Let's be perfectly clear: Spider-Man for PlayStation 4 is a dope video game. Unequivocally the best Spider-Man themed game of all time for sure, but a flawless game it is not. Not unlike webbed up backpacks, Taskmaster tokens, and stray pigeons, we've scoured all of digital Manhattan on Spectacular difficulty – which is the hardest difficulty level, but also not that hard? Hashtag humblebrag – to bring you 20 things about Spider-Man PS4 that make no sense.
First and foremost, we're well aware that we will be splitting some fully-rendered digital hairs. Typically, two kinds of nonsensical "problems" exist in Spider-Man PS4. The first kind of problem involves storytelling: holes in logic appear in order to move the plot along. The second kind of problem revolves around game abstraction, wherein developers sacrifice realism and in-game logic to create a game mechanic that enhances the player's experience. These design choices aren't "bugs," rather "features." After all, this is a Spider-Man game, not a Spider-Man simulator. Take health recovery: In the game, you can spend your focus meter to recover health with a single button press, even though Spidey has never had non-symbiote based regeneration abilities in the comics. You're supposed to suspend your disbelief for these sort of "flaws," however some of these flaws are too glaring to be overlooked. We suppose that a light spoiler-warning should be in effect, but we're only spoiling things if you know absolutely nothing about Spider-Man. For instance, did you know that Dr. Octopus' real name is Otto Octavius? If not, then we apologize for spoiling Spider-Man PS4 for you.
20 NOBODY LOOKS UP
Directly copying the "Predator Mode" sections from the Batman: Arkham games, Spider-Man has the opportunity to avoid brawls by covertly taking down enemies with webbing and over-the-top arachnid acrobatics. Just as Batman can leave criminals hanging with a grapple cord from a conveniently placed gargoyle, Spidey can leave enemies strung up by a web-line.
In certain situations, these perch takedowns are available mere feet off of the ground. When fighting the Demons in an art museum, for instance, the bulk of these flunkies can be left hanging at the same eye-level as the paintings, at about eight feet off of the ground. Other enemies will walk under their heavily grunting teammates without looking up once.
19 DETECTIVE VISION
In addition to Predator Mode, Spider-Man cribs Batman's "Detective Vision," an X-Ray style reading of the world that highlights objectives and points of interest. Detective Vision is a trope common to most modern games, whether they make sense or not. Spidey's Spider-Detective Vision, for instance, is implied to be a part of his mask's heads-up display. What is weird though is that while playing as Miles Morales or Mary Jane, both characters have Detective Vision.
This design choice isn't necessarily bad, as Detective Vision primarily helps the player progress through the story, serving as a subtle hint button. Considering that the MJ sections are the worst parts of Spider-Man, the fact that we have a "get the MJ mission over with" button is most appreciated.
18 HOSTAGE SITUATION
Let's be honest, the sections where you play as Mary Jane are the worst parts of Spider-Man. Just like the comparably terrible Bruce Banner sections from Hulk games, Mary Jane's missions have her relying on stealth tactics in super dangerous environments. Evidently, MJ is sneakier than Solid Snake in a box factory, as she infiltrates Tombstone's chop-shop, a Sable military base and Mayor of New York Norman Osborn's penthouse in Osborn Tower.
Likewise, Mary Jane blatantly has a conversation with Spider-Man through an earpiece, despite her being held hostage by Demons in Grand Central Station. MJ provides Spidey with some detailed reconnaissance before clicking up and down the Tennessee marble staircases in Beatle boots.
17 FRIENDLY FIRE
One of the first lessons you learn in Spider-Man is to take advantage of friendly fire. Enemies f0r instance basically throw grenades for the sole purpose of you web-throwing it back at them. Likewise, the easiest way to beat the Scorpion and Rhino boss battle is tricking them into harming one another. Despite this reliance on friendly fire, however, basic enemies take no damage from bullets, rocket-propelled grenades, and Molotov cocktails.
We can understand this design choice, as Spider-Man is rated T for Teenagers, so no one besides Uncle Ben and Mile Morales's dad can die. Also, considering that most of these crossfires occur when Spidey is perfectly dodging, the digital blood would technically be on Spider-Man's hands.
16 SUPERHERO LANDING
Indubitably the best part of Spider-Man is its web-slinging mechanics – the best web-slinging since 2004's Spider-Man 2. Part of the reason why the web-slinging is so fun is that the game's physics engine cheats a bit, pushing Spidey forward during particularly low swinging arcs to avoid hitting the ground, ensuring that Spider-Man doesn't suffer an embarrassing passing while chasing after a pigeon.
While this physics fudging makes the game better, it also prevents Spider-Man from taking any fall damage. Spidey can dive off of the top of The Empire State Building and hit the ground in a perfect superhero landing-pose without taking any damage whatsoever. Speaking of hitting the ground...
15 STICK AROUND
One of the coolest parts of Spider-Man's fighting system is aerial combat, enabling Spidey to launch combatants with a single button press. Combine this airborne combat with a digital Manhattan, and you'll inevitably find yourself throwing everyone off rooftops. Spider-Man is supposed to be a non-lethal protector, however, so he can't just chuck villains to their doom. Fortunately, when an enemy would have experienced a fatal fall, they are automatically webbed to a surface.
