Saying that you’ve never heard of Star Wars is like saying you’ve never heard of the sun or you’ve never breathed air. The series started back in 1977 and in 2015, the entire franchise was valued at over $40 billion. Sounds like the money that Disney spent in 2012 to buy Lucasfilm for $4 billion was a wise investment. If you’re not buying the blu-rays of the films, you’re buying lightsabers or blasters or Yoda backpacks or all the Star Wars video games (ok, maybe not all of the games). Sure, you’ve got the Wampa action figure valued at $250 or the R2D2 lunchbox that’s worth $3,000, but how good is your meme collection?
Nowadays, to truly make it in the world, you need to have a meme. How does Bad Luck Brian get involved with the Star Wars franchise? How many inappropriate innuendos can you make about Yoda being on Luke Skywalker’s back while he’s training? The Sith may deal in absolutes, but these memes are so absolutely hilarious they’ll send your midi-chlorian count through the roof of the Millennium Falcon.
15. THE FORCE! DO YOU USE IT?
Samuel L. Jackson is known for being like what’s written on the wallet of Jules Winnfield from Pulp Fiction, which is to say, he’s one bad mother… well, you know. It’s been a while since we’ve seen him, but do we really need to remind you he’s also Nick Fury? With so many great roles to choose from, let’s focus on Mace Windu, who wields a purple light saber because Sam Jackson wanted to make sure you could pick out his character during the big fight scene on Geonosis in Attack of the Clones.
Mace Windu would stand out anyway due to the fact that he’s one of the most powerful Jedi of all time. So don’t say you’re a Jedi when you’re actually not. Yes, we’re looking at you, Anakin. Even if Windu double-dog dares you, keep your mouth shut and follow what the man says.
14. ME IRL
The Force is as strong as it is enigmatic. It allows you to do great physical feats, see into the future, as well as cause changes in the world around you. Also if someone disrespects you, you can Force Choke them without ever laying a finger on their body. The amount of midi-chlorians in your cells determine the potency of your connection to the Force. If you were Force-sensitive, what would you do?
Don’t bother answering because the answer is you’d screw it up. You would try and Force Jump and wind up smashing into the ceiling. Anything you try to lift would only come crashing down. Don’t bother with Jedi Mind Tricks because you’d probably make the person’s head explode. Leave the Force alone. This is why we can’t have nice things.
13. GANDALF VS. OBI WAN
It’s always fun to do mash-ups and wonder if Hulk can beat Superman or if Batman could beat Captain America. Here we have a combination that we don’t think has been done: what if you were to put Obi Wan Kenobi against Gandalf the Grey from Lord of the Rings? Is it the most powerful of magics versus the strongest of force powers? Not quite…
Here in this meme, the battle is a little anti-climactic, and the Jedi Mind Trick that Obi Wan used to convince the Stormtroopers that the droids he was with were not the ones he was looking for is used on Gandalf to let him pass. It’s fine to let Obi Wan go as long as he makes sure that Gandalf stops the Balrog from crossing.
12. LET’S GIVE LUKE SKYWALKER A HAND
At the end of The Force Awakens, we see Rey finally find Luke Skywalker after spending the entire movie looking for him. She even has a present for him: his lightsaber. Luke takes off his hood and gives her a quizzical look. Is it because he’s confused to see her? Is it because he’s surprised to see his lightsaber? Or is it because he wanted a different gift?
In The Empire Strikes Back, Luke learns that Darth Vader is really his father, but right before learning this, he gets his hand cut off by the very same man. Luke gets a robotic replacement but it’s certainly not as good as the real thing. Luke might have been hoping that Rey brought the hand that he lost in battle, but unless it’s been moisturized for decades, it’s probably no good to him anymore.
11. DO YOU EVEN FORCE LIFT, BRO?
How do you make a shark more scary? Put a bear on his back and give that bear a shotgun. How about the Hulk? Marvel announced Weapon H, which created a hybrid of the Incredible Hulk and Wolverine, where Hulk was sporting Logan’s claws. That sounds horrifying, but is there any other way to make Hulk even more scary? Bring him to a galaxy far, far away…
What if you took the sheer physical strength of the Hulk and fused it with that of Jedi Master Yoda? At first glance he seems a little funny, but upon further inspection it’s a damn horror show. If the Hulk’s strength doesn’t crush you then his ability to use the Force will. We also think that Hulk’s limited vocabulary coupled with Yoda’s funny way of talking would make Yoda Hulk incomprehensible.
