One man in Iowa isn’t waiting passively for the zombie horde to strike first.
Officers in Iowa City responded at 1:17 a.m. Sunday to a report of an assault at a restaurant, where the victim said he was ordering food when a man approached him, accused him of being a zombie and then punched him in the eye. (First clue the guy probably wasn’t a zombie: The Panchero’s menu doesn’t feature brainssss.)
When the victim tried to use his cell phone to call police, the assailant hit him again, breaking his nose, and then fled through the back door of the restaurant. (Second clue the guy probably wasn’t a zombie: The shambling dead have difficulty operating mobile devices.)
The victim was transported to a local hospital and treated for his injuries. (Third clue the guy probably wasn’t a zombie: Health-insurance providers consider death a pre-existing condition.)
Police are looking for the assailant, while Iowa City Area CrimeStoppers offer a reward of up to $1,000 for information leading to his arrest.
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