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Flippin’ through Previews – April 2016

by  in Comic News Comment
Flippin’ through <i>Previews</i> – April 2016

It’s time to check out Previews #331, if you can handle it!!!! (And by “it” I mean Travis’s annoying commentary!!!!)

Remember, Travis is in blue, I’m in black. It’s just that easy!

Dark Horse:

Full solicits!

Page 46 — the Dark Horse Day Sampler looks fun. That Sin City story is creepy fun, and AVP and Buffy and Umbrella Academy are fun.

The sampler does look pretty keen. I am a bit wary that there’s no price on it, though. “Please Inquire” about the price? How about ZERO DOLLARS, Dark Horse?!?!?!?

I think it’s because your retailer has a certain price that they pay to get the packages that include the sampler, and they don’t want the riffraff customers knowing. I’ll ask my guy if he’s going to get any!

Page 47 — tons of cool relists, for those of us who don’t have a complete DH library!

Page 48 — Mike Richardson says there’s a huge Neil Gaiman project coming from DH this fall!

Page 51 — That’s nice. The Prometheus preview features a guy’s head getting splattered. Yet some of the previews won’t put swear words or nudity in them.

Violence is all-American, man!

So are tits and swearing, though, dammit!

Page 58 — Weird Detective 1 of 5 — the DHP story was ok, so I’ll be trade waiting this! (Did you get the Resurrectionists trade, reoffered here? How was that?)

Yeah, Weird Detective was okay. I too will wait for the trade. I like Resurrectionists a lot – the writing was good, the art was great – but it did end on a cliffhanger, and who knows if it’s ever going to continue, so there’s that. Frustrating.

Well, unless I’m really vicious in cutting other stuff or really carefree with pre-ordering, it probably won’t make the cut because there are too many other neato things!

Page 61 — Creepy 24 — that cover — who can’t do that? New Corben story but the last issue! So sad.

Page 63 — Ok, I guess they do let some swear words in the previews. Cryptocracy 1 drops f-bombs like crazy! Sounds spooky — in trade!

Cryptocracy does sound pretty neat. I mean, it’s a conspiracy story, so it will probably hit all the annoying tropes, but Van Jensen is a pretty good writer (when he’s not writing for DC!), and Pete Woods is a good artist, so this is something to check out. I’m not sure if I should wait for the trade, though. I might actually get the single issues!

Yeah, just when I start deciding to play the tradewaiting game hard, they start shifting the field so you can’t rely on a certain price point, and upping the prices on collections and singles so that one isn’t necessarily a better deal than the other. DAMN YOU, COMICS COMPANIES, FOR TRYING TO MAKE MONEY!!!

Page 65 — Alena TP — ooh, spooky dead friend stuff! The comparison they make to Let Me In/Let the Right One In scares me, because the original furrin film was dull as hell. Even the bit where someone gets set on fire was so remote of an experience that there was no impact. But I could just be an artless heathen.

I haven’t seen Let The Right One In, because I’m even more of an artless heathen! But Alena does sound okay. I’ll have to think about it.

Page 66 — Bird Boy TP 2 — anyone get v1? How was it?

I didn’t read Bird Boy volume 1. I had no interest!

Page 69 — Kings Road TP — I was waiting for this trade, as it sounded neat enough, and I like Peter Hogan. I’m probably in!

Also on page 69 — Polar HC 3 — I can’t remember, did you like this book? More the stories, because obviously the art is awesome.

The first two volumes of Polar are okay. The writing is pretty basic, and Santos doesn’t deviate too much from standard spy templates, but because the art is so amazing, it makes the stories work a bit better. I’m totally getting volume 3, in other words.

Since the series appears to be over with this volume, I may need to pick these up. I liked the one story in DHP, so there’s that. He was Steranko-ing all over the place there!

Page 70 — Tarzan Complete Joe Kubert Years TP — ooh mama. I have an issue of this, and it was cool, so I may go for this. Kubert at the top of his game, on one of the classic characters of pulpy lit — I’m guessing Hatcher’s in. I may be too! Holy crap, has it really been almost 5 years since I saw Joe Kubert and pissed him the hell off?

Yeah, that Joe Kubert Tarzan book is keen. Only 30 bucks!

Page 71 — DH/DC Superman complete TP — ooh, this is pretty good stuff. I’ve heard the Tarzan crossover was decent. I read the first Aliens one and it was decent (Nowlan inking/finishing Jurgens, iirc, and that’s pretty good looking). The gem, of course, is the Madman crossover, which I have, but is so damn good, I still may go for this book anyway!

I have one issue of the Superman/Tarzan crossover, and that was because I got it back when I still did Into the Back Issue Box (sorry, the late and lamented Into the Back Issue Box!). It was okay, I guess – I’m not a huge fan of Meglia’s art, but it’s not terrible. As someone who’s not terribly interested in Superman, this isn’t an automatic purchase for me, but it’s a good value, so I’ll have to think about it.

Not terribly interested in Superman. Why don’t you move to Russia, you love it so much?

DC:

[Despite the editor’s objections to covering DC because fuck them for not getting their shit together in time, the minion insisted on checking out the on-line catalog, which you can find here. So let’s do this thing!]

Page 33 — DC Universe Rebirth 1 — it brings back hope. HAHAHAHA!!! Maybe you shouldn’t have killed it back with Identity Fucking Crisis, then, huh?

Page 35 — is that supposed to be Lois on the cover? Why do they insist on giving Superman a kid? It didn’t work with Johns’s run with that “Chris” kid a few years back, why try it again?

I would love it if, in that stupid Superman’s son story, we got Superman sitting Young Supes down (I’m sure he’s named “Jonathan”) and saying, “Listen, son, my father gave me some absolutely shitty advice about not helping people who were about to die because he thought everyone in the world sucked. I don’t want to live in that kind of world, son, so fuck that old fossil. Help people first and if others want to be dicks about it, deal with that later.” Come on, DC!!!!

