www.cbr.com

Thor: 15 Dark Secrets That Disney Wants To Keep Hidden From MCU Fans

Thor is unequivocally not only of the most powerful Avengers in both the MCU and the comics, but he comes from a world more colorful than nearly any other characters’. However, in spite of his immense power, the Thunder God struggled to become an A-list hero. Up until fairly recently, Thor remained on the sidelines as something of a B-list character. The general public wasn’t terribly aware of him until Marvel Studios’ Thor. Since Thor: Ragnaroks terrific success, Thor’s popularity has skyrocketed to unprecedented levels.

That said, there are many aspects to both Thor’s personality and his history that Disney would rather you not know. See, despite being known as the heroic God of Thunder, Thor’s life, spanning millennia, hasn’t always been sunshine and roses. In fact, he’s committed a few heinous deeds, even if their origin was one of nobility that would make many people frown (at the very least) should said secrets ever become general knowledge. Right now, we have a very family-friendly Thor, and not a Thor who occupies his time getting blackout drunk and spending time with wenches. Today at CBR we’re looking at 15 of the worst things Thor has done that Disney would be happier with you not knowing.

15 SIDED WITH ULTRON

The horrible lovechild of Hank Pym and mad science, Ultron is an Omega Level threat of an android. Ultron yearns only for the destruction of mankind and to overcome his various daddy issues. He is one of the Avengers' most feared adversaries. Constantly trying to take over the world, in one very possible future, Ultron did just that. In Avengers #31, after the Time Gem from the Infinity Gauntlet jettisons the Avengers into the future, they arrive 422 years from their origin point.

They emerge in a world ruled completely by Ultron. In short order, Earth’s Mightiest Heroes are subdued and held prisoner. When greeted by their captors, the Avengers, and Thor especially, are shocked to see that an older version of the God of Thunder has sided with the evil technological creature. Future Thor reasons that he serves whoever sits on Asgard’s throne, even if it is Ultron.

14 JOINED HYDRA

There are few mortals Thor would ever consider taking orders from. Steve Rogers, aka Captain America is one of them. Captain America’s heroism is known throughout the cosmos, he commands respect wherever he goes from whomever he meets. Thor would follow the Captain to the gates of hell and back; the general thinking is Steve Rogers knows best. This lead to Thor being manipulated into became a member of Hydra. He was not alone, as most of the Avengers followed evil Captain America on the path to neo-Nazism. The idea that Cap would lead them astray never crossed their minds.

The God of Thunder joined Hydra Cap because he genuinely believed he had to do so to protect those he loved. It didn’t help matters when Captain America stole his hammer and beat him up. Yet, the fact remains, Thor has been rather easily persuaded to become a Nazi not once, but twice.

13 CONQUERED THE EARTH

In 2003’s Thor #68, the God of Thunder became the Lord of Earth. The story jumped 17 years into the future, featuring an Asgard and New York that were both in ruin on a account of a global war between humanity and the gods. As a result, Thor rules over the entire planet. He has a son with the Enchantress, makes Loki his personal head of security, and orders the demolition of the Avengers. Additionally, all babies are required to be registered at birth.

Despite the oppressive nature of his rule, Thor’s regime lasts for hundreds of years and things like famine and poverty are eradicated. It’s pretty much a paradise, unless you account for robbing humanity of their free will. Thankfully, things get reversed with the help of some time travel. Present day Thor is given just enough knowledge to push him in the right direction.

12 GOT HELA PREGNANT

The events of Marvel’s Ultimatum mini-series left the Ultimate Universe in tatters. Numerous heroes and villains died; at one point Thor sacrificed himself to save the life of Valkyrie. Because of this, he ends up getting stuck in Valhalla. Ultimate Thor’s fate was left to obscurity until 2010’s follow-up Ultimate Comics: New Ultimates series. We see Thor in the afterlife, greeted by Hela, the Goddess of Death. She lets him choose between sleeping with her and siring a child or spending the rest of eternity in Hell.

Hela is pregnant one day later. This quick development occurred due to time working differently in Valhalla. Unfortunately, Valkyrie witnessed the whole thing and wasn’t pleased. In the MCU Hela and Thor are brother and sister. You can imagine how the pair sleeping together would generate a whole litany of problems Disney would like to avoid.

