Kid’s cartoons are full of adult jokes — pretty much everyone knows this by now. It’s no secret that the people who work on these shows like to sneak in innuendo and double entendres for the adult viewers who are watching them. Superhero cartoons are no different, and one of the biggest offenders is Justice League, and its follow up series Justice League Unlimited. Seriously, there were so many to choose from we had trouble getting it down to just 16! Then again, when you really think about it, the Justice League is full of men and women in spandex in close quarters and high-stress situations — that’s a cocktail (pun intended) for sexual tension. It’s no wonder so many of their conversations are laced with dirty jokes!
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Justice League, like the rest of the DCAU, was known for having lots of romantic subplots, and it’s part of the reason there was so much innuendo in the show. The other reason is probably because the writers think they’re funny, and they are, especially when they come out of the mouths of your favorite superheroes. So which among these many dirty jokes are the dirtiest? We’ve got 16 for you right here, some you might have completely missed!
16. FASTEST MAN ALIVE
There are countless jokes about The Flash being “super fast,” implying that his powers make him fast in all aspects of his life. As repetitive as these jokes can get, it’s a lot funnier when they are said to The Flash himself. We get just that in the Justice League episode “Injustice For All,” in which Hawkgirl throws some some serious shade at the speedster.
After stopping a fire, the Justice League regroups at the Watchtower to figure out what Lex Luthor is up to. As they do so, The Flash brags to Hawkgirl about how fast he put out the fires, saying he’s the “fastest man alive.” To this, Hawkgril replies with a crisp, “which might explain why you can’t get a date.” An offended Flash comes back with “Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?”
15. DON’T KNOCK IT TILL YOU’VE TRIED IT
Being born on an island of only women that believed men were responsible for all the war and destruction in the world, Wonder Woman’s hatred of men is pretty understandable. Though we see her lighten up and accept that not all men are bad (she even starts to develop feelings for Batman), she didn’t start out that way. In one of the earlier episodes, titled “Fury,” Wonder Woman makes her disdain of men very clear, but in comes Hawkgirl again with a witty, dirty comment.
When a virus begins attacking all the men in the world, the League tries to figure out why. “But who wants to live in a world without men?” Hawkgirl asks, to which Wonder Woman says “They can’t possibly be the essential to your life.” Hawkgirl, with a sly tone, replies with “Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it, Princess.”
14. NOW THAT’S SERVICE
Some superheroes are kind of perverts, and in the case of Metamorpho we’re lucky his transformation into a mutant humbled him quite a bit. In the episode “Metamorphosis,” we follow the story of Rex Mason, a former Marine and friend of John Stewart. Rex is a bit of a hotshot, working for Stagg Enterprises and living the high life. However, that all changes when his boss finds out he’s dating his daughter.
Rex is tricked into entering a chamber that turns him into Metamorpho, a multi-colored mutant master of the elements. Things take a turn but eventually Rex finds peace in his new form with the help of his true love, Sapphire Stagg. However, before Rex learns this humility, he’s a bit of a sexist jerk, objectifying the train stewardess (while away from his fiancee) by saying “now that’s service” when she walks away.
13. FIREFLY’S FLAME THROWER
“It’s not the size, it’s how you use it.” We’ve all heard this phrase thrown around, and we all know what it means. It’s a bit of an overused joke, so it’s a nice surprise when there’s a twist to this “classic.” Justice League did just that, coming from an exchange between villains Volcana and Firefly. In the episode “Only a Dream” the two fiery foes escape from prison and go on a crime spree.
Before the Justice League arrives to fight them, the two criminals find themselves surrounded by the police. Getting ready for an attack, Firefly puts on his suit and preps his flamethrower. In response to the compact size of the flamethrower, Volcana says “That’s your flamethrower?” implying it’s too small. Firefly responds with a flirty “Wait till you see how I use it.”
12. FLASH’S VAN
The Flash was the main comic relief of Justice League, and one of his best moments came in the episode “Eclipsed.” After Green Lantern learns that Flash is starring in energy bar commercials, he scolds him on selling out his image — and with it, the League’s — for money. However, Lantern’s curiosity gets the better of him and he asks what Flash even needs the money for.
Enter the Flash Mobile, a “tricked out” van complete with a red and yellow paint job. Flash seems very proud of his purchase while GL seems weirded out. “What do you need a van?” Lantern asks, only to come to a realization and say “Wait, don’t answer that, I don’t wanna know.” Judging from the “groovy bachelor pad” interior of the van, we don’t wanna know either.
