Riverdale is one of those shows that are simply impossible to describe out of context. With a breakneck pace and recently an "anything goes" kind of attitude to the plot lines, Riverdale never fails to be entertaining. Maybe not always good, but entertaining nonetheless. For a show that started with a murder of a high schooler, it has gone in directions that would be unheard of in Season 1. It practically has gotten as crazy as Twin Peaks, but without the cosmic horror... sort of.
It's the kind of guilty pleasure show that makes viewers wonder what any of this has to do with the original Archie comics. Across its five seasons thus far, there have been countless confounding plotlines fans still aren't sure actually happened. And trying to explain them to someone out of context leads to nothing but more confusion and hilarity. Not that context really makes that much of a difference.
*Warning*: The following article contains spoilers for Riverdale's Seasons 1 to 5.
10 That Time Archie Went To Jail & Joined A Fight Club
Season 3 saw Archie getting thrown into jail under false accusations and joining a Fight Club. The prison plotline was easily one of Archie's weirdest arcs. Here, viewers get iconic scenes such as the cheerleaders singing outside the prison and Archie dropping his ever hilarious "Then you haven't learned the triumphs and defeats--the epic highs and lows--of high school football. But you'll learn."
While in prison, Archie somehow found himself thrown into a prisoners' Fight Club where rich people of Riverdale would come to gamble on which high schooler could beat the other up the most. Honestly though, for Season 3, this was a surprisingly mild distraction in a larger plotline.
9 That Time Everyone Joined An Organ Harvesting Cult
Cult moves in. Cult appears friendly. Cult gets everyone to join and then steals their organs? They even made the Riverdale High Principal lose a hand. Yikes. It was a baffling twist on the true purpose of this cult.
But at least it gave viewers the iconic scene of Betty showing Cheryl the harvested organs and then subsequently leading to Cheryl's badass fight out of the cult with her girlfriend. And the head cultist tried to escape on a rocket? Yeah. That happened.
8 That Time The Gang Went Through D&D-Inspired Death Games
Season 3's grand finale found the main gang playing a series of death games orchestrated by Penelope Blossom and Betty's fake half-brother, Chic (who later dates her actual half-brother?!).
In these Griffins and Gargoyle (The D&D of Riverdale) themed games, Archie fights a guy to death, Veronica drinks poison, Jughead fights Chic, and Betty shoots off her father's fingers.
7 That Time Jughead's Sister Stalked The Entire Town
Jughead's sister Jellybean was not getting enough attention from her brother. She is sad he is leaving for college. So what does this middle-schooler do? She gets her friends together to make videos of her siblings murdering people.
To top it off, she goes around town stalking everyone and sends them VHS stalker tapes. She just really misses her brother. It's what any sister would do in her shoes.
6 That Time Archie Fought A Bear
In one of the stranger plotlines, Archie is run out of town and is forced to go into hiding from Hiram Lodge, Veronica's dad. At this time, he becomes a park ranger in Canada.
He gets attacked by a bear and has near-death hallucinations of his friends and family. Why a bear? We still aren't sure. At this point, Archie is a 17-year-old on the run hiding in Canada from the Riverdale mafia. And this is a one-episode thing. The bear is only referenced ever again in passing jokes.
5 That Time Jughead Faked His Own Death
Season 4's major Jughead plotline surrounded his murder by the prep school students wanting to kill him for a publishing deal and framing Archie, Betty, and Veronica in the progress. However, in a *shocking* twist, it turns out Jughead isn't dead.
No, good old Jughead just faked his death to get back at the prep schoolers and prove he could write the best unsolvable mystery. He leaves everyone so speechless by his act of fake deathing that he makes his professor commit suicide by jumping out the window. What a charming lad.
4 That Time Cheryl Kept Her Brother's Dead Body In Her House
If there's one character who can never remain in his grave, it's Jason Blossom. This is mostly due to the fact that Cheryl keeps feeling the need to unbury her brother at least once a season. And yes, she has done it more than once in a season.
Cheryl might still be going through unfinished trauma after seeing her entire extended family get killed in one way or another, but there are better ways to deal with that grief than graverobbing. Riverdale is bound to have a therapist somewhere in town.
3 That Time Cheryl Tried To Have A Swingers' Party
Cheryl is the bringer of chaos on Riverdale. When Cheryl enters the room, viewers know that with her will come something to ruin everyone else's day. That's why she hosted a swingers' party at her mansion.
In an elaborate ploy to get back with Toni, she made everyone come over, but everyone flat out refuses. Maybe a swinger's party isn't the best way to get back your pregnant girlfriend.
2 That Time Toni Almost Had A Threesome In The Auditorium
The strangest scene in Riverdale's Heather's episode was Toni deciding to have a threesome in the auditorium to get back at Cheryl. Toni felt that it was best to get two random people, strip them down, and then chicken out in the end.
Were they not worried someone would walk in on them? They are literally on-stage.
1 That Time Jughead Took Mushrooms & Got Abducted By Moth Men
Season 5 currently has an ongoing moth men plotline. Because what else could Riverdale need than to add aliens into their plotlines? Jughead gets into writer's block and to get out of that he locks himself to a table in a bunker and takes mushrooms.
It's what artists do. At least he managed to write an entire book before the hallucinations set in.