One of the most prominent things we often remember about childhood is the toys we had. Whether it was WWE figures, Tamagotchi, or TY Beanie Babies, we often hold our old toys dear and keep them well into adulthood. Sometimes, we sell them for big bucks later on eBay, and other times, they have too much sentimental value for any price tag. Either way, it’s big business for toy manufacturers and retailers alike. According to NPD, the U.S. toy industry grew its sales (in dollars) by seven percent to $7.9 billion in the first half of 2018; that’s some serious dough.
With so many MCU movies coming out in the next year, it’s no wonder that each one will inevitably breed a toy line. The success of Black Panther earlier this year even led Marvel to ramp up quantities on toys and merchandise due to its overwhelming demand. So, for all of the new MCU movies, you can expect to see action figures, toy replica props from the movie, Lego sets, Funko Pops, and much more to hit stores in the coming months, and MCU films like Captain Marvel, Avengers: Endgame, and Spider-Man: Far From Home will surely continue to grow the upward trend in 2019. Most of the toys that come out of the MCU are pretty cool, but some of the more risky ones are a little too tacky for our liking. They’ve definitely had more hits than misses, but when they miss, it’s pretty comical. Here are 10 MCU Toys That Make No Sense (And 10 That Are Worth A Fortune).
20 MAKES NO SENSE: THOR DUMBBELL ALARM CLOCK
It’s hard to imagine who this Thor Dumbbell Alarm Clock is trying to target. Is it kids who are looking to get ripped? Or maybe it’s buff adults who want to incorporate more Chris Hemsworth into their routine for inspiration? Whatever the case, it doesn’t really make sense that Thor would need a dumbbell. He’s a Norse God, so obviously he already has bulging biceps.
On top of that, it serves a dual function as an alarm clock with a digital display. We don’t know about you, but for us, there’s nothing like hitting the “snooze” button on something that could easily roll off your night table and dent the floor.
19 WORTH A FORTUNE: LIFE-SIZE HULKBUSTER ARMOR SUIT
This is incredibly cool. Ever since we spotted Bruce Banner in the Hulkbuster armor in Avengers: Infinity War, we wondered if it was humanly possible to get a life-sized replica of the suit. Sure, this Lego set weakened the Hulkbuster surprise before the movie was even out, but it turns out you can totally get one of them.
Oh, yeah. There’s one small problem. The suit costs a cool $21,500. It’s pocket change, really, considering you’d be the only person on your block with one and you’d spook the living daylights out of any kids that dare come to your house for Halloween.
18 MAKES NO SENSE: ANT-MAN ANT FARM
Pets can be fun; well, not this kind. For some reason, Marvel thought it would be cool to take the lamest, most boring pets ever (ants) and keep them in a cage decorated with Ant-Man logos. Yes, Scott Lang shrinks down to the size of an ant, but his powers are pretty much the least cool out of all the avengers.
The reason this one doesn’t make any sense is that it lacks all of the fun elements that make MCU toys fun. You can’t play with ants, take them out, or bend them into different action poses, which makes them relatively useless. That, and any kid’s parents who actually buy this will inevitably end up cleaning up a big mess when said kid knocks it over.
17 WORTH A FORTUNE: HYUNDAI KONA IRON MAN EDITION SUV (PRICE TBD)
Holy moly, a car company is actually making a model designed after a character in the MCU. The Kona Iron Man Edition SUV is a limited edition vehicle being manufactured by automobile giant Hyundai. The company says it’s “built to jet, protect, and out-tech,” and that it’s “ready to bring your comic book dreams to life.”
Equipped with blue LED daytime lights, a Marvel logo on the hood, a red armor roof with an Iron Man mask graphic, and a Stark Industries-branded touch screen, this SUV promises to be one amazing looking car; perfect for all your future Thanos battles. They’ll be available in spring 2019 if you’re willing to empty your bank account.
16 MAKES NO SENSE: THANOS MUG
The Mad Titan has a thirst for supremacy, power, and… coffee? The yellow glove molds to your hand as you carry a sweet double-double around the office, earning funny looks along the way. At least the mug is accurate, complete with Infinity Stones and all. With a snap of your fingers, you too can drink half of all the beverages in the world!
One of the warnings in the description is a bit suspicious, though: “Do not microwave.” So, you’re supposed to put hot liquids in this mug, but the mug itself can’t get hot? It’s a bit confusing, but not as confusing as to why people are debating if Thanos himself is hot or not.
15 WORTH A FORTUNE: STERN PINBALL GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY LIMITED EDITION MACHINE ($9,000)
Pinball is one of those things you forget about in adulthood, but when you remember, it’s a ton of fun to go back in time and play a game when you can. The Stern Pinball Guardians of the Galaxy machine allows you to do just that. Complete with a ball-eating Groot and wise-cracking Rocket Raccoon, it’s a party in a box that will certainly impress anyone who visits your game room.
