Turns out, real-life superheroes have the same problems as their fictional inspirations. First there was Phoenix Jones and his Spider-Man-esque contentious relationship with Seattle police, and now a group of costumed crimefighters in East Jordan, Michigan. are embroiled in their own Civil War.

The Detroit News has shared the story of Petoskey Batman (Mark Williams, pictured above with his girlfriend Brittany Scott in a Batgirl costume) and Bee Sting (Adam Besso), former friends and partners turned enemies, in a feud sparked over leadership of their superhero squad, the Michigan Protectors. At this point, it's probably smart to reiterate that this was an article that appeared in a local newspaper, about actual people.

According to the story, this crisis in Northern Michigan soon became more about personal matters than vigilante justice: Bee Sting is critical of Petoskey Batman for having two girlfriends (at the same time), while Petoskey Batman has accused Bee Sting of cheating on his pregnant fiancée.

"He is an abusive, neglectful, thieving, boastful, cowardly crook," Petoskey Batman tells the newspaper. "He belongs in jail and I will see him there." Bee Sting fires back: "He has to tear others down to feel better about himself. He’s like Lord of the Flies with a slightly better version of dirt bags."

Things look to be escalating further, as the article divulges that Bee Sting's fiancée, Mandy Wilson, has been spilling his secrets: That he's driving with a suspended license, and he's used her social benefits card to buy food for the homeless. Based on her comments, it sounds like she's hoping he gets out of the superhero game: "The whole superhero fascination has always eluded me. I think it’s a whole mentality where he wants to be involved with something bigger than himself."