Hells yeah! I loved Hatcher’s piece about Jonathan Kent (I’m betting you’re so right about the son’s name!) the other week and Dread Lord’s oh so subtle commentary on another aspect of the DC movie-verse with that KGBeast column. Oh DC, will you ever learn?

Man, that Superman costume redesign for Action Comics (page 36). Superman has the easiest and probably best superhero costume ever. HOW CAN DC KEEP FUCKING IT UP?!?!?!?!?

Well, the classic look came later on with Shuster, as the chest symbol and some other stuff were different at first. But yeah, his costume is awesome. I don’t know why the red shorts are anathema, and I really hope that’s just a corner of the cape wrapping around his hip and not some half assed nod to the shorts to break up the all blue. But blue boots with red lines? WTFugly?

Page 39 — Someone trying to save Gotham City from Batman is an interesting premise, but I haven’t read any Tom King stuff yet (I don’t think), and Finch is dullsville to me.

Tom King is the hawt writer right now. He’s okay, I guess. Finch on Batman just doesn’t do it for me, even though Finch on Moon Knight was pretty great. That’s weird.

Page 40 — So Batwoman is training Red Robin? I know she was military, but isn’t he still Tim Drake and did the superhero thing for a while so far, and longer than she’s been at it?

Re: Batwoman and Robin (fuck no I will not call him Red Fucking Robin): it’s not smart to think about the new DC timeline, young man. That way lies madness!

Page 44 — Flash gets another dude named Carmine drawing him.

Page 49 — holy shit, is Green Arrow fighting a gang of Wild Dog guys?

Yes, Green Arrow is fighting Wild Dog guys.

Many of these stories will change the characters forever. Since that’s never been done before.

Both Flash and Titans spin out of the DCU Rebirth book, so that suggests that hand is Wally West. But who cares, he won’t be the same guy.

Page 53 — Wacky Raceland 1 — OMFG. OMFG. In general, I’m not a fan of this terminology, but they’re totally raping people’s childhoods here, aren’t they? “You’re thinking of the Wacky Races!” “Oh yes, they could get pretty wacky!” (for all the Venture Bros fans! What a great season 6 was!)

I’m dying to read Wacky Raceland, honestly. I can’t imagine how it won’t be a train wreck. The Scooby thing just looks bad, while this looks gloriously insanely bad. “What if we took our old goofy characters and put them in Mad Max: Fury Road?” said the DC execs. How could you not love the clusterfuck this will be?!?!?!?

With this and Scooby Apocalypse, it’s like DC read Weapon Brown and thought, hey, let’s do that, but without the awareness that this is pissing all over the original premises, which were, after all, intended for children. Oy.

Page 55 — then they do something that sounds like it could be good, with DC Super Hero Girls TP 1 Finals Crisis — great title! The artist on this, Yancey Labat, drew the Deadpool 0 issue from Wizard from the late ’90s that was fun, and interestingly, in the last few years, he and his wife had the first baby of the year in an area not too far from where I live. I wonder why he’s never at the con up there … But I’m liking this just based on the fact that it’s got Principal Waller. I hope she’s zaftig again!

Page 56 — Teen Titans Earth One HC 2 — Andy MacDonald does the art, and I should see him at the con that I haven’t seen Labat at, in about 2 weeks.

Page 60 — Deathstroke Annual 2 has a bad guy called the Balkan. They’re stealing from General Hospital now!

I don’t watch soap operas, so I don’t get your GH reference.

Someone will get it, laugh, and I will be vindicated for making the reference, dammit!

Page 65 — Harley’s Little Black Book 4 has her meet the Bombshells version of herself, with art by Billy Tucci. They’re covering their ears on the cover. Is it just from the dropping shells, or is there something Louder Than Bombs? HAHAHA!

Page 68 — Adventures of Supergirl 3 and 4 — ensuring that female led comics from DC have no chance, here’s digital first comics going to print only once they figured out, hey, people might want to read comics based on the fucking TV show. Good job DC, of offering issues 1 and 2 last month. Oh wait, you didn’t. Good thing my guy is on the ball and ordered some when Diamond sent him emails about it. I may trade wait, because I thought I heard it was just 6 issues, but I could be wrong. Did the TV show get cancelled? Or maybe moving to the CW? I saw something like that but I wasn’t sure if it was at a trustworthy net source.

That’s really weird about those digital-first Supergirls. What a weird thing. And as far as I know, the show is fine and it’s not moving to CW. They just had a very funny crossover with the Flash, which is a CW show, but that was a one-off.

Also on page 68 the Looney Tunes 231 issue is an homage to that classic cartoon where Daffy keeps getting changed by the animator, who turns out to be…well, I won’t spoil a 60+ year old cartoon!

I am the Bat! Ow, I keep getting my tongue stuck in the slit! It’s maddening! I thought I might be interested in the Dark Knight Returns book and mask set, but that one and the Harley Quinn one are such creepy looking masks! No way man! (page 70)

That Harley mask will haunt my nightmares.

Blow up dolls think she’s trying too hard!

Also on page 70 is Absolute Batman Year One HC, which is pricey, of course, but includes 2 volumes, one with the newer recolored version, and one on more newsprint-y paper with the original colors and the scripts and pencil layouts. Oooh, so tempting!

Page 71 — Batman Noir Killing Joke HC — I thought they were crediting Bolland as co-writing KJ, but it also includes that creepy ass awesome story he wrote and drew for the original run of Batman Black and White. KJ might be interesting in B&W. I wonder if the original art, which apparently showed more in that one scene (you know which), will appear. I actually don’t own Killing Joke, and the B&W version might be fun, because I like my wimmin fridgin’ without the color so I can draw the blood on myself.

Also on page 71 is the Batman/TMNT HC, which at 25 bucks means I will wait and see if the trade is cheaper or if my local libraries get a copy.

Page 72 has the awesome collection Batman the Brave and the Bold Bronze Age Omni HC, which collects #87-122, which seems to be a somewhat arbitrary chunk to collect. Looks like a lot of awesome, though!