For a cool $9K, you can grab the limited edition, which also has Groot arms and upgraded light displays. In addition to the original movie score, this version is loaded with Blue Swede’s “Hooked On A Feeling” and The Runaways’ “Cherry Bomb,” two seminal songs from the film. Sick!
14 MAKES NO SENSE: FUNKO POP GOLD CHROME GROOT FIGURE
Funko Pop figures are all the rage these days, and for good reason. They’re generally well crafted, accurate, colorful, and all in all fun to look at, but it’s starting to get out of hand. There are Funko Pops for everything now, including a Gold Chrome Groot Figure that has nothing to do with the movie.
Well, there’s actually a whole line of Gold Chrome Funko Pops, including Iron Man, Hulk, and Black Panther to name a few. They might be fun to collect, but the bright finish makes them a bit hard to look at. And at only $6 each, it’s hard to picture these gold ones skyrocketing in value anytime soon.
13 WORTH A FORTUNE: SIGNED METALLIC GOLD AND METALLIC PLATINUM STAN LEE FUNKO POPS ($6,000)
Staying on the topic of Funko Pops for a second, there are a few rare ones that are worth some serious dough for some reason. Not only was Stan Lee a pioneer in the comic world, he’s universally adored for his visionary leadership and is generally well-liked, due in part to his cameos in every MCU film.
In 2015, Comikaze put out a set of rare gold and silver Stan Lee Funko Pop figures, featuring the late innovator in a cape and his signature glasses. At only 10 pieces, it’s an extremely limited and rare figure that routinely goes for $6,000, and probably even more since his tragic passing last November.
12 MAKES NO SENSE: RUBIE'S INFINITY WAR THANOS ¾ MASK
If you want to (sort of) look like Thanos, there’s a mask for that. The details are a bit scarce on this one, but it’s sold by Rubie’s Costume Company, which claims to be the “world’s largest designer, manufacturer, and distributor of Halloween costumes and accessories.”
The mask itself is purple, which is accurate, we suppose, and unsightly. It’s made of vinyl (which can’t be comfortable) and it’s a one-size fits all piece with an elastic band. For $26, it’s not very expensive, but you’re going to need a heck of a lot of accessories if you actually want to look anything like Thanos.
11 WORTH A FORTUNE: NECA CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR IRON MAN LIFE-SIZE FOAM STATUE ($1,550)
For a true life-sized experience with Iron Man, you can get the NECA Captain America: Civil War Iron Man foam replica figure. It’s a hefty 63 pounds and stands over six feet tall. The description says it will “stand guard in any room, from home, to office, to retail environments!” Any comic book store with this thing in it would instantly stand out.
The statue itself is made of foam rubber and latex, and it stands on its own without a base, so you can put it pretty much anywhere without it taking up too much space. The coolest thing about it is its amazing hand-painted detail, which makes it look exactly like the suit in the movie.
10 MAKES NO SENSE: NERF SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING RAPID BLASTER
Any parent will tell you Nerf guns are annoying. It’s not so much the guns themselves, but the foam bullets that are left scattered throughout the house, which are eventually torn up by vacuums, hungry dogs, etc. The Nerf Spider-Man: Homecoming Rapid Blaster not only takes this grievance to the extreme by firing six darts in rapid succession, it has the audacity to include an extra cartridge holder for extras. Fun!
Reading through the comments, the main complaints are that this toy is difficult for young kids to use since it hangs off the wrist in an awkward manner. The range apparently isn’t so good compared to other Nerf guns either.
9 WORTH A FORTUNE: TONY STARK ROLLERBALL PEN BY S.T. DUPONT ($1,395)
Sometimes, it seems like Disney will do anything to make a quick buck, and the Tony Stark Rollerball Pen by S.T. Dupont is no exception. Considering all of the cool tech Stark Industries has developed in the MCU, this pen is rather unremarkable. For some reason, it’s priced at nearly $1,4000, which is roughly the same price as two adults taking two kids to Disneyland on a 4-day Park Hopper pass.
Let’s give credit where credit is due, though. The pen is a limited edition of 1963, the body is engraved with the S.T. Dupont logo, and it has Tony Stark’s signature on the cap. So, you choose: Disneyland or a pen.
8 MAKES NO SENSE: GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY STAR-LORD’S WALKMAN/VOICE RECORDER
Let’s say you come across the Guardians of the Galaxy Star-Lord’s Walkman/Voice Recorder. You might think, “Cool, I didn’t know they still made cassettes!” They totally do, by the way, but this cute little device won’t help you with that. In fact, it doesn’t load cassettes at all since it’s actually an mp3 player.
