November 23rd is officially national "Tie One On Day." Now, while the actual day is meant for literally tying on an apron and performing acts of kindness for other people, our minds at CBR went elsewhere. Specifically, it inspired us to let our hair down and knock back a few for a good time. That’s not to say acts of kindness not fun in their own right, but sometimes people need a bit of a release with an adult beverage or two, especially during the holiday season. A friendly drink can be the best way to unwind after a stressful week or to make memories with friends. We at CBR can think of a few comic book characters that we’d love to raise our glasses with, so here below, we do just that.
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*CBR urges readers of legal age to drink responsibly.*
15 Matt Murdock
Never one to shy away from an occasional glass of liquor, Matt Murdock would make for a consistent drinking pal. One of the toughest to roam Hell’s Kitchen, Matt knows the importance of a beverage or two to unwind after defending the helpless by day and beating criminals to a pulp at night.
Murdock was predisposed to hard liquor during his heavier times in the comics, but in his television iteration he is far more companionable when he knocks back a few with Foggy at Josie’s Bar. Not only that, his heightened sense of taste would come in handy as well. Can’t remember what was in that special concoction you dug so much last week? Matt could give you the entire list of ingredients in no time. Murdock is also highly responsible when it comes to drinking, so he’d be sure to nab you a cab if you went particularly hard that night. What a nice guy!
14 Luke Cage
Who better to drink with than an actual bar owner? Luke Cage in his comic and television iterations owned a bar conveniently named “Luke’s Bar.” This guy would be a great buddy to drink with, even if he doesn't partake much himself, as he knows the ins and outs of an everyday pub. Luke is cool enough to let you know when you’re getting overcharged for cheap liquor and what top-shelf drinks are worth splurging on. Not only that, he is an incredibly laid back guy.
He would let you go as hard as you like without a judgmental eye and may even impart some friendly advice to your problems. If you have too many and try to start trouble, he’d kindly escort you out of the bar with minimal fuss. Even better, he discourages violence with calmness first, so he wouldn’t be the kind of drinking buddy that is itching for a fight after a few shots. Luke is cool and collected, and likely would be the perfect companion for a relaxing drink after a particularly tough day.
13 The Thing
For someone who truly knows the value of sharing a couple brewskies in the company of friends, look no further than The Thing. Ben Grimm is often the go-to guy for parties in the Marvel universe, as he often hosts gatherings for all of his super friends. More often than not, Ben would either put on poker game nights with beers on-hand, or frequented local bars. Friend or foe, Ben Grimm knew that a friendly drink could forge bonds between anyone. He even shared a beer or two with Sandman.
Grimm knows the importance of drinking with friends, as it’s the only time he feels comfortable enough to let loose and relax. He would make sure that anyone who consumed a few beverages alongside him would feel just as comfortable, if not more so. His attitude towards liquor is also a positive one, in that he makes sure it’s just enough to get the good vibes started and not go too overboard (most of the time anyway).
12 Armstrong
Everyone knows that funny, lovable drunk that often occupies a set spot in your local watering hole. Armstrong is that guy. An immortal who is apparently 10,000 years old, Armstrong largely spends his time drinking beer and getting into a few scrapes here and there. He usually drinks in the companionship of his younger counterpart Archer, and often does his best to get the youth to let loose.
Armstrong makes for one of the best drinking buddies because he is so incredibly well-rounded after his years traveling the world. He’s an easygoing guy, so conversation would always be free-flowing and never hit any awkward silences. More importantly, you’d likely be enthralled by the topics at hand rather than be bored to tears. He could regale you on his adventures throughout history, impart life hacks like no tomorrow and probably charm the pants off of you, in some cases, literally. Sharing a few rounds with Armstrong would be an experience far more refreshing than a typical beer on a Friday night.
11 Spider Jerusalem
Spider Jerusalem doesn’t just drink. He drinks, smokes and partakes in drugs as part of his everyday routine. Spider takes his vices seriously, as they are often utilized as a gateway for him to uncover new pieces of information in his muck-raking, journalistic endeavors. Granted, he probably goes far harder than any human being ought to, but he largely ends up on the right side of things after his terrific benders.
Imbibing alcohol alongside Spider isn’t for the casual drinker. You’re far more likely to end up entangled in a huge government cover-up conspiracy at the end of the night than landing a phone number. However, drinking with Spider could open you up to a whole new perspective on the world. You could see the injustices hiding in plain sight and be emboldened to put a stop to it. Most fans can agree Jerusalem has an interesting (if cynical) view on society and a strong sense of justice that is only amplified by the booze. Spider doesn’t do shots to end a bad day, he does it to start an amazing story.