Page 73 has Daring Adventures of Supergirl TP 1, which are ’80s stories. Not sure if they are worth it.

Page 74 has Graphic Ink DC Art of Gary Frank HC — I like his stuff, mostly, but his depiction of Superman as Christopher Reeve is creepy to me!

Also on 74, Demon TP 2 — more Ennis/McCrea? Thank you DC.

At least DC got a second volume of the Demon out! That’s good news!

Page 75 has a sweet collection — DC Elseworlds Justice League TP 1 — I may have to get this. League of Justice was ok, from what I remember (although I’m blanking on what the concept is), Justice Riders looks awesome. I don’t know what the Elseworlds Finest stuff is. Titans Scissors Paper Stone by Adam Warren is one I’ve always wanted, as is Wonder Woman Amazonia, which is by William Messner-Loebs and Phil Winslade. I think I’m in!

I’ll have to get that Justice League Elseworlds book. Seems keen.

Also on page 75, Green Arrow by Kevin Smith TP — surprisingly, this isn’t awful stuff. The Phil Hester art helps, definitely.

I have the first 12 issues, I think, of Kevin Smith’s Green Arrow. You’re right – it’s not bad.

Page 76 has Suicide Squad TP 4, the Janus Directive. I may need this because I don’t know if I can find all the other crossover issues. On the Previews site at first, this was listed as a HC at 40 bucks, and that was crazy talk.

I’ll have to get that Suicide Squad collection, because I don’t own any of the Janus Directive except the SS issues. You might think that’s a good thing, but I don’t care!!!!

I hope they adapt that for the second SS movie (man, that abbreviation …), and then they can call the porn parody the Anus Directive. I am so juvenile!

It’s crazy talk for the Suicide Squad Silver Age HC on page 77, which is a 40 buck HC (listed as a 25 buck TP on Previews still, though!). Sure, it’s hard to find, never been reprinted yet stuff, but they’re really hoping to cash in on the movie. Won’t people be mad when Joker and Harley aren’t in this? I hope it comes out in trade instead, but who knows what the hell they’ll do?

I really want to get that Silver Age Suicide Squad book, but you’re right – it’s a bit pricey. But it’s Bob Fucking Kanigher!!!!

Also on page 77 is the HC of Superman American Alien. It got highly starred reviews at the mothership, but I’ll wait until a trade or the library.

Also on page 77 is the Wonder Woman by Rucka TP 1. When he was announced as the new WW writer, I wasn’t surprised based on having seen this solicit ahead of time. I think I’ve read at least part of this run, but it wasn’t anything special, I don’t think.

Rucka’s Wonder Woman is pretty good, until the very end, where it goes sideways a bit.

Was the end the Infinite Crisis stuff, with Max Lord and all that? Hoo boy, that was stinko!

The Girl Power Amanda Conner Gallery is probably cool, since she’s great, but it has that damn Before Watchmen stuff! I assume this needs to be an extra size book to contain Power Girl, amirite?

Page 86 — Sheriff of Babylon TP 1 — not sure on this one, though. I didn’t get what made this a Vertigo book, honestly. But I may go for it, at 15 bucks for 6 issues.

Also on page 86, Red Thorn TP 1 — I was waiting on this, and I’ve been trying to get all the new Vertigo trades. I read a positive review of this writer’s novel, so I had my eye on this. Plus, this has 7 issues for 15 bucks! Even more gooder of a deal!

I’ll probably check out Sheriff of Babylon, but probably skip Red Thorn. I’m just wacky that way!

Page 91 — while the Mutant Leader figure’s nipples are disturbing, they still aren’t as bad as how Miller drew them in DKR.

Page 92 — oy. The Amanda Conner designed traditional Harley Quinn figure comes with a pet beaver. Oy.

Page 93 — that DKR Joker statue in B&W does look neat.

Page 94 — DC Superpets Plush dolls are cute — Joker Fish and Osito, Bane’s teddy bear! Is that a real thing from the comics?! That’s awesome!

I’ve never seen Bane’s teddy bear. But it’s been a while since I paid attention to Bane.

Page 96 — ooh mama, those DC Bombshells statues of Halloween Batgirl and Raven. Oh my!

IDW:

Page 88 — TMNT Bebop and Rocksteady Destroy Everything 1-5 — this might be a fun trade in a while. Sophie Campbell is on it, as well as Dustin Weaver and Nick Pitarra. I was just the right age for the TMNT cartoon, although I remember nothing of it now, so this does tickle my nostalgia buttons. Which may be illegal in some states!

I have no interest in the TMNT thingy, even with the good artists on it. I care nothing for the Turtles. NOTHING, COLONEL KLINK!

That was from our jokes for senior citizens department …

Page 101 — Apparently issue 13 is the double size finale of Transformers vs GI Joe. This was a fun book when I read the first trade. Maybe they’ll do a big Omni collection of it and I’ll buy it in that form.

I liked the first trade of Transformers/G.I. Joe, but I didn’t love it. I’ll probably get the second one, unless they do publish an over-sized giant edition (Scioli’s art would look sweet in bigger-than-usual form).

Ooh, yeah, an oversized edition of the whole shebang would be neato. I’m versed enough in the Transformers and GI Joe mythoses (if that’s not a word it ought to be!) to geek out on the book, and Scioli was doing great stuff, so I may have dug the trade more than you did.

Page 103 — ACTION!!! Well, I thought this was a Captain Action thing at first, but I guess Action Man is some Hasbro thing or something. I dunno, the cover is cool looking, at least.

I guess this is the last Jem issue with Sophie Campbell (page 104)? That’s disappointing. I wish she could come back for every other arc or so. So sad!

Yeah, I hope she returns to the book at some point. Kelly did inform us last time that Jem endures, so maybe!

Page 106 — GODZILLA TREASURY EDITION!!! STOKOE ON GODZILLA AT A LARGER SIZE!!! HOLY CRAP I’M IN!!! Ahem. Yeah, I can get that first issue of Godzilla in Hell that I passed on, as well as Stokoe covers and the first issue of Half Century War that I did buy. It will be sweet!

