to attack Galactus, and even teamed up with Thanos on occasions to cause even more destruction to the galaxy. When you get fired from a job, you’re not supposed to come back, and you’re certainly not supposed to harass your former boss. Even after being imprisoned in an intergalactic prison by Star-Lord, the Fallen One kept returning. Take a hint, Fallen!
11. TERRIBLE: STARDUST
Stardust is an Ethereal, a race of beings comprised of pure energy. After being infused with the Power Cosmic, she became virtually indestructible, being able to recreate herself at will if destroyed. Unlike most of the Heralds of Galactus, Stardust would do one more thing before handing a planet over for feeding: she would slaughter all of inhabitants of the planet. But what makes Stardust one of the worst Heralds?
She was actually in love with the Devourer of Worlds, and being in love with your boss never makes for a good working relationship. Love drove Stardust to give the energy of the last remaining members of her race for Galactus to feed. Although her real name is Lambda-Zero, we here at CBR kinda wish her first name was really Ziggy.
10. TERRIBLE: THE DESTROYER
The Destroyer isn’t a person, but an enchanted suit of armor created by Odin, the All-Father of the Asgardians. It’s comprised of an unknown metal, which, thanks to Odin’s enchantments, is stronger than the metal Uru, which comprises Thor‘s hammer. It’s virtually invulnerable to all forms of physical damage and can fire extremely powerful energy bolts out of its face when its mask opens.
Galactus used The Destroyer as his Herald when Thor offered to exchange him for his current Herald at the time, which was the Xandarian named Firelord. It seemed like a match made in the heavens, but the Destroyer was just a suit of armor that could be inhabited by someone. The Destroyer should not be viewed as a character but as a weapon, and if in the wrong hands could do incalculable damage.
9. TERRIBLE: MORG
When Galactus came to consume Morg’s home planet, Morg didn’t run. On his homeworld, Morg was an executioner, and with his double-edged battle axe in hand walked right up to Galactus and told him to take a long walk off a short pier. Impressed by his lack of fear and his occupation (and perhaps tired of how meek and inefficient his current Herald, Nova, was) he recruited Morg on the spot.
Given his lack of respect for life and his savagery, what made Morg such a bad Herald? He was extremely power hungry, so much that all of the previous Heralds of Galactus united together to take him down. Morg was stripped of his Power Cosmic and was killed by Terrax, but was later resurrected by Galactus and given a second chance. What was his first act? To get his axe and get revenge on Terrax. Some people never learn.
8. TERRIBLE: AUNT MAY
Aunt May, Herald of Galactus? Allow us to explain: Galactus comes to Earth and decides that Franklin, the son of Reed and Susan Richards, would make an excellent Herald due to the potential power the boy possessed. During this time, Spider-Man gets Aunt May to babysit for the Fantastic Four. When Galactus arrives and fires an energy beam to give Franklin Richards the Power Cosmic, Aunt May throws herself in front of the beam and becomes the all-powerful… Golden Oldie.
Still with us? While Aunt May looks for suitable planets, Franklin keeps Galactus fed with the nourishing powers of Twinkies. In space, Aunt May finds the Creator, a creature that looks suspiciously like the Pillsbury Dough Boy, who creates snacks the size of planets. She actually finds a planet-sized Twinkie. Why was Aunt May so bad? Twinkies, Aunt May? You’ll rot Galactus’ teeth! As an aunt, you should really know better.
7. WORSE: GROOT
At first glance, the walking tree known as Groot would be an ideal choice. Groot is a Flora Colossus from Planet X, and as someone that has an innate connection to nature, if charged with the Power Cosmic the ability to seek out suitable planets should not be a hard task for him. He’s durable, he’s driven, and he’s knowledgable about space travel and different races. But what would make Groot a worse Herald than say The Destroyer?
Groot is infamous for his severely limited vocabulary, only able to respond with three words: “I am Groot.” If he were to encounter a suitable planet for Galactus what would he tell him? “I am Groot.” Galactus, having severely short patience, would either release him from being his Herald or incinerate him. Either way, this is not the match meant to be.
6. WORSE: HANK PYM
In the past, Heralds have tried to find alternate sources of energy for Galactus besides eating planets (yes, Aunt May giving Galactus Twinkies does count). Recruiting the Scientist Supreme Hank Pym to be a Herald of Galactus seems like a good idea. For starters, he might be able to find energy in the Microverse, a dimension that can be reached by shrinking to the size of sub-atomic particles.