10 Guy Gardner
Resident party man and well-known lush of the Green Lantern Corps, Guy Gardner always knew how to party. Aside from generally vexing fellow heroes on an everyday basis with his devil-may-care attitude about nearly everything, Gardner would often drink quite a bit. He eventually decided to open up his very own bar dubbed “Warriors” as a place for him and his friends to unwind in between missions. The bar itself is pretty dang cool, as it is superhero-themed and acts as a sort of museum for Guys’ adventures. Even when he moved it to Oa, the (currently destroyed) home planet of the Green Lanterns, it was a credit to the corps and a great place to unwind after a harrowing mission.
Imagine going to “Warriors” for a beer, and having the Lantern himself share a few glasses with you. All the while, he could regale you with the rich stories behind every item in the bar referencing his numerous adventures. If that wasn’t enough, you could strike up conversation with the super workers at the establishment, including Lady Blackhawk or Ted Grant. Or you could have a jar with Kilowog! Guy is indeed a man of many worlds (and quite a few words), and he’d be the best to introduce you to all of them over a few cold ones.
9 Wonder Woman
As far as Amazonians go, Diana Prince is one of the toughest around. Filling her days with fighting off evil doers, lassoing the truth out of bad guys and repelling attacks from rogue gods on Earth, even Wonder Woman knows the importance of having a drink or two to unwind. Even in this aspect, though, her toughness continues to shine. Amazonian women go incredibly hard with their libations, making our everyday average-joe liquor seem like ginger beer by comparison. This means the demigoddess will hardly be phased by an extra shot or two that you decide to order.
Now, while Wonder Woman may have a liver made of steel, she understands that a friendly drink is more an opportunity for fun, celebration and revels between friends and fellow warriors. Diana would be great to drink with, because the focus wouldn’t be the alcohol, but the happy atmosphere and great company that comes with it. Not only that, but if you’re too drunk to get home, she’d probably fly you there faster than an Uber... though depending on how much you drink, you might not want to look down in her invisible plane.
8 John Constantine
Not only is John Constantine a so-called “master of the dark arts,” he’s also a mean drinker. Constantine often finds himself with a bottle or glass of some boozy concoction in hand after a long day of sending demons back to hell. Sometimes his drinking even helps him, as more than once he’s met useful allies while knocking back a few at the pub, such as Zatanna.
John wouldn’t just be a good buddy to drink with, he’d be the perfect bar-hopping companion. With the sheer amount of people Constantine has come across over the years, he’s likely to have connections with every bartender in your area. He could traipse around town with you, schmooze with a couple folks and land you some free drinks! With enough convincing, John could probably get you into the Oblivion Bar, a watering hole for the finest magical folks. A night of drinking alongside John Constantine wouldn’t just be fun, it would have the potential to be literally out-of-this-world. But be warned, because the next day, you're likely to have a hell of a hangover.
7 Deadpool
Some folks just want to experience a crazy night of drinking once in their lifetime. With Deadpool you’ll be lucky to survive said night; but if you do, nothing will ever top it. Wade Wilson has been known to knock back more than his fair share and throw insanely crazy parties. One great example is his bachelor party, which pretty much ended in a massive battle, but (mostly) everyone escaped alive and still had a great time.
Deadpool isn’t picky with his liquor either. Rum, tequila, beer or even the frilliest of cocktails suits him just fine when it comes to getting lit (on fire). Wade is a character who thinks having limits will ruin a good time, so he’ll never be that guy chiding you when you order another round. Heck, Wade will probably be well ahead of you in that regard, and more than happy to have you catch up for a night of insanely un-sober fun.
6 Jesse Custer
Ever have one of those weeks where you’ve been put through the wringer and desperately need a drink with someone who won’t judge you? Look no further than Jesse Custer. You would think drinking with a preacher would be high on the “things to avoid” list, but Jesse makes for the best bud with whom to throw back a few. Not only does this man of god drink, he smokes, curses and frequently gets in bar fights to boot -- if that doesn't spell excitement, nothing does!
Always considerate of a budget, Custer isn’t picky with his drink choice either. Whether it be a cold beer or some historic scotch, Jesse is perfectly fine imbibing whatever alcohol is readily available. He especially enjoys drinking alongside his best vampire bro Cassidy, as the two often find themselves getting into trouble begotten from a night of liquor and bad decisions. You may get into a few scrapes when doing shots with Jesse Custer, but you’ll have plenty of stories to tell afterward.