Yeah, the Stokoe Godzilla Treasury Edition will be sweet. I own the one they did for The Ghoul, and Wrightson’s big art is very keen. Even though I own these, I still might get this!!! It’s Stokoe, people! Buy it!!!!

I own The Ghoul one too, but *cough cough* haven’t read it yet. I have a couple other IDW treasuries, like a Judge Dredd one and the Jem covers one, and I’ve even read the Cape one and the Starstruck one! It’s a fun format!

I don’t know if the Ulises Farinas/Erick Freitas/Dan McDaid Judge Dredd is good, but the first four issues are in trade on page 109. It is, unfortunately, slightly more expensive than the single issues (I assume they were all 4 dollars, although who knows with IDW), but that might be keen.

As I recall, they were in fact 4 bucks a pop. I may have to look for the singles at shops (and with FCBD coming, there are bound to be cool sales at my local shops!)

Page 110 — I guess that William Gibson comic Archangel is 5 issues long.

At least, with that Archangel, they didn’t keep the price at $4.99 each. The first issue is supposed to be a bit longer than usual, so you are actually getting something for your extra dollar. So this will be something to trade-wait!

Page 111 — Tales from the Darkside 1 of 4. I like Joe Hill mostly, and Gabriel Rodriguez is quite good, even though I didn’t quite get into Locke and Key. Man, that Rubik’s Cube looks to be wicked easy!

Yeah, I’m not impressed with tentacle man’s Rubik’s Cube skillz.

Page 113 — Luna the Vampire TP 1 is, I believe, 3 issues for 10 bucks. Monsters in outer space sounded like cute fun, so I might go for this.

Also on page 113 — Wild Blue Yonder TP. I bought the HC from writer Mike Raicht himself. I better read it soon, both to let y’all know how it is and so I can tell him how I liked it when I see him at a con in 2 weeks. 2 WEEKS?!?! Ah, crap, I’ll never be ready in time. Buyer beware, the Previews site listed this as 24.99 but the book says 19.99. The HC is 29.99, so if the trade is the higher price, just spring for the HC. Good for killin’ spiders and stuff.

Wild Blue Yonder is pretty good. It’s a standard action-adventure story, with the nice added bonus of taking place in the air, and Zach Howard’s art is pretty great. It’s worth it at 20 dollars, but yeah, caveat emptor on the price and all.

Page 115 — Will the 4 issues of The Rocketeer at War come out before the trade is scheduled in July? I dunno, but I’ll probably go for this!

Haven’t they gotten two issues of the Rocketeer series out? That’s not bad!

Yeah, but I thought there was a wicked delay between 1 and 2. Not Fell long, of course, but what is?!

Page 122 — Bacchus omni GN 2 — I wan’it I wan’it! Why didn’t they resolicit the first one so I could get that, too?

And if I didn’t have the Alec book in HC from one of Top Shelf’s sweet (and sadly discontinued) web sales, I’d go for the Eddie Campbell omnibox, collecting Alec and the 2 Bacchus volumes.

I wasn’t impressed with Bacchus volume 1, so I’ll be skipping volume 2. I would like to read Alec, but not in that package!

Heathen! Wait, if you liked Bacchus, that would make you more of a heathen, wouldn’t it? D’oh! (Paganism joke!)

Page 123 — Fun Family GN — oh look, someone is using Family Circus as commentary that families aren’t as nice as they appear from the outside. SCATHING!

And with that sick burn, let’s move on!

Image:

Page 126 — Jupiter’s Legacy v2 #1 — I know you’re not a Millar fan, but for the most part the first volume was decent. I wasn’t big on the whole everyone kill bit in there, but there were some good things with living up to parental expectations and some meta bits. I’ll go for the trade of this in a few years! HA!

Regarding Jupiter’s Legacy – I just find it humorous that it has taken Quitely longer to draw it than I even joked about, 30 years ago when he first started it! I figure it might take him a decade to draw 10 issues, and here we are, 30 years later, and my daughter (who was born right when he started it) is getting married and I’m considering voting for Trump because I hate those durn furriners. I mean, come on, Quitely, speed it up a little bit!

And no, I’m still not buying it.

Page 130 — Midnight of the Soul 1 of 5 — Chaykin. I’m guessing the hero is a stand in for him? Again. Hell, he uses that same reaction shot in the last panel of the preview in all of his work!

God, that Chaykin art is so terrible. Come back, good Chaykin! We miss you!

In the back of the Black Kiss II XXX-Mas in July Special from a year or two back, there was a back matter bit about his process in more recent years, utilizing Photoshop and such, and I wonder if his art is suffering from him getting the layouts done and then plugging in characters and stuff, and it’s not as organic as it used to be with his work.

Page 134 — She Wolf 1 — If I like Dark Corridor I’ll get the trade of this, sounds like a neat werewolf book. I assume if this character is in a closet, one should open it up and set her free.

Yeah, I like the way Tommaso is drawing She Wolf – fewer holding lines, a bit more impressionistic … it’s neat. I’ll have to check this out.

That’s true, it does look neat, like something from RAW.

Yay, a new issue of Casanova on page 138!!!!! Why it’s called “Acedia #5” when it’s a new story arc is beyond me. I like the four-issue arcs that feature a different deadly sin. I wonder if that title is a weird misprint. I don’t care, though, because Casanova is back!!!!!!!

I’m so far behind on it! What a surprise, right? I’d think they might want to do a new number one, but maybe they want to buck the trend!

Page 141 — I Hate Fairyland Coloring Book TP — hey, seeing Skottie Young’s stuff in B&W might be worth it.

Is the cover of The Fix #3 (page 153) going to have black bars on it, or are they just going to show boobs on the cover? Come on, Image, have some cojones and go with the latter!

Actually, that’s what her breasts look like. They’re off to FIX her bad boob job! HA!

Page 160 — Saints, after saying 8 of 10 last month, is now 9 of 9 this month. I’ll get the trade whenever that comes.

