Even as Batman, The Joker and other costumed characters fight for their place in Times Square, a certain willy silly nilly old bear has found himself banned from a playground in Poland.
According to the Croatian Times, Winnie-the-Pooh's troubles began not with a honeypot but rather when officials in the small town of Tuszyn (87 miles southwest of Warsaw) tried to settle on a mascot for the public playground. When talk turned to A.A. Milne's beloved character, the town council's more conservative members protested.
What followed was the Hundred Acre Wood version of swiftboating -- Poohsticking, maybe? -- as he was accused of being "inappropriately dressed" and of "dubious sexuality." Yes, during a town council meeting, that was thankfully recorded by one of the members and then leaked to local media.
"The problem with that bear is it doesn’t have a complete wardrobe," said council member Ryszard Cichy. "It is half-naked, which is wholly inappropriate for children."
Well, it's a problem, at least, another councilor had a theory as to why Pooh doesn't wear pants. "It doesn’t wear underpants because it doesn’t have a sex," the anonymous official proposed. "It’s a hermaphrodite."
It's at that point the discussion really turned outlandish, and bizarrely personal, with councilor Hanna Jachimska casting scorn on Milne himself. "This is very disturbing but can you imagine!" she said. "The author was over 60 and cut his [Pooh's] testicles off with a razor blade because he had a problem with his identity."
Although a Polish fictional bear -- fully dressed, and presumably with testicles? -- was proposed as a suitable playground mascot, but the council has yet to make a decision. Seriously, what kind of stuff bears do they have in Tuszyn?