5 Hellboy
Never let it be said that Hellboy can’t party. The paranormal investigator is an incredibly likeable and laid back dude, especially given all the weird stuff he fights and sees on a daily basis. This, in turn, makes him easy to get along with, and even better to drink beside. Many of his comic adventures actually influenced his palate for alcohol over the years. Hellboy developed a taste for tequila while traipsing across Mexico in the ‘50s, drank rum with ghost pirates and even convinced the sometimes uptight Abe Sapien to guzzle a few on occasion.
Hellboys’ true tastes, however, lay with a frosty beer. He had such a propensity for the brewed beverage that a red ale dubbed the “Right Hand of Doom” was made in honor of the character’s 21st birthday. Hellboy doesn’t need anything fancier than a cheap six-pack of Tecate to get the party rolling, though, which makes him the best buddy to hang with.
4 Wolverine
This fan-favorite mutant is known for more than just going into violent rages or quipping “bub” every so often: Wolverine also guzzles beer with the best. Logan is a character most often found in bars in the comics (and even in a few of his film appearances). Generally a solitary drinker, Logan is the type to allow for companionable silence when imbibing alcohol.
He can never be accused of being a chatty drinker, but if he gets enough in him, he’ll be sure to either delve into some reflective discussion or flat out insults to every person he dislikes... for as long as his merry chill lasts (the downside to his healing factor being that his buzz is often cut short). As an added bonus, his adamantium claws make it so you both will never go searching for a bottle opener again. So whether you’re in the mood for a pint and deep conversation or a cold import and venting session about your jerk of an ex, drinking with Wolverine is sure to be all kinds of good therapy.
3 Lobo
Now here’s a guy that has plenty of pints under his belt. Lobo has built a reputation on being a badass alien biker, which includes getting into plenty of bar fights and drinking contests in his downtime. Indeed, Lobo has often chosen the embrace of a cold beer over other priorities. One such example being when he decided to stop an all-out fight with Smite, citing that he’d rather just be getting drunk at the time. Sometimes, Lobo’s drinking worked in his favor, as when he got hammered at a local bar in Metropolis and managed to drunkenly track Superman to the Fortress of Solitude.
He’s a man (or close enough to one) of simple tastes, happy to enjoy cheap brews and a good cigar, which makes him a great buddy for a night out on the town. Lobo would willfully encourage you to let loose and knock back as many as you can in the name of a good time. You might wake up in a drunk tank with a splitting headache the next day, but no night after will ever compare to drinking with a dude like Lobo.
2 Volstagg
Asgardians largely borrow from Norse mythology, right down to their insatiable appetite for food, drink and general merriment outside of battle (or sometimes as a precursor to one). While some fans may agree that Thor is a well-renowned Asgardian drinker, his buddy Volstagg can put him to shame with the sheer grandness of his drinking prowess. Volstagg is the quintessential drinking warrior, often tearing through several pints and regaling others with stories of his many battles.
The Asgardian would make sure you always pace yourself properly too, as the man is rarely seen without a giant turkey leg or some sort of foodstuff accompanying his drinks. Get into a tiff with another bar patron? Volstagg will settle it with a friendly drinking contest and defeat them soundly. Indeed only a few, such as Hercules, have been able to match Volstagg’s iron liver, so you will be far from having to take care of the guy after he’s had too much. Drinking with this Asgardian wouldn’t just be an ordinary night at the pub, it would be a celebration full of ale and revels.
1 Hercules
Who better to share a drink with than one who’s partied with gods, and who partially is one, himself? Even though he's recently sworn off the stuff, Hercules was by and large one of the most revered drinkers in comics. The man was known for drinking the likes of Thor under the table in epic contests. One of his greatest achievements in drinking is when he clinked goblets with Galactus himself. It was more of a ploy to try and chill out the Devourer of Worlds, which failed in the end, but how many other folks can say they actually drank alongside such a great villain?
Point is, Hercules has some insane imbibing skills that would challenge you as a drinker. Granted, he’s put the bottle down in more recent arcs, but his spirit for greatness is still ever-present. He wouldn’t let you be content with your two-beer limit, instead pushing you to aspire to levels of intoxication unbeknownst to any mere mortal before him. Drinking with Hercules would be empowering, and the undoubtedly painful hangover you’ll get would be entirely worth the experience of toasting the son of Zeus.
Which comic book character would you like to have a drink with? Let us know in the comments!
*CBR urges readers of legal age to drink responsibly.*