Page 161 — I’ll have to pay more for Sex each month with #29!!!

Page 164 — Well, I guess Starve is over with issue #10. I wonder if that was the original intent.

Yeah, I saw that Starve was ending. I can’t imagine Wood wanted it to end – it seems like it can’t really end on a decent note with issue #10 – but like Rebels, I assume it just wasn’t selling. I know, a comic about a celebrity chef in a climate-impacted future didn’t sell well. SHOCKING!!!!

I thought “Sunshine and Roses” (page 164) ended with issue #15. Yet here is issue #16. It’s the longest story arc in recorded history!!!!!

The longest story arc for Stray Bullets, I assume you mean. Not in the medium, of course! (Don’t make me start rattling off longer arcs! I’ll do it!)

Page 167 — Adventures in the Rifle Brigade TP — I have the first issue of Operation Bollock, and it was ok. I may get this. More Ennis that DC gave up on!

I actually quite like Adventures in the Rifle Brigade. It’s absolutely ridiculous, but lots of fun, too. And that’s a good price!

I may back issue dive a bit first, see if I can find the original stuff cheap, but yeah, I might just go for this, since it was fun.

Page 168 — Blue Monday TP 1 — holy crap, how did Oni lose this one? I’m in, because I never got this stuff but I wanted it. I dig me some blue haired girls!

I’ll have to check out Blue Monday. It’s one of those books I’ve always known about but never read. Good to see it here!

So you’re saying that if each of us gets it, there will be 2 New Orders for it? (HAHAHAHA, I kill me!)

[Editor: Travis has been taken behind the chemical sheds and given a stern talking-to, you can be sure. Were jumper cables attached to his testicles? Well, I’m not saying they weren’t applied to his testicles …]

Page 169 — Carbon Grey omni TP — this book looked interesting, so I might go for it. Assassins and hot chicks and stuff. Don’t judge me! (Well, not any further, anyway …)

Page 170 — Citizen Jack TP — A guy running for president with a demon on his side just isn’t realistic in this election cycle.

Yeah, I have no interest in Citizen Jack. But I do like how it has become a documentary!

Page 172 — Monstress TP 1 — this one looked purty, and 10 bucks for 6 issues is a damn good deal. I’m in.

I’ve been waiting for Monstress in trade, because it’s such a nice-looking comic. But the price is nice, too!

Page 174 — Velvet TP 3 — finale? Is this book all over? I’m so far behind!

I don’t know if Velvet is over. I rarely read the solicit information, because I’m getting it anyway, but I didn’t see anything unusual about issue #15’s information. I guess they could just mean the explosive finale of the arc. I guess we’ll see, won’t we? I could find out, but then I’d have to do research, and no one wants that!

Yeah, what do you people want from a free column like this? Actual work and knowledge? C’mon! That said, I don’t recall seeing a solicit for an issue 16 yet, but that doesn’t necessarily mean anything. Some books take more than just a month or 2 off from Image these days!

Marvel:

I foresee something bad coming — Civil War II!

The start of the book tells us about Civil War II and lets us know that the subtitle should be the Snoozening.

If Lincoln had lived we would have gotten this in the 1870s, y’know.

No one says, hey, Tony, remember how you were an asshole during the whole Registration thing? Why don’t you calm the fuck down this time, then? Dickhead.

Also, there is a Hot Wheels variant cover for the first issue. Yeah. That’s a thing.

I like how in the first Civil War, Iron Man was all “government law and order,” and now, because he’s so Robert Downey Cool, he’s outside the system taking the law into his own hands, man! Tony’s a total rebel, yo! Also: I would totally buy this if it was just every hero that he encounters reminding him of that last time he was a total dick. That would be awesome. Also: Jesus with the Inhumans, Marvel! Stop trying to make “fetch” happen!

Or a character just says to Tony at some point something like: you’re going to turn this into another Civil War! Then turn to the reader and wink. I’d buy that.

On page 14, we’re told that Hercules, being a God, may be “responsible for a larger roll in the potential destruction”. A roll with lots of butter and gravy, I hope.

Maybe Hercules is the God of Bakers and he can just bake the biggest roll ever, which he then use to crush his enemies and hear the lamentations of the women!

Woohoo, lamentations!

Page 26 — Vote Loki 1 — you’ll get, what, 3 issues of the book out before the real election, and it won’t be anywhere near as weird as real life! Anyway, he can’t run, he’s not native born! I do like that beLIEve poster cover, though.

Yeah, Vote Loki sounds like a terrible idea. Gah.

Page 35 — Dazzler-Thor, mofos! Kelly made that happen, with Ben Caldwell’s help. KNEEL BEFORE DOOM!

Page 37 — wait, there’s a young witch named The Wu in an issue of Scarlet Witch DRAWN by Annie Wu?!?! Wha?!?!

The Scarlet Witch thing is sooooooo weird, man!

Page 47 — so, was Joe Kelly only on one arc of Spider-Man/Deadpool?

Re: Joe Kelly. I … guess? Although it seems like this might be a one-off, so who knows.

I like the typo in the Carnage solicitation: “Carange.” It sounds like a sound effect, like when you hit your head on a metal drawer that someone left sticking out: “CARANGE!!!!!”

I was totally going to mention the Carnage misspelling but thought it’d be nitpicky. Nitpickier, anyway. I heard on the NPR that the kids all like that apparently people who are compelled to point out typos are grumpy, jerky, possibly sociopathic. Which is accurate, of course, but I don’t need to make it so obvious, right? (page 55)

On the cover of Silver Surfer #6 (which is claimed to be the 200th issue of Silver Surfer), we see old issues of Fantastic Four. How is Marvel counting this? Is it really the 200th issue of a Silver Surfer comic, or are they counting issues of FF and others where he’s featured prominently? These things keep me up at night.