READ MORE: Characters Who Slept With Thor

11 NUKED CHINA

Back in the early days of comics, some superheroes were totally okay with taking the nuclear option when dealing with enemies. Thor, a Norse God, wasn’t and isn’t known for having a tactful approach. That is still to say he probably shouldn’t have nuked China that one time. In Journey Into Mystery #93 Thor doesn’t have any godly enemies to battle, so he decides to take on Communist China. Because why not? After literally bringing the hammer down on the Red Army, the Chinese respond, rather appropriately considering the circumstances. They retaliate by creating the supervillain Radioactive Man and sending him to destroy New York City.

Radioactive Man is a mild nuisance to the God of Thunder. Thor summons a tornado that carries Radioactive Man back to China despite the villains warning that doing so will cause a nuclear explosion. Thor does it anyway, nonchalantly killing millions.

10 TRIED TO END THE ULTIMATES

Following Ultimatum, many of the world’s greatest heroes and villains were left dead. One such hero was Thor, who sacrificed himself to save Valkyrie. In trying to recover from their horrible losses, the Ultimates, now made up of Captain America, Iron Man, Hawkeye, and a couple others, try forming a new team. All seems well and good until Loki and the Enchantress invade Earth (again) and turn the female members of the Ultimates against their teammates.

In the final battle, Loki kills Valkyrie, just as Thor returns from the underworld. The God of Thunder, absolutely berserk with rage, thirsts for revenge against everyone he feels has slighted him, including his former friends. Captain America, Iron Man, Zarda, and Hawkeye all have to fight for their lives until Valkyrie returns from the dead and calms the maddened god.

9 SIDED WITH HITLER

All joking aside, there are few people in the history of the world worse than Adolf Hitler. Having a superhero side with him is a big no-no, especially in today’s world. To that end, Captain America and friends were shocked to see a certain thunder god helping the Nazis try and kill Joseph Stalin in The Invaders #32,

It’d be one thing if Thor was mind-controlled, but nope, he’s just totally on board with Hitler’s plan. All it took was briefly talking about Teutonic glory, a shared appreciation of Wagner, and boom, Hitler and Thor were friends. Later, Thor realizes he’s made a huge mistake when he overhears Hitler being anti-Semitic and threatening to summon an army of trolls. Upon hearing this disconcerting news, he promptly brings Joseph Stalin back to life (who he moments before killed with lightning), erases everyone’s memories, and flies home.

8 GOT ONE OF HIS PET GOATS INTO TROUBLE

Two of Thor’s best friends are a pair of super goats. Toothgnasher and Toothgrinder are their names and they are enchanted livestock with the ability to travel faster than light, fly through space, and regenerate if they get eaten…all of which happens a surprising amount. For eons, these goats have served as his friends, travelling apparatuses, and even back-up in tough fights.

In Thor #700, Toothgnasher met his grisly end. The goat was instructed by Thor to guard the Mjolnir from the Ultimate Universe. At the site of the hammer, the monstrous Mangog appears, preparing to attack Asgard. Toothnasher, still following Thor’s instructions, but also aware that someone has to try and stop Mangog, charges into battle…and is quickly decapitated. Take better care of your things, Thor! That way innocent goats don’t die in your stead!

7 ENDED LOKI

Thor and Loki have come to represent what it means to really not get along your brother. Still underneath all that underlying tension and plots to destroy the world, there’s the feeling that the two gods genuinely care for one another and their various shenanigans won’t leave the other dead. That was until Thor straight up murdered Loki.

In Thor #432 Loki kidnaps the son of Eric Masterson (Thor’s new Earthly body) and threatens to kill the boy unless his Eric gives him Mjolnir. Eric gives Loki Mjolnir, but not in the way the God of Mischief was expecting. First, tired of Loki’s nonsense, Thor practically beats the Norse right out of his half-brother, but shows Loki mercy by not killing him. Loki, completely engaged, kills someone else nearby. Maddened, Thor literally rips the life-force right from Loki, vaporizing him.

6 HIS '90s OUTFIT

The'90s were a tricky time for superheroes, if only because artists and writers wanted to make them look more extreme and hardcore. Thor was not exempt from such a transformation. During the early parts of the decade, the mighty thunder god experienced a rather simple, but simultaneously awful, makeover. Not only did he start fighting crime shirtless, but he would occasionally dress like a glam rocker.

