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Jesus Saves: Seeley Talks “Loaded Bible”

by  in Comic News Comment
Jesus Saves: Seeley Talks “Loaded Bible”

NOTE: The following contains some adult content and language.

Contrary to what the heavy metal band Slayer would have you believe, Jesus saves everyone; not through sermons, but by kicking some undead ass! This is the premise behind “Loaded Bible: Jesus vs. Vampires,” a 48 page one shot shipping in April from Image Comics. CBR News spoke with writer Tim Seeley about the book, which is set in a dystopian future world overrun by blood thirsty nosferatu.

The roots of “Loaded Bible” stretch back to Seeley’s teenage years. “Waaaay back when I was a teenager I was driving around listening to college radio when they played this crazy song where the lyrics were something to do with ‘a rifle in one hand and a bible in the other,'” Seeley told CBR News. “For whatever reason, it gave me this idea to do a western where Jesus fought vampires. I went home and told my brother Steve about it and he started talking about an idea he had involving Jesus. I liked his, so we combined our ideas into ‘Loaded Bible.’ When I worked for Dead Dog Comics, I actually published a ‘Loaded Bible’ short story in ‘From Heaven to Hell’ #1, with art by pre- ‘G.I. Joe’ Steve Kurth. Eventually, I started working for DDP, and ‘Bible’ got back-burnered as I worked on ‘G.I. Joe,’ ‘Dark Elf’ and ‘Hack/Slash.’

“But, one day a year ago, I sat down and wrote a 42 page story, out of nowhere,” Seeley continued. “I was surprised it just came out like that. I ‘m friends with several of the guys at Image and I sent it to them. They thought it sounded fun, so we began the slow process of getting an artist on it, and scheduling it up. Robert Kirkman, who’s an old friend of mine, kicked it in high gear by hooking me up with Nate Bellgrade and Make Englert. And, away we went, hopefully right in time for an Easter release!”

Horror movie fans might incorrectly think that Seeley was influenced by the 2001 independent horror comedy “Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter.” “That movie came out several years after young Steve and I started working on ‘Bible.'” Seeley said. “I was so bummed when I saw the ad for that movie. But, I rented it anyway…it’s good. Check it out. But, it’s pretty different from ‘Bible.’ ‘Bible’ is actually this sort of epic science fiction story (believe it or not!), with more in common with stories like ‘Blade Runner’ and ‘I Am Legend.’ No seriously. But, being me, I also wrote in a fair amount of silly, bad-ass Jesus one-liners. I mean, I’m just not that strong. I had to.”

“Loaded Bible” is set in the near future in a dark, dystopian world. “After 9/11, Americans become more insular, more routed in Christian faith, to the point where church and state become inseparable. Then, one day, we find out that vampires exist. And from there, everything goes to hell,” Seeley explained. “Bible takes place in the aftermath of a nuclear war with the Vampire Nation. The last outpost of humanity is a giant theocratic church-state called New Vatican City. Vampires are everywhere, most of them starving due to a lack of human prey. They’re getting desperate. And then, our boy Jesus comes along.”

Seeley is keeping mum on the details of Christ’s return, but Jesus finds himself thrust into a world where living up to the role of Savior of mankind won’t be an easy task. “Our Jesus is as much based on what I could find out about the real Christ as possible, combined with a sort of Snake Plissken bad ass hero. He’s a good person – a thinker, a progressive. But, he’s responsible for all these people, who all look to him to save them. It makes him sort of tortured hero – a guy with the weight of the world on his shoulders who covers it up with brash confidence.”

Some people might wonder what kind of special skills the Jewish carpenter possesses to aid him in his crusade against the vile, blood sucking hordes. “Well, he’s Jesus. I mean, just the image of a cross fucks with vampires,” Seeley stated. “Imagine what the actual guy who hung from it can do. Three words….holy water spit.”

Jesus will need all the weapons and skills at his disposal to take on the horde of adversaries he faces in “Loaded Bible.” “In this first story, it’s mostly vampires that Jesus will be tussling with, but by the end of the tale, we set him up for a whole new set of adversaries,” Seeley explained. “Also, there are different kinds of vampires, so you get to see the difference between Jesus chopping up lesser vampires, which are more like zombies, and Greater Vampires, which can do all kinds of Dracula-shit.”

In “Loaded Bible: Jesus vs. Vampires,” readers will also meet some of the major players in the Vampire Nation, including their ruling body the Vampire Council. “The head of the council is Lilith, the first vampire,” Seeley said. “But, our Lilith ain’t no sexy, Vampirella looking dame. She’s the first vampire. She’s a goddamn monkey. An Australopithecus to be exact. And, Sistine Centura, the vampire assassin plays a major role.”

The plot of “Loaded Bible: Jesus vs. Vampires” will reveal the answer to a mystery and introduce readers to the book’s unique setting. “‘Loaded Bible’ deals with Christ coming to find the truth of his existence, while setting up the world and the colorful characters that inhabit it. Also, there’s shitloads of crazy fight scenes.”

Seeley hopes “Jesus vs. Vampires” is just the first installment in the “Loaded Bible” series and notes that if it does well, there’ll definitely be more stories to come. “I have [the next story] all plotted out and ready to go,” said Seeley. “And the sequel will involve a familiar character. After all, what kind of Bible story would I be telling if I didn’t include the devil?”

Some people might mistakenly dismiss “Loaded Bible” as just a humor book, but Seeley says it’s a tad more serious than the solicitation text had people believing. “It’s an epic, so it’s got a heavy tone,” Seeley explained. “But, on the other hand, at it’s heart, it’s still a sacrilegious romp, with plenty of big summer blockbuster moments”

Seeley feels that anyone who appreciates fun, sweeping cinematic adventure epics should appreciate “Loaded Bible.” “If you’re a close-minded type who can’t stand any criticism or exploration of Christianity, you should probably avoid it,” warned Seeley. “But, if you’re up for a wild, action/horror comic, you should definitely get it. The art is great, the characters are cool, and it’s not just another corporate superhero book.”

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