Well, looking at GCD, there are a number of SS books that might count. The original series in ’68 was 18 issues, the ’80s-’90s run lasted 148, there was a 14 issue series in ’03-’04, a 5 issue mini in ’11, the first Slott/Allred run was 15 issues and this is the 6th ish of the new run. That makes…um, 206. Even if that mini doesn’t count, they’re an issue off. Wait, that long run was 146 issues, plus the minus 1 (they list 100 twice for some reason), so knock another off and I guess that’s what they’re counting. But even still, there have been other SS titled books. GRRR!!! My OCD is kicking in! (page 58)

Page 63 — Drax 8 has Planet Terry? The Star Comics character?!

I didn’t read Star Comics, so I don’t know about Planet Terry. I guess it’s the same character, because Marvel seems to be implying that it’s something surprising.

Page 69 — that is a sweet Punisher cover. DIE!

Black Panther (page 70) is “the most anticipated Marvel series since Whedon & Cassaday’s ASTONISHING X-MEN!” Really? If that’s true, it means that nobody cares about Marvel comics unless they get a celebrity from outside comics to write them. That’s pretty sad.

Maybe it just means that Stelfreeze will be as slow as Cassaday, and we’ll be anticipating the next issue for long periods of time. He’s not a fast artist, so I hope there were plenty of issues in the can.

Page 88 — Deadpool V Gambit 1 of 5 — KICK HIS ASS! This sounds like it could be silly fun, and that variant cover with the two of them holding a kissing booth is amusing.

You should never mention even a passing interest in Gambit comics again, sir. That’s enough to get you kicked off the Previews beat!!!!!

But if he gets punked, then it’s totally ok, right? OK, I admit, he’s dreamy! I said it!

Page 90 has the neat idea of a 4 part crossover in one issue, in Deadpool 13, roping in Daredevil and Power Man & Iron Fist. But it’s a bit too pricey.

A bit pricey for that Deadpool “crossover”? Really? Thor volume 2 had 10 more pages (I assume this will be 80 real pages, not 96, because each story is 20 pages long), and it cost 10 more dollars. So yeah, you might avoid this for any number of reasons, but it’s 6 dollars cheaper than four standalone issues of Marvel comics, so price ain’t one of them, son.

Dammit, there you go having to go all math on me and disprove my half baked babbling! Do I have to bring up Gambit again?

Page 93 has Old Man Logan protecting a town which includes among its residents “the girl who will one day grow up and become his wife”. Because that’s not creepy at all.

Page 99-101 — Timely Comics ironically isn’t. It’s a good idea, the first 3 issues of new titles for 3 bucks, but all of these books are either offered in trade or about to be. Why spend even 3 bucks if I decide I’ll just go for the trade? Maybe I could get some of these and then pick up the stray issues of the first trades that are undoubtedly not selling at my local retailer’s shop.

Page 107 — the Star Wars/Marvel U crossover starts small, with Sleepwalker appearing in the Poe Dameron book. HA!

Page 119 — Good lord, the Spider-Clone saga is offered in Omnibus. This is 1240 pages for $125 and it’s STILL not the entire fucking thing!

Page 121 — Wacky Kirby fun with the Black Panther Marvel Masterworks HC 2. Oddly enough, both this book and the Uncanny X-Men Omni on the page before reprint some of Marvel Team Up 100.

Page 129 — A-Force TP 1 Hypertime — Yay, DC finally is embracing this concept … oh, wait, this is a Marvel book. I’m in, though, or else soon to be Dread Lord Kelly (should that be Lordess? Or Lorde? heh) will smote me. Smite me? Smizzite me?

Page 130 — Scarlet Witch TP 1 — I was waiting on this one. It sounds fun, with a different artist each issue. And I still have faith in James Robinson! I would have thought they’d include the one annual of New(?) Avengers which was written by him and featured magic people.

Page 131 — The Vision TP 1 — heard good things about this, like from our friend Rich at Bleeding Cool and I believe the Dread Lord had nice things to say. I’m in! (Waitasec, I notice that the blurb is from Brad Meltzer and HE liked it, so now I’m torn!)

Yeah, I’ll probably get Scarlet Witch. I’m not too sure about The Vision, though. I’ll have to think about it.

Page 133 — Totally Awesome Hulk TP 1 — Outrage! Heh. I like Cho (artist and character, heh), so I might go for this.

Page 134 — Unbeatable Squirrel Girl and GLA TP — ooh. I have a few of these books, but I want the rest. The Masked Intentions book was cute, and the Cable and Deadpool and DP GLI Summer Fun book, especially, was really fun. The completist in me needs this!

Page 135 — Ultimates Omniversal TP 1 — you can’t stop Galactus, you can only hope to contain him. I was intrigued, so I might go for this.

Page 140 — Illuminati Life of Crime TP — I thought this series sounded interesting, and apparently it’s all in this one trade. I might grab it!

Illuminati does sound neat. And Williamson is a good writer, and Crystal and Walker are good artists. There you have it!

Page 141 — Angela Queen of Hel TP — This sounded ok, but then I saw the 24.99 price tag. WTF?! They must have to pay Neil Gaiman or something! Maybe that’s why they’re shelving the Miracleman stuff 😉

That Angela trade is expensive, but it’s still cheaper than getting all seven issues individually!!!

Page 146 — Daredevil Epic Collection The Man Without Fear TP 1 collects the first 21 issues of the original DD series. I read (and own now, actually) the Essential (B&W, don’tcha know) version of this, and from what I remember, that was pretty sweet looking art in B&W. I’ll have to consider this. But wouldn’t it have been better to have come out, oh, I don’t know, this month? Interesting as well that they list Wallace Wood among the writers. Posthumous vindication?

I’ll have to dig out my Marvel Masterworks of Daredevil, but I think in the original issues, the credits actually do list Wood as at least a co-plotter, if not writer. So it’s not a new thing, as far as I can remember. But my MMW is in my garage, and I’m not going to find it!

Ah, looking at GCD, #10 was scripted by Wood. So there’s that!

Page 150 — Marvel ’90s Firsts v2 — more of the crap that’s been moldering in your shop’s back issue bin for 20 years!