11. EMERALD IMPOTENCE
The Flash isn’t the only Justice League member who’s been the butt of sexual innuendo. He and Green Lantern were often at odds with each other, acting like arguing brothers most episodes. In one of their funniest, and dirtiest moments, Flash accidentally suggests John Stewart has trouble in bed.
In the episode “Hearts and Minds,” Green Lantern seeks to rescue his mentor and former fling, Katma Tui, from an alien cult. The two manage to free some of the cult’s victims, but John loses his ability to use his power ring. Katma plans to retrain him from step one, lest he wants to live with his “Emerald impudence.” Flash mishears this “impotence,” saying the word out loud before speeding off awkwardly. Well, it’s not like the word isn’t more accurate for John’s power loss.
10. ATOM’S RIDE ALONG
With Justice League Unlimited, there came a huge cast of superheroes that joined the League. Amongst them was Dr. Ray Palmer, aka The Atom — voiced by, strangely enough, John C McGinely, who you may know as Dr. Cox from Scrubs. The Atom appeared in a couple episodes of Justice League Unlimited, most notably in “Dark Heart,” where he helped the League take out an alien invasion that incorporates nanotechnology.
As an export in all things small, The Justice League fights to get Palmer as close as possible to the heart of the invasion to stop it. Wonder Woman is The Atom’s transport to the center of the invasion, carrying him in her hands while she fights the alien. However, as the fight intensifies, Wonder Woman needs both hands to fight and proceeds to tuck The Atom into her cleavage. Now that’s a great way to travel.
9. GOING A FEW ROUNDS
Black Canary and Green Arrow are one of comic books most iconic superhero couples, and Justice League Unlimited did a great job of exploring their relationship, especially in “The Cat and the Canary.” After learning that Wildcat is spending his time fighting in an underground bracket, Black Canary asks for Green Arrow’s help to get him out of it, as he’s the only one she trusts for “outside league business.”
When approaching Oliver about the unofficial mission, she finds him training in the gym with a punching bag. As a means to entice Oliver for help, Canary gets a little flirtatious, asking if the punching bag is enough or if he wanted to “go a few rounds” with her, quickly adding that she meant sparring. Oliver replies, just as flirtatious, “That’d be nice too.” Get a room you two.
8. HUNTRESS AND THE QUESTION
Speaking of couples, another notable Justice League Unlimited romance occurred between Huntress and The Question. The latter helped the vengeance-driven hero to track down her father’s killer, their closeness resulting in a budding relationship. And oh boy does Huntress like to make sexual innuendo in nearly all their scenes together.
After their first kiss (which grosses out Black Canary) Huntress pulls Question by his tie as he asks “where are we going,” to which Huntress answers “Don’t ask so many questions.” In a later episode, the two are talking on the phone and Huntress asks what Question is wearing, only for him to boringly list off the clothes that make up his costume, prompting Huntress to say “you really stink at this.” Oh, and let’s not forget the time she forced a date from Question by stuffing a data drive, which Question was eager to analyze, down her pants.
7. PROMISES, PROMISES
After the events of the series finale of Justice League, John Stewart and Hawkgirl’s relationship abruptly ended, and John moved on. In Justice League Unlimited, some time has passed and he has started a relationship with new League member Vixen. The two seem to have a playful relationship and Vixen is a rather flirty person, especially when the two are alone.
The episode “Hunter’s Moon” opens with just such a moment. In fact, Green Lantern seems to be minding his own business when Mari suddenly pulls him into a private room. John, always on the ready, charges his ring to attack, only to find Vixen was the one who ambushed him. Lowering his ring, John says “Do you know what I can do to you with this ring?” to which Vixen replies with a sultry, “Promises, promises.”
6. SHAYERA’S DRESS
Like we said before, at this point in the DCAU continuity, Shayera and John’s relationship is history, but Green Lantern wasn’t the only one who moved on… sort of. In the episode “Shadow of the Hawk,” Shayera goes on a date with Carter Hall, an archeologist seeking answers about ancient Thanagarian weapons found in Egyptian tombs. When leaving the Watchtower to head to dinner, Shayera runs into John while wearing a fancy dress, which John can’t take his eyes off of.