Mind you, some missions will actually reward you for knocking enemies off rooftops. Sure, you've got multiple criminals stuck along skyscrapers with webbing that dissolves in mere hours, but how else are we supposed to earn enough crime tokens in order to buy that sweet retro comic costume?
14 BACKPACK ATTACK
While we're on the subject of collecting tokens, there are seven forms of currency used to upgrade Spidey's arsenal. The most common token is acquired by collecting 55 of Peter's webbed up backpacks from his high school days. How did Peter manage to not only lose so many backpacks over the course of four years, but also afford so many backpacks?
An explanation comes from one backpack containing the Wilson Fisk Science Award that Peter had won in school. Though Peter refused Fisk's "dirty" prize money, he did accept the "lifetime supply of backpacks" portion of the prize. As a science award this seems perfect for Spidey, but pretty terrible for most nerds. Also, you could've just used the money to buy backpacks, Peter.
13 THE HALLOWEEN PARTY
One early mission has Spider-Man crashing Empire State University's annual Halloween bash. Though fictional, Empire State University is totally an amalgam of Columbia University and NYU. Despite these liberal arts origins, however, ESU's Halloween party is filled with rowdy students and faculty decked out in homemade costumes of Spider-Man's greatest enemies. We may love cosplay, but we've also never spent a week working on a Joseph Stalin mirror maze.
Dressing up as literal, real-life super-villains is in super-bad taste, especially for a fictional Ivy League University. Playing Devil's Advocate, we don't live in a world of continuous costumed criminal threats, so perhaps dressing up as super-powered mercenaries like Scorpion serves as a sort of coping mechanism. Speaking of Scorpion...
12 SCORPION'S SCORE
To entice his cohorts into joining his Sinister Six, Dr. Octopus offers a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to each villain. For Rhino, Otto devised a means of removing Aleksei from his pachyderm prison. Otto also cures Vulture's spinal cancer, which would seem more scientifically significant than designing metal tentacles, if Otto wasn't having a problem with tentacle-madness.
What makes no sense is that Otto offers to expunge Scorpion's criminal record. Yes, scouring the criminal records of a world renown mercenary in an irremovable puke-green suit of arachnid power-armor should be downright impossible. Mind you, we're well aware of Electro's dream of becoming a being of pure energy. At least Electro's desires make sense in a world that operates on comic book physics.
11 DOC OCK'S PLANS
Doctor Octopus is no fool. Sure, he may be unable to solve simple puzzles, but Otto Octavius knows not to just leave your master plan laying on a table. He leaves his master plan in invisible ink laying on a table. This ink can only be read under a special light, found right next to the map. One electric web-shot later and Spider-Man knows Otto's plans.
Mind you, this map could have been replaced with simple text messages like, "Scorpion hits Central Park." Furthermore, on the map is a triple-underlined "Icarus" with the note: "Li to secure D.B. anti serum!" Now Spidey knows which Sinister Sixth he needs to fight in order to get the cure for the Devil's Breath virus.
10 MR. NEGATIVE'S PLANS
Spider-Man villains have a proclivity for incriminating themselves. Take Martin Li, whose private journal is the only item in his desk at F.E.A.S.T. This journal outlines Li's criminal activities, noting "Things will happen so quickly if I give the word. My men will claim Fisk's arms, his explosives... his secrets. We'll use that strength to teach Norman true pain."
What's bizarre is that Li uses a key as a bookmark that unlocks his secret crime room, fully accessible from his office. Li thought ahead by designing this secret room as a burning room, booby-trapping it to destroy all evidence and curious interlopers. Li covers his tracks, and yet keeps his super-incriminating journal in his regular office.
9 NORMAN OSBORN'S PLANS
Admittedly, it's hard to organically give a story's protagonist access to a villain's diabolical plans. Most Star Wars prequels, for instance, has someone being at just the right place at the right time to overhear a villain outlining their schemes. Spider-Man takes a more deliberate approach towards exposition when Spidey breaks into Norman Osborn's office during the "Spider-Hack" mission.
Norman basically has a non-password protected powerpoint of his illicit plans, with slides walking you through his schemes with detailed bullet points. One bullet point in particular straight-up acknowledges that this is all super-illegal: "MAINTAIN SECRECY. If this gets out, PR nightmare, could bring down all of Oscorp." Why even include that bullet point? Furthermore, who is this presentation for, anyway?
8 OTTO'S GIFT
While we're on the subject of coincidentally good timing, right after you solve Ock's map "puzzle," Dr. Octopus Skypes in to inform Spider-Man of a parting gift: a case filled with C4. Ignoring the fact that a smarter super-villain would've just triggered the bomb, how did Otto know that Spider-Man was still alive? When they last saw one another, Otto was throwing Spider-Man's battered, unconscious body into the East River after an impromptu prison riot. How did Otto know that Spidey had survived their earlier scuffle?