Page 151 — Well, this is weird. Howard the Duck Complete Collection v3 has issues 2-7 of the magazine. Which obviously leaves off the first issue, which was in the second volume, I think, but it also leaves off the last 2(?) issues of the magazine. One of which features a Dave Sim frontispiece. I’m wondering if there will be a volume 4, and if so, if it will include all the ’90s Howard appearances, like in Ghost Rider and Generation X.

That is weird about Howard the Duck. I just assume Marvel is planning another one!

Page 152 — X-Men Trial of Gambit TP — and yet he’s still free!

Let’s check out the back of the book!

Somewhere I’d like it mentioned that I have listened to Iggy Pop’s newest album, Post Pop Depression, and it is damn good. It’s heavy and rocking and the last track, “Paraguay”, has a great old man rant on it. If it’s his last one, it’s a fine one to end on!

I’ve never liked Iggy. Yeah, I said it.

Action Lab has the second deluxe HC of Princeless offered on page 189. Guess I better read the first one and see if I want to get this.

The first series was okay, but I didn’t feel the need to read any others. My daughter likes the first and second series, so I might have to figure out which ones I don’t have and give them to her.

Also from them on page 190 is the trade of Actionverse, which sounded like a fun crossover, and it’s 7 issues worth for 20 bucks. The only thing I don’t like about some Action Lab trades is that they print it as if it’s just re-bound copies of the comics, without some of the ads, and they don’t include full page reprints of all the variant covers. Oh well!

Also from them on page 191 is Zoe Dare versus the Disasteroid, where a professional stuntwoman is the only hope to save everything. I think we’ll be ok, then! Sounds like fun…in trade.

Is the creator of Bolts actually named James Whynot? Why not? (page 191)

Another cool sounding Aftershock book with The Revisionist on page 194, because unlike you, I loves me some time travel stories. I hope they start offering trades soon. Then they’ll get my comics buyin’ dollars!

Eric Powell has a new series, Hillbilly, on page 202 from Albatross Funnybooks. I don’t love Powell’s writing, and I wish someone else would write his stuff so he can just draw stuff, because his art is so nice.

I have a lot of Goon stuff that I got cheap (but guess what?!), and I think the original SSB (that’s Satan’s Sodomy Baby for those of you not in the know) is part of the stuff I have. I’ll have to dig it out and see how “awful” it is and see if I want the second one offered here.

Over on page 203, American Gothic Press offers the HC of Project Nemesis, which sounded like an interesting kaiju book, but not 25 dollars interesting, and the first trade of Monster World, Director’s Cut (no, that’s the title!). That one’s by Steve Niles and Piotr Kowalski, and I like them both, so I’m in for this, I think!

Rogues! Hearts and Tombs is offered on page 208 from Amigo. I got two issues of this but never saw the rest, so either my shop didn’t get them or they were never printed, so I’ll be picking this up.

I also got the first 2 issues and never saw the rest, so I’m glad the same happened to you (uh, y’know, that we both got what came out, not that we…never mind…). I’m hoping they officially cancel the other issues of the Burning Heart and don’t end up releasing them separately later on! Perhaps El Torres will pop in here and let us know!

Also from Amigo is a new Sidney Hammer one shot. The first one was decent horror and hot girl art, so I’ll probably get this one.

Archie offers the first trade of Jughead, from Chip Zdarsky and Erica Henderson. I’m on the fence for this one.

There’s a new Arsenic Lullaby book, The Devil’s Only Friend, which I think was the one offered a few years (?) back that never came out. Guess I’ll order it again and hope it actually comes out, as this stuff is disturbingly funny. (page 216)

Speaking of series that I never completed for whatever reason, Steve Niles’s and Christopher Mitten’s The Disciples is in trade on page 227 from Black Mask. I got the first … two issues of this and really liked it, but I never got the final two. Why does this happen to me?!?!?!?

I usually blame Diamond.

Bleeding Cool magazine wisely chose not to get a full page ad this month, as they are highlighting the 35th anniversary of Dark Horse. Maybe they just figure they’ll put it out so late, it’ll be ahead of the curve of that anniversary coming in 5 years time! (page 227)

They use the wrong cover picture with the solicit on page 228, but the right one is in the ad on the next page, for SpongeBob 57. Black and White and Yellow all over! Hilary Barta and Marc Hempel! Plus, the Annual also offered features a Neal Adams story!

Boom! gives us Lucas Stand from the Sons of Anarchy creator. The description says to me that he apparently liked Spawn in the ’90s … Still, I’m interested, so I’ll trade wait!

I don’t think I’d like this. Kurt Sutter just seems like someone I wouldn’t like in real life, and his idea of good entertainment doesn’t really coincide with mine.

Lumberjanes is crossing over with Gotham Academy on page 234? Of course they’re crossing over!!!! Six issues, though? Dang.

Maybe this is why they didn’t announce a new season or semester or whatever of Gotham Academy yet. Sounds like it’ll be a great trade, which is how I’ve gotten Lumberjanes and will get GA in the future!

Strange Attractors and The Joyners, which are relatively recent graphic novels, are serialized on page 236. What a weird way to do this. Strange Attractors is pretty good, but The Joyners is not. So there you have it!

Yeah, this new trend is so weird. I mentioned the Fear and Loathing new mini and the singles of Hip Hop Family Tree. I thought you weren’t big on The Joyners, which was in 3D, right? I was interested in Strange Attractors, but should I wait for a new trade? I DON’T KNOW!

Yes, The Joyners was in 3D. It didn’t help!

I might have to get the trade of The Big Con Job on page 238. It sounded neat and looked pretty good, and here’s the trade!

It’s 20 bucks, though. Looks like Boom is upping the prices on their trades. NOOOOOO!!!!

