Romance has been a key component of superhero comics since the debut of Clark Kent and Lois Lane 80 years ago. Now, you can’t click on any comic fan's social media page without a “relationship goals” caption above a panel of Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy or, God forbid, an edgy romantic quote pasted over a photo of the Joker and Harley Quinn.
But despite these big name relationships often taking the fandom spotlight, many of the relationships are -- by any reasonable standard -- extremely secretive and often unhealthy unions. There is, however, one comic book pairing that actually earns the right to be called a relationship goal: Two characters whose love for each other has been a cornerstone of their existence since the very start, without any of the drama and break-ups and unfortunate misunderstandings that other couples suffer. They may not be featured as much as the others, but at a time when lasting superhero relationships (let alone marriages) seem few and far between, they've shown that they can defeat any threat together.
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Their names? Mister Miracle and Big Barda.
This isn't merely my opinion; several articles from Psychology Today have listed the necessary ingredients for a healthy romantic relationship, and they show pretty clearly that, for almost 50 years, Scott and Barda Free have been able to check each box. According to experts, one of the biggest factors often noted in relationship psychology is the importance of trust. While many relationships start (and often proceed) with a level of secrecy between heroes and their partners, Scott and Barda have given each other a level of trust seldom seen in superhero comics. Barda originated as the leader and most feared member of the Female Furies, the strike force of alien despot Darkseid. It seems unlikely that the person such a figure would fall in love with would be Scott Free -- son of Darkseid's mortal enemy Highfather, and raised by Darkseid in attempt to bring peace between the two. But through the complicated history of Kirby's Fourth World Saga, Scott and Barda find comfort within their shared experience of being raised under the dark rule of Apokolips, and build trust through the shared adversities of growing up in the abusive and brutal clutches of Granny Goodness’ orphanage -- a ruthless facility designed to train Darkseid’s most elite soldiers from childhood.
During the Kirby-era "New Gods" series, where the backstories of both characters were first brought to light, Scott reveals that being with Barda is the first time in his life that he has been able to be himself without building up walls around himself. That's a theme that continues in more recent years with Tom King and Mitch Gerads' current Mister Miracle series. The emotions of both characters are especially high, as they're fighting both mental illness as well as Darkseid's armies, their own repressed childhoods, and the continued attempt for oppressive rule by Darkseid through Scott’s brother Orion. In the face of near death, persecution, and even themselves, both characters rely on the trust within their love to steer them the right way, no matter the cost.
But with that trust comes a level of believing in someone. Not just what they say or what they do, but who they are as a person -- after all, you can’t have trust without standing by a person's true self, right? Luckily, both Scott and Barda have that kind of trust in spades. Different iterations of the characters have shown different sides to the characters through the years, but one thing stays the same: They are accepting of each others’ flaws, quirks, and strengths.
During the J.M. DeMatteis-written run of Mister Miracle (as well as their featured roles in Justice League International, which DeMatteis co-wrote), there was a shift to a more lighthearted, often domestic, view of their relationship: Barda is often very feisty and domineering both when it comes to making decisions in battle alongside her husband and others, but also in terms of the relationship itself. While many men would stereotypically roll their eyes when their wife bothers them about not having enough time together because of work, Scott instead listens and takes her criticisms to heart with a smile and -- more often than not -- a goofy quip in return. Even on the field of battle against the most fearsome enemies, Barda is tenacious and fiery above all else, and is always encouraged by Scott fighting at her side.
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There is a sense of seeing her spirited personality -- which, by some, could be considered a flaw -- as just another thing to love in the eyes of Scott. But that dynamic is certainly not one-sided. Barda is noted for being protective of Scott’s safety and well-being since the beginning of their union. In recent issues of Mister Miracle, the examples of love within acceptance continue as Barda is unrelenting in her support of the mental struggle that pains Scott. Through suicide attempts, questions of sanity, and deciding factors of both family and fate, Barda is affectionate, nurturing, and understanding of Scott’s actions without question. They both grow within each other and lift each other up at their highest and lowest points because they are who they are and they love each other for all of it.
Don’t get me wrong, though -- every couple fights. Even the healthiest of relationships have an argument sometimes, and Mister Miracle and Big Barda are no different. What makes the biggest difference for this particular couple? Communication, of course. Though sometimes at inopportune times, Scott and Barda have had their share of tiffs throughout their history. One that sticks out clearly is Mark Evanier and Steve Rude's Mister Miracle Special from 1987. The root of the entire story is that Scott and Barda get into a disagreement -- Barda is concerned and doesn’t want Scott risking his life with flashy escapes for money any more, despite them needing said money after Kalibak destroys their house in a brawl.
After their fight (and then, prevailing in a hostage situation against Granny Goodness), the couple lick their wounds and come together to find a compromise, both leaving the experience with a new sense of empathy of where the other is coming from. In a slew of examples of Scott and Barda working through their problems, even occasionally doing so mid-battle, there is always a sense of working towards a common goal: Coming back together to find a way.
Arguably one of the most important ingredients in any successful romantic relationship is the expression of love and affection. This doesn’t always mean physical touch, but loving words and actions. Luckily, there is never a shortage of that with Scott and Barda. Almost every issue featuring the couple shows the genuine affection they share; it’s not uncommon to find a panel of the two sharing a smile and a hug while congratulating each other on their victories or complimenting each other in passing.
Most recently, fans got to see the latest high point of their relationship together in January's Mister Miracle #6. The entire issue is a summary of all of the previous points: It begins with Barda presenting the idea of how she wants to remodel their condo together, and the issue expands from there into a full-blown back-and-forth between her and Scott about what to do with the late Oberon’s belongings -- now some of Scott’s most precious things -- since they take up so much room. They're also arguing about “wanting to be the kind of people that cook but [they] never will”, and having a very frank and open discussion about how their childhood abuse affects their actions and thinking now, all while lithely and skillfully fighting their way through a maze of traps and guards into Highfather’s chambers.
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Before entering and during a face-off with a final set of guards, Barda announces to Scott that she is pregnant (while defending herself and Scott against Lightray’s deadly beams, mind you.) Scott freezes mid-fight but is quickly by her side, breaking the silence with a tip-toe hug around her shoulders, a genuine smile, and a simple “I love you.” Sometimes, it’s just as simple as being there to back someone up and tell them that you love them. Barda and Scott have loved each other for decades and never miss a chance to prove that love isn't just for making up or making the the dark, raw moments better, but that it’s there most in the bright ones, too.
While many readers and fans use comics for escapism, superheroes are meant to be role models. The characters might be made up, but the emotions given to them can often be very, very real. They may never have been the biggest names in the ring, but when it comes to finding the comics couple to look up to, no one quite measures up to the bond of the Jack Kirby-created Mister Miracle and Big Barda. Still standing, finding a way, and still madly in love for almost fifty years. How’s that for relationship goals?