WARNING: This article contains spoilers for Old Lady Harley #2 by Frank Tieri, Eva De La Cruz, Dave Sharpe and Inaki Miranda, on sale now.
When it comes to weddings in the DC Universe, 2018 has left a bad taste in fans' mouths. This is all due to the failed BatCat nuptials, which saw Selina Kyle leave a heartbroken Bruce Wayne at the altar. Folks were wondering why the powers-that-be couldn't just let them be, especially after things didn't work out with Talia al Ghul, but alas, DC prefers a bitter, angry Bat.
Well, in the post-apocalyptic alternate reality found in Old Lady Harley, fans can take solace in knowing the publisher didn't hold back on the weddings. As Issue #2 reveals, there were a lot. Only it wasn't just Catwoman who got hitched, it was Harley Quinn as well, and what makes this revelation even more intriguing is that both women were in multiple (and, yes, very weird) marriages.
As Harley investigates the potential return of Joker, she partners with Red Tool (a spoof of Deadpool), heading to the Batcave to meet Batman. However, this isn't your typical Bruce, he's a very old man and seems to be a new iteration on the Murder Machine. As Harley presses him for details on the Clown Prince of Crime's return, Batman claims he'd know if the villain ever came back. They go back and forth, and Harley ends up getting distracted by Nightwing's costume in Bruce's glass case. Then and there we find out she was actually Dick Grayson's ex-wife, paying homage to their hookup in the Batman and Harley Quinn animated movie where she took him hostage and they slept together.
But with Dick dead, Harley's focus quickly shifts back to how Joker -- a man they both believe dead -- could be resurrected in Gotham. Batman disputes this, pointing her in the direction of the Arkham Home for the Criminally Insane Retirees, to Catwoman, who was apparently in Las Vegas years ago when Joker committed "suicide by cop."
When she and Red Tool get there and chat with the Cat, the love list gets way out of hand, as we find out Harley was wed to a long line of people. This includes Killer Croc (which makes sense, as they probably spent a lot of time in the Suicide Squad), Catwoman herself (which could be from working together in the Gotham City Sirens or Birds of Prey) and even Poison Ivy. The latter's not that big a surprise, however, because they did share a relationship in the main DC Universe and even secretly got hitched in the Injustice realm.
But as Red Tool asks, is there anyone in this universe Harley wasn't married to? It's a valid question and, honestly, at this point we're shocked she hasn't married anyone from the Trinity. She managed to get one up on Batman, though, because clearly Selina found her more worthy of marrying than Bruce. As both ladies banter and discuss the past, including their love affair, we find out they share one more common denominator: Catwoman is actually currently married to Croc. We have no clue how this unlikely relationship started, but they're clearly in love, even in their old age.
As Selina agrees to join Harley and Red Tool to teleport to Vegas to piece together if Joker's really back, or if it's someone's sick prank, Croc volunteers to go as well to keep an eye on his beloved. It's a romantic gesture and really leaves us wondering who else got hitched in this reality, because from what we've seen so far, marriage was clearly a big fad.