Long before the masseuse and songstress married Mike Hannigan, played by Paul Rudd, she was Monica’s roommate. Phoebe is the most ethereal cast member, with confusion surrounding her age and backstory. However, her awkward charm, nonchalant musings, and eccentricities made Phoebe Buffay a fan favorite.
During the recent Friends reunion, Kudrow (in character) was praised by Lady Gaga, who joined her for a rendition of “Smelly Cat.” Lisa Kudrow beat out many famous actresses for the part, including Megan Mullally and Kathy Griffin. Kudrow brings warmth and innocence to the role. That makes it easy to forget just how complicated and complex Phoebe’s backstory has been.
10 Her Parentage Is The Result Of Polyamory
Phoebe is a very eccentric character, so it makes complete sense that the writers created an equally unorthodox family for her. She was conceived in a polyamorous relationship between three people: Phoebe, Lily, and Frank.
She is named after her biological mother, Phoebe Abbott, who was not ready to raise children and put her twin daughters up for adoption before leaving the tryst. As a result, the remaining couple, Lily and Frank, marry and raise babies Phoebe and Ursula together.
9 She Had A Troubled Home Life
Unfortunately, Phoebe and her sister did not have a stable home and family life. Frank divorced Lily when the twins were still very young and he abandoned his family. Lily eventually remarries. However, her second husband winds up in prison.
In her grief, Lily commits suicide by carbon monoxide poisoning. Phoebe sometimes makes light of losing her mother and tells Monica that she was a drug dealer. Her step-father is never named but is still presumed to be alive in prison.
8 She Has Two Siblings
Many fans know that Phoebe has a twin sister named Ursula. However, most will be unaware that the character is actually from another show. Ursula, played by Kudrow as well, was initially featured on Mad About You as a waitress and recurring cast member. Ursula was later folded into Phoebe’s backstory as her twin sister.
Additionally, while trying to track down her estranged father, Phoebe discovers that she has a half-brother named after their dad. Frank Snr. abandoned his second wife and son just as he did with his first family. Giovanni Ribisi plays Frank Buffay Jr.
7 She Was Homeless From A Young Age
After Lily’s suicide and with no parental figures around, the twins ended up homeless at the tender age of 14. They learned to survive on the harsh streets of New York City. At age 18, Phoebe claims that she was living out of a burnt car.
As a result of inconsistent or brilliant writing, Phoebe’s time being homeless is rife with outlandish stories. Her traumatic time on the streets is juxtaposed with her innocence. Phoebe appears to dislike anything subversive, which may be a defense mechanism after years of struggle.
6 She Has Lived With Interesting People & In Some Interesting Places
Fans are well aware that Phoebe used to be Monica’s roommate before Rachel. Due to Monica’s obsessive cleanliness, Phoebe slowly began moving out into her grandmother’s apartment. Phoebe completed her gradual move one year before the pilot episode by moving one piece of furniture at a time because she did not want to upset Monica by leaving suddenly.
Phoebe’s other roommates include an albino window-washer and a man named Sidney, who she claims talked to his hand. During an exchange with Ross and Chandler, Phoebe mentions that she had similar relationship troubles while living in Prague but did not elaborate.
5 She Never Went To High School Or College
Lisa Kudrow, unlike her onscreen counterpart Phoebe, has a Bachelor's degree in Biology. Kudrow has spoken openly about the difficulties of playing ditzy characters, particularly Phoebe. Matt LeBlanc helped her to overcome her anxiety about playing the role.
Due to being homeless and struggling to survive, Phoebe did not have the privilege of completing high school or attending college. Instead, Phoebe’s inquisitive and wandering nature provided a real-world education. Her colorful, uneducated worldview is often shown with her interest in New Age trends and quirky beliefs.
4 She’s Fluent In French & Speaks Some Italian Too
Despite her lack of formal education, Phoebe learned French by regularly meeting with some unnamed people behind a dumpster.
She’s also shown to have picked up some Italian, once speaking with Joey’s grandmother, Nonnie. It is possible that she only understands particular regional dialects because she does not understand Rachel’s Italian boyfriend, Paolo.
3 She Has A Criminal Record
Growing up homeless and fighting to survive, Phoebe occasionally had run-ins with the law. When she believes that she is going to be arrested by a security guard, Phoebe exclaims that she will never return to jail, implying that she has spent time there.
Some of her crimes include stabbing a police officer, though she insists he stabbed her first. She sometimes mugged people to survive, and one of her victims, at age 14, was Ross.
2 She’s Handy In A Fight
Her personality on the show makes it easy to believe that Phoebe is innocent and child-like. However, Phoebe learned to defend herself while living on the streets. She describes an encounter with a pimp who gave her hepatitis. On another occasion, she mentions being chased around by an escaped mental institution patient on her sixteenth birthday.
During a playful sparring match with Joey, where she draws blood, Phoebe reveals that she learned to box while staying at the YMCA. Her light-hearted description of the events suggests that she may have been sexually assaulted while staying there.
1 She Was Once Married
Early in the show’s ten-year run, it is revealed that Phoebe is married to a Canadian ice dancer named Duncan. Phoebe secretly marries him so that he can become a United States citizen, but falls in love with him. Unfortunately, she is left heartbroken when he leaves to pursue his career.
Duncan first appears as a gay man, and the marriage is one of convenience. However, he later returns to ask Phoebe for a divorce so that he can marry another woman after realizing that he wasn't gay after all.