I just noticed that I’ve done a year’s worth of Judging Books By Their Covers at the current blog, so I thought it’d be neat to look back at the last year’s worth of covers, and pick out the fifteen that I thought were the creepiest (not creepy as in Tales from the Crypt, but like that Quagmire fellow from Family Guy).
First off, I’m only going by covers that were in the solicitations, so some covers might have gotten by me. For instance, I know there was a pretty creepy Marvel Zombies hardcover with Mary Jane on it that wasn’t solicited. So just keep that in mind.
Also keep in mind that this is not the fifteen covers with the worst artwork, just the fifteen that I found the creepiest.
15. This Hawkgirl cover probably doesn’t necesarily belong here, but it just annoyed me that we JUST missed out on all the creepiest Howard Chaykin Hawkgirl covers with the protruding nipples, so I figured I might as well show the most notable example we did have from the past year.
Pretty creepy that Hawkgirl is flying around everywhere with her nipples popping out of her costume.
14. It’s really too bad, as the cover idea here is quite solid.
But the women in the forefront are awfully darn creepy.
I do like the work with Doom’s mask, though!
13. Surprisingly few Greg Land covers in the past year. I think he cut down on covers, and some of the covers he DID do were non-creepy ones of werewolves, etc.
This Ultimate Power one is pretty creepy because of the whole “why the heck are we seeing a pin-up gallery out of nowhere?” angle.
Plus the decent chance that most of these women are taken from photographs of models.
12. I actually LIKE this Exterminators cover, but come on, it’s two bugs having sex!!
That’s quite creepy!
11. The wackiness of the decaptatied head on this cover is done quite well, so it obscures the creepiness of the women figures on this Heroes for Hire cover a bit…
but just a BIT.
10. I felt weird only really being creeped out by over-sexualized covers, so I figured I’d put this one out there, too, as overly graphic violence on a superhero cover can be creepy, too.
Remember when you couldn’t draw blood red? Now you can have blood spurt out on a cover due to a sword wound?
The times, they are a’ changin’!
It is amazing to me that Billy Tucci’s Heroes for Hire covers are not even near the creepiest cover just on that title itself!!!
Here are two darn creepy ones, though…
ALEX ROSS TWO-FER!!
7. I can almost certainly assume that Alex Ross did not intend it to appear that way, but it looks to me like Citizen Steel has an erection on this Justice Society of America cover, and a superhero having an erection on a comic book cover is pretty darn creepy.
6. However, he outdoes himself on this next Justice Society of America cover. Is Cyclone even wearing underwear on this cover? Sure doesn’t look like it, does it?
5. I get that she’s undercover as an assassin, but peppy teen hooker is not a good look for X-23.
I’d dare say it’s a creeeepy look for her.
4. I get that Steve Epting doesn’t mean anything bad by it or anything, but seeing a black guy so realistically set on fire on a comic cover like this is way creepy to me.
3. Almost as creepy as Ed Benes drawing Mary Marvel…
2. It’s nothing compared to Michael Turner drawing Power Girl…that’s like a match made in the place that is the opposite of heaven…
1. Finally, though, when it comes to creepy comic book covers, you have to get up pretty early in the morning to get creepier than a tentacle dripping…AHEM….”goo” on Black Cat’s breasts….
That’s my list!
Agree? Disagree? Let me know (as if I could stop you)!!
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