10. THIS KID CAN NEVER CATCH A BREAK
If you know your memes, then you know about Bad Luck Brian, who made his debut back in 2012. His real name is Kyle Craven, and thanks to his friend Ian Davies, we think of this kid whenever something ironically explodes in one’s face. Bad Luck Brian tries to mute his computer but instead ups the volume or dresses as Batman for Halloween and his parents get killed. You get the drift.
What if Bad Luck Brian was lucky enough to become a Jedi? As awesome as that may be, the success is clearly short lived because in Revenge of the Sith, Chancellor Sheev Palpatine initiates Clone Protocol 66, which results in the Clone Army terminating virtually all of the Jedi. Only a handful of Jedi survived, and as much as we want it to be so, there’s no way that Bad Luck Brian survived the Jedi Purge.
9. THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY
Funny meme or insightful psychological study of two characters? In Attack of the Clones, Anakin Skywalker and Obi Wan Kenobi are in charge of protecting Princess Amidala after a failed assassination attempt on her life. Anakin and Obi Wan found themselves bickering over how to best protect the Princess. Although they’re successful in protecting her, it hints at future conflicts to come.
Here in this meme we find more disagreements between Anakin and Obi Wan, and it also foreshadows some of the less honorable choices that he made involving children. It illustrates how the problem solving skills of Anakin are radically different from those of Obi Wan. Judging by Amidala’s suggestion, she’s a bit taken aback by her future husband’s proposal. Was Anakin always this eager to take out kids?
8. DIDN’T MEAN TO MAKE YOU CRY
Kylo… just killed his dad. Crossguard lightsaber fired on and stabbed Solo, now he’s gone. Goodbye, everybody, unless you’re a Force Ghost, gotta leave you all behind and face the truth! How awesome would a band be consisting of Emperor Palpatine, Darth Vader, Darth Maul and Kylo Ren? Given the sweet voice of James Earl Jones, we hope he’s lead vocals, with Kylo on bass, Maul on drums and Palpatine on cowbell.
If you’re a fan of Queen, you will recognize the classic pose from the music video for Bohemian Rhapsody, released on their 1975 album A Night At the Opera. It’s the third best selling single of all time in the United Kingdom and was rumored to be at the time it was released the most expensive single ever made. It’s popularity was revitalized in the early 1990s when it was featured in the 1992 film Wayne’s World. Party on, Darth!
7. DARTH GUGENSPRITZER
If you remember seeing The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi in the 1980s, then you’ll also remember from that time The Golden Girls. It was a sitcom that followed the exploits of four elderly women living in Florida. Their sarcasm, wit and charm are as funny today as they were 30 years ago. Three of the four cast members passed away, leaving Betty White as the sole surviving member.
At age 95, Betty White is still quite active in Hollywood. She starred in Hot In Cleveland in 2015 and made appearances on Community and Bones. Thanks to a Facebook campaign, she hosted Saturday Night Live in 2010 at the age of 88. What would make her more of a badass? Two lightsabers in her hand, while her friends as Force Ghosts cheer her on! Obviously.
6. ALL HAIL MAUL
When audiences were waiting for Attack of the Clones to come out in 2002, people were keeping their fingers crossed that they might see the return of Darth Maul. In The Phantom Menace, we only spent about 15 minutes with the character. Maybe it’s his amazing look or his awesome double-bladed lightsaber, but there was something about the Dathomirian Zabrak that audiences immediately fell in love with.
Let’s add to the awesome pile, shall we? We’re not talking about Sean Bean who dies in virtually every movie he’s in. You know the drill about Liam Neeson’s particular set of skills, and yes we know that the meme is wrong: Liam Neeson was killed in Gangs Of New York and Batman Begins, to name a few. In our book, though, the man lives on forever (as a Force Ghost).