For $50, you can “jam out like Quill!” and listen to “Come A Little Bit Closer” by Jay and the Americans over and over again. Oh, but there’s three whole minutes of recording time, so you can load up your own song or record your own voice. This really doesn’t measure up, though, especially since you can get a real portable cassette player for less than half the price.
7 WORTH A FORTUNE: AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR NESTING DOLLS ($1,075)
Etsy can be a weird place. It’s where people sell everything from handmade crafts to boarder line copyright-infringing collectibles. We’re not sure where the Avengers: Infinity War Nesting Dolls stand on that, but they are definitely unique and look cool when lined up together.
Created by Inspired Art Dolls, who seem to make these things for almost every major pop culture franchise, The Avengers dolls are hand painted with acrylic paint with excruciating detail. You can actually watch the whole process here, which actually makes the almost $1,100 price tag seem more palatable. You could argue that some of the dolls don’t resemble the MCU characters in exact detail, but they’re pretty neat nonetheless.
6 MAKES NO SENSE: INFINITY WAR STORMBREAKER ELECTRONIC AXE
Nothing says power like pushing a leaf button. That’s what you have to do to activate the sounds on the Infinity War Stormbreaker Electronic Axe. Armed with thunder sound FX and pretty much nothing else, the Stormbreaker is about as bare-boned as it gets. Your little ones can pretend to swing the axe like Thor, but other than that, this toy is pretty one dimensional.
The idea of giving kids a foam axe (read: weapon) to play with is questionable in and of itself. It’s pretty bad when there’s a warning label right on the front that reads: “Caution: Do not hit or swing at people or animals.” Yikes!
5 WORTH A FORTUNE: HOT TOYS INFINITY GAUNTLET REPLICA ($930)
You probably figured some stuff from Hot Toys would make this list. The Hong Kong-based manufacturer has been pumping out cool and collectible toys since 2000, so you know they’ll have something ready whenever a new MCU film drops.
The Hot Toys Infinity Gauntlet Replica features LED lights with two modes (light-on and breathing light effect), realistic metallic paint, and all six Infinity Stones. It’s made of polystone, a material specifically used for its ability to bring out colors and textures. It’ll be hard to play with though, since it’s mounted on a flat base with a neat Avengers logo painted on it. Such a cool gift for $930. Santa’s got nothing on this baby.
4 MAKES NO SENSE: AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR HERO VISION IRON MAN AR EXPERIENCE
The Avengers: Infinity War Hero Vision Iron Man AR Experience looks interesting, but the fine print might turn you off. In order for this thing to correctly operate, you need your smartphone running a supported system and have the Hero Vision app installed. From there, you put your device into the mask and voila; you can live your life vicariously through someone else.
Oh, yeah. You also have to place AR markers around the area where you want to play. While the technology is kind of neat, it seems like it would be more constructive to just send your kids outside to burn off some stream.
3 WORTH A FORTUNE: MCU PHASE ONE – AVENGERS ASSEMBLED BLU-RAY LIMITED EDITION BOX SET ($500)
If you’re a MCU fan and you’ve been nice this year, there’s a chance Santa will bring you the MCU Phase One – Avengers Assembled Limited Edition box set. It’s a 10 disc Blu-ray collection that even includes The Avengers, Captain America: The First Avenger, and Thor in beautiful 3D.
Best of all, it comes housed in a shiny suitcase with a glowing Tesseract inside. There’s also a “Top-secret bonus disc” with never-before-seen deleted scenes, extended scenes, featurettes, and more. In the Netflix age, $500 seems like a lot to pay for 10 movies, but this unique set is sure to make any MCU aficionado happy.
2 MAKES NO SENSE: GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY DANCING GROOT FIGURE
According to Disney’s website, the Groot Dancing figure is him “branching out to become a song and dance star.” Gotta love the puns. But seriously, why would anyone need this? It’s another toy that plays “Come A Little Bit Closer” by Jay and the Americans on repeat, and this time, it's while our favorite tree-like hero sways and dances around.
His arms are posable and his eyes light up, but other than that, this toy is a one-trick pony. We suppose you can’t expect much for $30, but it would’ve been nice to have a little more interaction involved. It’s for ages 3+, so the littlest ones who might actually enjoy this aren’t even able to use it.
1 WORTH A FORTUNE: STAR-LORD HELMET PROP REPLICA ($700)
This prop replica of Star-Lord’s Guardians of the Galaxy helmet is anything but lame. According to EFX Collectibles (who created the helmet), it’s made from “master patterns made from an original screen-used helmet from the Marvel Studios archives.” Apparently, it fits a bit small, so it’s more of a conversation piece. You can buy it from Sideshow Collectibles for a measly $700. Peanuts, right?
The helmet is made of fiberglass, metal, and plastic, and it is painted with diligent detail. Limited to 750 units worldwide, it’s sure to sell out and be worth way more than that once the Guardians franchise reaches its conclusion.