So what makes him a worse Herald than, say, Deadpool? For one, as a scientist that respects life, it’s highly unlikely that he would lead Galactus to an inhabited world to consume. Then again, in current issues of The Avengers Hank Pym has merged with Ultron, and in that configuration he’s unlikely to be helping anyone but himself.
5. WORSE: NICK FURY
Galactus needs someone who can make hard decisions about choosing what planets would be suitable to feed him. Nick Fury, former leader of the super spy agency S.H.I.E.L.D., had to make hard, life-changing decisions every day. In the Original Sin storyline, it was revealed that Nick Fury defended the Earth through whatever means necessary, which included torture, assassinations, and committing genocide.
He did these things without any regret, so what’s stopping him from being an awesome Herald? Plain and simple: it’s hard to trust someone hiding so many secrets. Galactus on numerous occasions has been betrayed by his Heralds, and moving forward would want someone he could trust. Nick Fury, being a former spy and cosmic god-killer (after smiting the Watcher), has too many strikes against him.
4. WORSE: DOCTOR STRANGE
Both the Doctor Strange movie starring Benedict Cumberbatch as well as the comic book have taught us that there’s much more to the universe than what’s visible to the naked eye. There are alternate dimensions, alternate timelines, magical entities, and more. Instead of eating planets, perhaps the good Doctor might be able to bring to the Devourer of Worlds a mystical energy source that will satisfy even the hunger of Galactus?
What could be worse than energy from magic? Well, magic is unpredictable for a variety of reasons. One reason is that some spells involve invoking an entity, such as Cyttorak or Faltine or Raggadorr, and like most super-powerful, extra-dimensional entities, they can be temperamental. Imagine Doctor Strange tries to provide Galactus with energy from Hoggoth, only to get a knock on his door from Hoggoth himself. Thanks but no thanks, Doctor.
3. WORSE: ROGUE
Space travel. Planetary exploration. Xenobiology. Being a Herald of Galactus requires a very diverse skillset to say the least. The person serving Galactus needs to be able to satisfy his hunger and deal with the destruction of an entire planet. Who could fit the bill? A superhero with an incredibly diverse set of powers is the X-Men member Rogue, who has the ability to absorb the psyche and abilities of others.
This versatility could even allow for her to touch Galactus and have an intimate understanding of his hunger and his need to feed. So what could go wrong with someone who could relate to what’s going on inside the head (and stomach) of Galactus? Wouldn’t touching Galactus result in Rogue becoming a second Galactus, meaning there would be two planet-destroying creatures roaming around the universe? We’re not sure, but we certainly wouldn’t be willing to find out… okay, we would, but it would probably prove disastrous.
2. WORSE: VISION
Galactus has used robotic entities before as his Herald in the past. Gabriel Lan was someone that served Galactus loyally until he sacrificed himself to protect Galactus from a fleet of Ovoid warships. Galactus created a robotic version of Lan named Air-Walker and placed his consciousness inside of it. The Vision is an android and although looks like a person is a very complex robot. Over the years he’s had imprinted in him the brain waves of such people as Simon Williams to shape his personality.
Nevertheless, he’s still a machine at heart and like any robot can make decisions that are not influenced by emotions. So what would make the Vision a worse choice than Dazzler? If the Vision uses his robotic logic to decide the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one, at what point is it no longer logical to feed the hunger of Galactus?
1. WORSE: DAREDEVIL
Although he’s blind, Matt Murdock’s other senses were heightened when he was exposed to radioactive materials that fell off a truck in Hell’s Kitchen. He developed a radar sense and because of his father’s death a strong sense of justice. What would happen if Daredevil was given the Power Cosmic? How would his heightened senses function? Would his radar sense take on a cosmic perception that would allow him to find suitable energy sources for Galactus?
It’s certainly an interesting possibility, but unfortunately he would be one of the worst choices as Herald. It’s not because he’s blind, it’s because of his dark side. When Frank Miller wrote Daredevil in the 1980s, he made him sort of an antihero who would torture villains and was not afraid to kill. Galactus has a habit of cruel Heralds turning against him and Matt Murdock would do the same.
Who do you think was the most terrible Herald of Galactus? Who could be worse? Post your comments below!
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