5. DAD ISSUES
Who knew that there were so many Daddy issues in the Star Wars series? Kylo Ren had several with his father, Han. Luke as well had massive issues with his father, Anakin, who arguably speaking didn’t even have an actual father (do midi-chlorians count?). So, as you can see, there are lots of patriarchal issues across the galaxy far, far away. But who holds the title for the most daddy issues? Clone Troopers.
At one point, the Stormtroopers evolved to not just being clones, but at one point the entirety of the Grand Army of the Republic consisted of clones that were created on Kamino. The clones were commissioned by Jedi Master Sifo-Dyas and the template for the army was bounty hunter Jango Fett. Do the clones march around wondering who their dad was and why he doesn’t call them? Are they upset that Jango met his demise at the hands of Mace Windu?
4. WATCH MORE THAN THE X-WING RISE
In The Empire Strikes Back, Obi Wan’s Force ghost directs Luke Skywalker to seek out Yoda in the Dagobah system to continue his Jedi training. Dagobah, like most featured planets in the Star Wars universe, is a planet consisting of one giant ecosystem. Whereas Coruscant is one giant city and Hoth is one giant frozen planet, Dagobah is one giant swamp planet. Luke crash-lands his X-Wing on the planet and eventually finds the Jedi Master.
Luke spends time with Yoda, learning how to tap into the Force, and it manifests both physically (using the Force to levitate objects and do incredible physical feats) and mentally (visions of his friends in Cloud City). During training, Yoda clung to Luke’s back (perhaps you’re one of many who owns a backpack shaped like Yoda). However, this meme pauses Luke’s training at an inopportune moment where Yoda is giving his Padawan a little more than advice.
3. HIGHER GROUND
Who are some of the most famous military leaders in history? Alexander the Great comes to mind. The Macedonian had amassed an empire that covered over 3,000 miles. Napoleon Bonaparte, Ghengis Khan, Hannibal, even George S. Patton found themselves in the history books based on their military prowess. So where does General Obi Wan Kenobi fall in the pantheon of military leaders?
In Revenge of the Sith, there is an epic fight scene between Obi Wan and Anakin Skywalker, who has just been newly minted as Darth Vader, courtesy of Palpatine. The fight is evenly matched until Obi Wan is able to get to a higher level of ground. Suddenly he acts like this is an automatic win and that being higher than your opponent makes you invincible. Go home, Obi Wan, you’re Force drunk.
2. HOLY SITH!
Yoda’s speech patterns have always been a bit peculiar. Yoda uses anastrophe, where the sentence structure involves object-subject-verb. “Powerful, you have become!” “Patience you must have!” Regardless of his speech, Yoda is as wise as he is old, and considering that he lived past 900, you get a sense of how smart he was. He also was an excellent teacher. Sorry, Luke, although you were special, you were one of the many 20,000 students that Yoda once taught over the years.
When Yoda trained Luke on Dagobah, he held onto Luke’s back while he ran through the swamps, imparting various words of wisdom. As a pep talk, he told him not to try, because in the end you either do it or you don’t. However, if we use Obi Wan’s description to describe the boolean mentality of the Sith, then it seems like Yoda just outed himself as a Sith Lord!
1. NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF TPS REPORTS
What’s worse, the ferocious tyranny and evil of Darth Vader or the bureaucratic banality of Bill Lumbergh from the 1999 film Office Space? Whereas Darth Vader’s troops cower in front of him, Bill Lumbergh’s employees are all laughing behind his back. He’s passive-aggressive, uninspiring and embodies the very worst elements of middle management. How could we make Lumbergh any worse?
Meet Darth Lumbergh, complete with his Vader helmet, red Lumbergh suspenders, and his Initech coffee mug. He can incapacitate even the strongest of cubicle worker with either a Force Choke or with bureaucratic red tape. Yeah, if you could go fill out your midi-chlorian count on those TPS reports that would be great, mmmkay? Who’s playing the role of Milton? Is it Yoda? Chewbacca? Help us, Obi Ron Livingston, you’re our only hope!
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