With an exposed midriff, useless chain, and four-foot long hair extensions, Thor’s threads were bafflingly hideous. Inexplicably, his shirt and armor were done away with and he was left in tight leather pants, long unwashed-looking hair, and no shirt. Going about like it was no big thing, Thor continued his adventures, oblivious to the fact that this torso was now completely bare. Already missing an eye in the MCU, a ‘90s metal outfit wouldn’t do the Thor franchise any favors.

5 TRIED TO DESTROY THE UNIVERSE

Everyone has bad days, but not quite like Thor. See, when the God of Thunder goes on a bender and becomes certifiably insane, he gives a new name to crazy. In "Blood and Thunder", Thor comes down with a bad case of Warrior’s Madness. From there, he backhands Lady Sif, nearly kills Beta Ray Bill, Drax the Destroyer and other cosmic superheroes. To make matters worse, he steals the Power Gem and tries to destroy Asgard. Silver Surfer, the Infinity Watch, Doctor Strange, and Thanos (of all people) team-up to take him down, with Odin has to invade his son’s mind to restore his sanity.

The reason behind Thor’s lunacy is long, convoluted, and involves the hero making an evil alter ego for himself that becomes the living embodiment of Thor’s Warrior Madness.

4 REALIZED HE WAS UNWORTHY

Among other things, Thor is honorable and a true hero. It is, after all, it’s why he can wield Mjolnir. The hammer’s history is long and impressive, but what’s significant is few people in the cosmos can lift it. The idea of what it means to be “worthy” is obscure, but after the events in "Original Sin", Thor was left in a state of disgrace.

READ MORE: Secrets About Mjolnir, Hammer Of Thor

In an epic battle with Nick Fury over a bunch of stuff involving the Watcher’s eyes and universal secrets, Fury whispers several words to Thor and the thunder god is immediately robbed of his enchanted mallet. Later, readers learned Fury told Thor “Gorr Was Right.” Gorr, the God Butcher, had tried to kill Thor and all the gods, insisting deities were vain and vengeful. The realization was enough to make Thor understand that he, and all gods, are unworthy of the power they wield.

3 BECAME A DRUNK AFTER BECOMING UNWORTHY

After Thor lost his hammer Mjolnir, he went through something of an existential crisis. Emotionally devastated by the lost of his own worthiness, Thor goes on something of a bender. He always considered Mjolnir an extension of himself, so to lose his blessed weapon was a heavy blow. First, Thor decides to stop going by “Thor” and instead orders people to call him “Odinson”. Next, after hopping about the universe looking for a new hammer and effectively failing, he becomes something of a drunk.

More than happy to spend his days in a tavern drinking his sorrows away, Odinson falls to his lowest point and seems absolutely okay with it. With Jane Foster as the new Thor, Odinson didn’t see an overwhelming need to fight bad guys. Luckily, he’s slowly coming out of his depression and is on the road to heroism once more.

2 ALMOST STARTED WORLD WAR III

Thor might be a hero, but that doesn’t always mean he always thinks a situation through. A warrior before a diplomat, Thor has applied a scorched earth policy more than once when dealing with troubling issues. In Thor #58, the God of Thunder responds to entreaties from a foreign people under the rule of a horrific dictatorship. Thor immediately instructs Asgard to attack the dictator and his armies; though his intentions are heroic, he’s destabilizing the entire region.

As a result, he’s setting up the world for World War III and also playing into the hands of the villainous Doctor Doom. Iron Man and Captain America are called in to stop Thor from escalating matters, but Thor responds by nearly killing his friends and getting this close to having the nukes go flying.

1 TOLD JANE HE'D CHEATED ON HER WHEN SHE HAD CANCER

There’s no two ways about it. With his flowing locks of golden hair and rippling physique, not to mention awesome powers, Thor has no problem drawing the attention of ladies. His list of partners is longer than the Midgard Serpent. Heck, he once slept with his own subconscious….don’t ask how that works! Despite all these ladies, it’s his relationship with Jane Foster that’s been most enduring. Eventually the two would go their separate ways, Foster would be diagnosed with cancer, yet she would also become the new God of Thunder once Thor lost his worthiness.

Thor didn’t take this well. Just to be a jerk, he lashed out at Jane by bringing up all the times he cheated on her when they were together. Thor’s done a lot of bad things, but spiting a woman suffering from cancer, is the hero at his worst.

NEXT: Things The MCU Got Wrong About Thor

More in Lists