John isn’t the only one who likes the dress, Carter likes it too, as seen the next day when the two are investigating the tombs. When Shayera shows up in her usual outfit, Carter says “I miss the dress,” to which she responds with “you didn’t miss it last night.” I think we all know what she’s implying, wink wink.
5. THE ENTIRE TRACK TEAM AT ONCE
The Flash is pretty beloved by everyone, except for, maybe, John Stewart and a few other Leaguers. Regardless, like his comics counterpart, the Flash of the DCAU is so beloved by the people of Central City, they erected a Flash museum as tribute to his accomplishments. In the episode “Flash and Substance,” we see Flash at the opening of this museum.
Covering the opening for the local news is none other than Linda Park, Wally West’s longtime comics love interest and eventual wife. Before Linda cuts to a commercial, she has a bit of a freudian slip, too flustered by the Flash to speak straight, letting out, “When we come back, I’ll try to get with him… get to him.. for an interview…” She then follows up with a very raunchy “He’s a total babe. Like the entire track team at once.” We had no idea Linda was into that.
4. LEX GETS SOME “REST”
In an attempt to resurrect Brainiac, Lex Luthor believes he must forcibly take information from Gorilla Grodd’s head. At the same time, the Justice League is attempting to track Grodd through the psychic residue left in The Flash’s mind last time they fought. The two experiments happen simultaneously and result in The Flash and Lex Luthor switching bodies, Lex’s mind in The Flash, and The Flash’s mind in Lex.
This is a fun episode not just because the voice of The Flash, Michael Rosenbaum, was Lex Luthor on Smallville, but also because we get a lot of genuinely funny moments. The raunchiest one comes when Tala the sorceress thinks Lex isn’t acting like himself. She tells him to rest, pulling him into a room. Off-screen, we hear Lex say “Hey, that’s not resting!” implying that… well you get the idea.
3. SUPERGIRL COPS A FEEL
Just because her cousin is mister boy scout, doesn’t mean Supergirl is the same kind of goody-two-shoes. In fact, from most of her Justice League Unlimited appearances, she can be a bit immature, in more ways than one. Supergirl is a bit full of herself, yes, but the specific example we’re talking about comes from the episode “Far From Home,” which brings some of the Leaguers to the future where they meet the Legion of Superheroes.
Amongst the Legion is, of course, Brainiac 5, one of the only two Legionaries left from a mind-controlling scheme. During the chaos in trying to free the heroes from mind control, Supergirl manages to save Brainiac 5. After the save, Brainiac says “That was unnecessary, my belt protects me from any impact,” to which Supergirl replies, “Maybe I was just trying to cop a feel.” Take it easy, Supergirl.
2. SHAYERA’S WHIP SKILLS
In the episode “Ancient History,” we learn more about the background of Hawkman, Shayera and, surprisingly, Green Lantern. It turns out that John is also the reincarnation of someone tied to the Hawks’ past, Bashari, military leader of Egypt and secret lover of Chay-Ara Hol. The three heroes are forced to relive their original lives through the Absorbacron, which tells them the story of the Thanagarians who came to Egypt.
While trying to fight off The Shadow Thief, who is subjecting the three of them to this trip down memory lane, Shayera finds a whip. She quickly grabs it and uses it to hold back the Shadow Thief so that Hawkman can hit him. Unfortunately, Carter is too distracted by Shayera’s whip skills to attack, mentioning that she was “always good with that thing.” Guess Thanagarians are into some kinky stuff, eh?
1. BATMAN’S DNA
The series finale of Justice League Unlimited was less of an ending to JLU and more of an epilogue to Batman Beyond, which is probably why it was called “Epilogue.” The episode starts with Terry McGinnis breaking into Amanda Waller’s home to demand answers. Answers to what? Well, prior to his break-in, Terry found out he was Bruce Wayne’s Genetic son, prompting Amanda Waller to tell him the story of his true lineage.
In a Cadmus attempt to ensure that Batman always have a successor, Terry’s father’s reproductive DNA was replaced with Bruce Wayne’s. Where did Waller and Cadmus get Bruce’s DNA? Well, she gladly answers with “He left it all over town.” This prompts a raised eyebrow from Terry, to which Waller retorts with, “Not remotely what I meant.” Gross, Terry, get your mind out of the gutter.
Can you remember any other inappropriate jokes during Justice League? Let us know in the comments!
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