In all the years gamers have played the best-selling video game Minecraft, there has only been one question on their minds. And it isn't, "How to accomplish great builds?" or "What are the best survival techniques?" These questions pale in comparison to this one great lingering question: "What mob are readers based on their zodiac sign?"
Thankfully, while in consultation with astrologers, the secretive knowledge of the mobs has been gained.* (*This is an incredibly true and subjective fact). Readers are practically destined to read this article. However, note that if the alignment of the stars makes one sign a Creeper, it doesn't mean the reader is a creep. (It means they have anger issues).
12 An Explosive Creeper – Aries
Like Creepers, Aries are determined and ambitious individuals. Nothing stops them from achieving their goals (even if their goals entail sneaking up behind players and exploding the buildings they were working on for a week straight). This brash and bold personality might get them far in life, but if it's not carefully managed, Aries will find themselves exploding before they reach the finish line of their goals. Keep working hard to ruin an innocent player's build, Aries.
11 A Canine Companion To The Adventures – Taurus
Taurus is reliable, patient, warmhearted, and lovable. And they're also freaking cute (yes they are – oh yes they are!) Dogs in Minecraft are precious. However, because of their personality, they're also hard to protect.
Taurus always seem to throw themselves into danger, or more accurately, fall into lava if they're not kept on a leash. Furthermore, they're incredibly jealous of others. If players intend on committing to a Taurus, they better stay as their sole companion through the game.
10 Cunning And Freaky Giant Spiders – Gemini
Spiders are nervous and easily freaked-out creatures. In fact, if the game's light drops below 10, they become hostile – purely because they're so scared. However, if players can get past their initial terrifying appearance, they'll find a lot of beauty in Minecraft's spider intelligence. They're resourceful and know exactly how to reach a player. There's no hiding from them. They will find the player up high or down below, and they will get to them no matter how much the player hates them. Smart, fast, adaptable, and curious, the Minecraft spider is a lot like a Gemini.
9 Moody But Huggable Zombie – Cancer
Cancer is the moodiest sign. Like Minecraft's Zombie mobs, they are constantly groaning and complaining about being hungry. All they want is to eat a lone miner. However, at the end of the day, all a Cancer really wants is a hug. In fact, Cancers are often the best lovers out there. However, their touchiness and brain-eating tend to be a deterrence to most people. If players can look past their misunderstood natures, there's something about the undead that's surprisingly charming.
8 Generous Mooshrooms – Leo
Leos are fun guys (Geddit? Fungi?) Readers get that pun for free... However, in all seriousness, Leos are everyone's favorite rare mushroom-themed cows. Mushrooms, like Leos, are incredibly jealous. They can be sheared for mushrooms, milked for milk, eaten for meat, and turned into leather. Their versatility is one of their best traits. However, Leos are annoyingly pompous. Look at their black beady eyes judging players for not being as cool as they are. Sorry Mooshrooms, but not everyone can be as useful.
7 Shy As An Enderman – Virgo
Endermen, like Virgos, are shy and independent creatures. They're individualistic and extremely meticulous about picking up and putting down random blocks. Why? Players have yet to know, but it's best not to question a Virgo about why they do what they do.
That said, Virgos are the worst worriers, particularly about how they look. Therefore, it's best not to look Virgos in the eye, otherwise, players might find themselves letting out gruesome squeals of horror and trying to kill other players. Leaves Virgos alone. If they want to talk with players, they'll let them know.
6 The Social Villager – Libra
Libra are social butterflies. Therefore, it makes sense for them to be Minecraft Villagers. Villagers have always been the most diplomatic of all the mobs, being one of the few mobs players can trade with. They also have a clear functioning society without the player. Villagers are true individuals – able to make friends and create a sustainable society through their wit and charm. Look at their Squidward-esque faces. Who could resist being friends with a face as sexy and charming as that? As long as no Aries comes along to explode their hard-worked village, it's all plain sailing.
5 The Dragon Mob Of All Mobs – Scorpio
Scorpios are secretive and powerful individuals. It can be forgiven if most players have never fought, let alone seen the Ender Dragon in all the time they've played Minecraft. However, considering their mostly intuitive and non-personable personality, this makes a lot of sense. If there's one thing for certain, Scorpios have a magnetic personality not to be messed with. In fact, they're ready to burn any unprepared survivors alive. Seriously... enter a fight with a Scorpio unprepared and players will find themselves dead quicker than they can say, "Enderman."
4 A Freedom Loving Chicken – Sagittarius
Sagittarius love their freedom. They live life without a care in the world, merely jumping and exploring block to block. They fear nothing. As a result, they're honest and straightforward individuals with an unburdened sense of adventure. However, this causes them to be careless, which often causes them to fall to their death, get eaten, or meet an equally terrible demise. Sagittarius live by the creed, "Live hard and die young." If Sagittarius can tie themselves down to a nice, flat, uneventful piece of land, they may live a long, enjoyable egg-laying life.
3 Spooky Scary Skeletons – Capricorn
Practical, prudent, and disciplined make up the personality of a Capricorn. Like a Skeleton, they fall in line and can be trusted to shoot and attack the undesirable players mining precious resources out of the world.
However, all the lurking in caves has left Skeletons miserly and pessimistic. They never assume anyone is simply a nice traveler or cave explorer. No, they shoot and attack without question before anyone can get close enough to know them. Let those shields down a little Capricorn – let another player get close!
2 A Friendly Dolphin – Aquarius
Aquarius are the masters of the sea. Dolphins are some of the most friendly and adorable mobs in the game. There is nothing more exciting than swimming across the ocean with the assistance of some friendly dolphins. However, don't be fooled by Dolphins, because while they may be nice in-game, Dolphins are anything but nice in real life. Dolphins are the bullies of the sea, often hurting and attacking other large mammal creatures like sharks for their own entertainment. Aquarius might be nice now, but they can be the opposite when humans aren't looking.
1 Hope In Their Squidy Eyes – Pisces
Pisces are squids – sad, over-emotional squids. They go where the waters take them. They have big dreams and bigger ambitions. But why are those big goals drowning on land? Players still aren't sure. However, who is anyone to judge the confusing goals of a Pisces? Players know that beneath those hollow beady eyes and hopeful souls, a beautiful and squishy imagination lurks. At least, probably... It's hard to really say what's really going on under the hood. However, if a Pisces is lucky enough, they might become a golden squid!