As most readers likely have seen by now, Marvel confirmed last night on The Colbert Report that Sam Wilson is the new Captain America, but you may not caught a heartbroken Stephen Colbert learning from Marvel Chief Creative Officer Joe Quesada that, alas, he won't be the one taking up the shield. Watch the video below.
Colbert made a pretty good case for himself, saying, "Obviously, you have to be truly patriotic, you have to look decades younger than your actual age. ... It should be someone who actually owns Captain America's shield. That's right, that's right -- the shield has been up there since 2007. I needed it for my battle against Nickelback." (It was actually given to Colbert by Quesada during the "Death of Captain America" storyline.)
"I want you to know that I would be proud to wear that letter A," Colbert continued, "and this time it won't be because I committed adultery with a 17th-century reverend."
While Quesada revealed that it would be Wilson, and not Colbert, in the star-spangled costume, he was quick to embrace the idea of a new Falcon -- even debuting Kris Anka's illustration of the TV host in his new role, waxed chest and all.
And Colbert seemed pleased, too, coming up with the new Falcon's catchphrase: "Why did the Falcon cross the road? For justice, motherfucker."