In Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure, the characters use spiritual abilities called Stands in order to battle or to gain the upper hand in conflicts in other ways like espionage, stealing, or tricking people into giving up information or items.

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But Jojo is also an extraordinarily silly show that really leans into that silliness, and the use of Stands is no exception. While there are a lot of really awesome battles, there are also some very ridiculous things that some of the Stands do with their powers. 

10 Star Platinum: Drawing A Picture

Jotaro's Star Platinum Stand Jojo's Bizarre Adventure

Star Platinum is the Stand of Jotaru Kujo, who is the third protagonist of Jojo’s Bizarre Adventures. Because he’s the main character, it can be expected that his Stand is pretty impressive: strong, fast, and with extraordinary precision. It’s this precision that is used for a pretty dumb purpose.

Jotaru receives a grainy, low-res photo of an Egyptian fly, and he has Star Platinum redraw the fly in a photo-realistic illustration, which is a pretty silly thing to use a super-powerful Stand for.

9 Hermit Purple: Playing Video Games

Hermit purple jojo

Hermit Purple, the Stand of Joseph Joestar, manifests as a series of vines that can be used as weapons or as a means to grab things or hold a person captive.

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The vines are pretty dextrous, almost as nimble as fingers. One of the ways that this is shown is when they are used to hold a video game controller, with the ability to press the buttons as necessary to play the game.

8 Tower Of Gray: Writing Words

Tower of Gray is the Stand of Gray Fly, and it is literally a giant beetle. It’s not very powerful in most ways, but it’s really fast and very precise, and it can destroy things by crushing them in its jaws.

Its flight speed and control is very good, and it can control its movements with incredible precision. This precision is shown when Tower of Gray writes words in cursive while flying. Why cursive? Who knows?

7 Strength: Turning Into A Boat

Strength jojo

One can probably tell by Strength’s name that its biggest power is that it’s strong. But it has a secondary power as well, which allows it to combine with a boat and become a giant freighter, which Forever can control at will.

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It’s a pretty powerful Stand, and it definitely gives the Joestar Group a run for its money, but we can’t quite get over the fact that its main thing is that it turns into a boat.

6 Wheel Of Fortune: Hijacking Car Radios

Anime wheel of fortune jojo's bizarre adventure

Wheel of Fortune’s whole deal is that it can become a fast and dangerous car and also control other vehicles around it. It’s an interesting Stand ability for sure, and it must come in very useful to ZZ during battle.

The ability that seems silly regarding Wheel of Fortune is that it can take over the car radios of nearby cars in order to talk to people through them. It’s a little too much like the way Bumblebee talks but in a much less charming way, especially since it’s a weird killer spirit situation.

5 Justice: Disguising A Metal Fence As Jojo’s Car

Justice from jojo

Justice’s ability is being able to disguise the way things look in order to trick people. This ability to create illusions puts it and Enya the Hag at an advantage, since they can create an environment that suits them, and Enya can even disguise herself as someone else in order to trick them as well.

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The weirdest and dumbest way that Justice is used is to disguise a metal fence as Jojo’s car. The idea is that Jojo will jump onto it, thinking that it’s his car, get impaled, and die. That’s a really silly way to go, and it definitely seems like there would be more straightforward options for tricking him.

4 Sun: Destroying Jojo’s Binoculars

Sun jojo

Sun is pretty much exactly what it says on the tin. Its abilities are focused on light and heat, like the sun, and it can shoot rays of light as weapons. It can do this both in a general way, sending bolts of light in every direction.

But it can also be incredibly precise, using the rays more like a sharpshooter might. One of the times we see this in use is when it shoots and destroys a pair of binoculars that Jojo is holding in his hands.

3 Bastet: Magnetism

jojo fighting bast

So Bastet’s ability is pretty powerful and destructive, and it can certainly kill people pretty easily. But overall, it’s a pretty dumb and weird ability that looks stupid just about every time it uses it.

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Bastet can make a person into a giant magnet, which draws any metallic objects nearby to the person and makes them stick to them. It can be dangerous, because something could impale a person, for example, but it’s also incredibly silly and doesn’t seem like a cool ability to win a fight with.

2 Love Deluxe: Tying Up A Tongue

Yukako Yamigishi's Love Deluxe in Jojo's Bizarre Adventure; Yukako's hair is floating in a mass and her eyes are bugged, her mouth agape.

Love Deluxe is pretty similar to Hermit Purple in that it is a vine-like structure that can be used as a whip or to tie things up. But as opposed to being actual vines, it’s bound to and made of Yukako Yamagishi’s hair.

Love Deluxe is also incredibly dextrous and is able to do pretty small tasks with its strands. One such task is tying up a tongue. We’re not completely sure how useful that is, but it is certainly a thing Love Deluxe is capable of.

1 Achtung Baby: Turning A Baby Invisible

invisible baby jojo's bizarre adventure

Achtung Baby is the Stand of Shizuka Joestar, who is a literal baby. Because she’s a baby, she can’t really control her Stand yet, so it mostly reacts on instinct based on her stress levels, such as when she’s afraid or ill-tempered, and in those situations, it defends her by making her invisible.

This will probably be a pretty useful skill when she’s older if she ends up taking part in battles, but since she’s a baby and can’t really go anywhere, it doesn’t seem especially helpful to make her invisible, since the adults around her probably know where they left her.

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