Part of this is again a design choice, as you can no longer access the Sinister Six hideout after the bomb is triggered. Likewise, this might count as a smart move on Octavius' part, as the bomb likely destroyed the litany of incriminating voice recorders he left lying around.
7 THE SPIDER-PERSON'S MAILBOX YOU ARE TRYING TO REACH IS FULL
While working your day job at Octavius Industries or sleuthing about the Sinister Six's lair, you most likely noticed that Otto Octavius has left a plethora of voice recorders laying around, oftentimes mere feet away from one another. What's baffling is that despite designing neurally controlled tentacles utilizing parts acquired from A.I.M., Doctor Octopus still relies on so many antiquated voice recorders.
Sure, one could consider this multitude of audio-logs as Otto being absent-minded or eccentric. Octavius Industries is so financially destitute however that Otto can't even pay Peter for his all of his hard work deciphering puzzles. All of that scientific grant money must have gone towards more buying more tape recorders.
6 THE SCREWBALL CHALLENGE
Utilizing the Internet for evil, the streamer super-villain Screwball makes Spider-Man take The Screwball Challenge to save a "kidnapping victim." After disarming some of Screwball's fans and their bombs, Spider-Man discovers that the "victim" was actually Screwball. After another fight with her followers, a handcuffed Screwball asks "What are you going to charge me with? I didn't actually do anything – it was all my fans." The policemen arresting Screwball reluctantly agree.
Granted, our knowledge of litigation primarily stems from Daredevil comics, but Screwball failed to report to the police that her fans planted bombs. Likewise, Screwball didn't actively dissuade her fans from assaulting Spidey, technically making her an accessory to a crime, or at the very least liable for inciting disorderly conduct.
5 PRISON BREAK
Spider-Man quells a prison break on Ryker's Island, discovering that the inmates have raided the armory, fitting themselves with kevlar and rocket launchers. Spider-Man wonders: "Who thought it was a good idea to bring rockets to a prison?"
Mind you, these rockets weren't shipped over to fight the Rhino. Rhino is being held on The Raft. Incidentally, J. Jonah Jameson brings up a good point: "Apparently last night [Rhino] almost escaped from his cell in The Raft...They assure me he has been located to a 'more secure' cell. Now I'm no expert on super-max prisons, but isn't the whole point of them is that there isn't anything else more secure? If there's a more secure cell, why wasn't he in it?!"
4 PRISON UNIFORM
Despite escaping from Ryker's Island, escaped convicts still wear their bright orange prison garb, in addition to housing in ramshackle bases with only other escaped felons. It's as if these escaped convicts just want to go back to jail, which could be a commentary on the nature of the super-prison industrial complex, but is probably more about giving Spidey an easy means of knowing which guys he should be punching in the face.
Detective Watanabe offers an explanation during a Prisoner Base mission, explaining that all of the convict gangs stuck together after the prison break. We understand gang loyalty and strength in numbers, but it's almost as if these escaped convicts can't wait to return to incarceration.
3 THE SPIDER-BODY ELECTRIC
One of the most useful Spider-suit upgrades discharges an electric current to the first person that hits Spider-Man during a fight. This defense matrix works not only on close-range attacks, but also on small arms fire, inexplicably following the arc of the bullet to the distanced attacker, even if they're rocking a jetpack.
What's weird is that the designers almost knew that long arms fire shouldn't logically trigger the electrical discharge, as the defense matrix doesn't work on explosives or sniper rifle rounds. This "bug" is more of a "feature" however, as getting hit by a machine gun during a brawl is probably the easiest, non-explosive/Rhino-shaped means of finishing off Spider-Man.
2 MASTER THE TASKS OF THE TASKMASTER
Easily the toughest parts of Spider-Man are Taskmaster's challenges. Taskmaster has set up four kinds of testing centers around Manhattan in order to study Spider-Man's moves, ranging from combat and stealth to chasing after a drone and deactivating laptop bombs. If you start a bomb challenge, Taskmaster marks bombs that have been planted around the city, mere seconds away from exploding.
Ideally, reaching the bombs in time should hone Spidey's traversal skills. The problem is, these explosives only activate if Spidey actives the challenge box. Ergo, if Spider-Man doesn't try to master the tasks of Taskmaster, then the bombs will never detonate. Ultimately, Spider-Man has a War Games scenario on his hands: the only way to win is not to play.
1 NO SURVIVORS
During the mission, "And The Award Goes To..." a Norman Osborn rally celebrating Miles Morales' father is attacked by Mr. Negative and his Demons detonating explosives. In the subsequent horror, Mr. Negative orders his men to ensure that there are no survivors. You then control Miles, who has to sneak his way through the carnage – narrowly avoiding Demons along the way – to reach his father. Upon reaching his dad, Miles is ambushed by a Demon.
Mr. Negative calls back his soldier. Furthermore, Mr. Negative can see that Miles has survived. It's perplexing that Negative would deliberately let Miles live, especially when this negative-energy-sword wielding Demon was literally the length of a sword away from offing Miles.