Some neat stuff on pages 238 and 239. Last Mortal collects the story about a dude that can’t die that was in … THAT … Top Cow Preview book from a ways back. I’ll have to dig that out and take a look. Broken World sounded neat, where people are trying to escape Earth ahead of a meteor impact. You mentioned The Big Con Job, and that did sound fun. Wild’s End: The Enemy Within is the second book in the Abnett/Culbard series, and guess what I haven’t read yet?! Downside is that all of the abovementioned are 20 dollar trades, which isn’t horrible, of course, but only Wild’s End was more than 4 issues long, I think. Burning Fields and Americatown are offered at 30 bucks a pop, although the latter is a HC. I don’t think they released all of the singles of either of these (I know they didn’t with the latter). At least they’re offering the completed story!

Jonesy is offered on page 240, and that’s 15 bucks for the 4 issue series that I’ve heard good things about. Maybe!

My daughter wanted to read a recent single issue of Jonesy, and I told her I’d get her the trade. So here it is!

They totally tried to sell Lookers (from Boundless on page 246) as some sort of female empowerment re-imagining of a 90s book over at Bleeding Cool, but they sell it the same way they sell all their books, with boobs! Girl Power!

Speaking of Boundless, the first issue of Hellina comes out this week. It’s … well, it’s something, all right. The art is actually not terrible, but man, it just looks … man. When Tarot is looking like classic literature when compared to your output, you might need to reconsider your choices.

Man, I’m interested in that book of The Senate Hearings on Juvenile Delinquency (that led to the Comics Code, of course) from Canton Street Press on page 250, but I think that because it’s a government thing, you could request the documents from the government for free (or the cost of copying, maybe). But this is easier!

I also wish to discover if Torchy was corrupting the youth back then. I may get the replica book offered here as well on the same page!

Oh Chapterhouse, why must you feed into my love of Canadiania (is that a term? It should be!) I think that’s Chapterhouse Archives Northguard 2 offered on page 251, and the Summer Special features Pitiful Human Lizard, whose own book on page 252 goes up to 3.99 with issue 8. There’s a new version of Northguard on 252 as well, and those toy covers are kinda fun looking. The second True Patriot volume 2 is offered there as well. I haven’t read the first yet, but got it. Dang, it felt slim! It’s offered again on 253 if you missed it. When was J. Torres a CBR columnist?

Beats me. He must have been, though – it’s right there in Previews!

Page 254 features the Classics Illustrated version of The Last Days of Pompeii, which has Kirby and Ayers art, in case you weren’t already getting it, history nerd!

If it doesn’t feature Jon Snow’s abs, I don’t want to see it.

I wish my shop was getting the CBLDF Defender, so I could get issue 6 with the Noelle Stevenson feature, offered here on page 256.

Creative Mind Energy has The Gifted volume 3 on page 256, which I would order … if I hadn’t missed volume 2. I never saw it in Previews, I’ll tell you that much. Unless the first volume was technically “two” volumes in one? I’ll have to check it out. Creative Mind Energy has put out some good comics, but their scheduling is spotty!

I don’t recall seeing v2, but I did see v1, I think.

Hey, Matt Wagner is drawing a new Shadow series on page 258 from Dynamite. Good for him! Shall we wait until Tom shows up here to rant about Wagner never finishing Mage? Give it time …

Are you saying he’s predictable? Well, all I know is that with the Death of Margo Lane, and her in cuffs and torn lingerie on the cover, it just shows that comics are for women too.

Warren Ellis’s James Bond gets a trade on page 266, so that should be fun. And Ellis is continuing writing it with issue #7 on page 267? He’s not quitting yet? What madness is this?!?!?

I believe he signed on for 12 issues when he started. It’s probably sweet Bond money, so why not stay on for at least a year?

Do not judge me for considering getting the Dawn/Vampirella HC on page 268 from Dynamite. DO. NOT.

I will totally judge you. It’s not like I’m considering getting anything almost as bad further along in the book or anything!

The Devilers is finally offered in trade from Fialkov. This sounds like a neat group of multi-faith demon fighters. I have to check at my shop, though, because he had a fair amount of this series. (page 270)

I don’t remember seeing much hoopla about it, but The Shadow: the Last Illusion trade is offered on page 273, by Cullen Bunn and Colton Worley, both good, and it involves Houdini. Cool beans!

Worry Doll shows up on page 283 from Dover. This is a bizarre comic, but it’s kind of neat.

Dover also gives us the complete Wandering Star, one of the great indies of the ’90s. Issue 5 is one of my favorite single issues ever! I’m in, even though I have almost all of this!

Hope Larson writes Compass South from Farrar, Straus and Giroux. Fraternal twins in 1860 get stuck on different ships while pirates chase them down. Of course! Sounds like a fun adventure!

Grand Central Publishing has Indeh on page 301, which is about the Apache Wars and is drawn by Greg Ruth, which means I should be all over it. But it’s written by Ethan Hawke, and from what I’ve heard, Hawke’s writing leaves much to be desired. But those were novels – maybe the presence of an artist will rein in him a little!

This does sound interesting. To paraphrase an MST3K joke, we can read Ethan Hawke comics again! YAY!

The trade of Cops For Criminals shows up on page 318 from Legendary. This is by Steven Grant and Pete Woods, so it will probably be pretty good.

Oni gives us Merry Men on page 324, because apparently a bunch of guys living together in the forest, dressing in frilly clothes, and handling long phallic weapons is gay or something!

The final issue of The Sixth Gun is offered on page 327. I will miss it, but I’m glad Bunn and Hurtt got around to finishing it!

Tumor gets a new printing on page 330. This is cool comic by Joshua Fialkov and Noel Tuazon, and if you haven’t gotten it yet, here’s your chance!

If they send me Elk’s Run instead, should I send it back and say “it’s not a Tumor”? Yukyukyuk!

[Editor: Apparently our attempts at correcting Mr. Pelkie’s behavior have failed. I’m not going to confirm nor deny that we have devised several more tortures for him, but let’s just say it’s a distinct possibility.]

Page 331 gives us the Kickstarter sensation Fresh Romance, which sounded like fun.

Page 335 has Malice in Ovenland GN 1 from Rosarium, by Micheline Hess, who was spotlighted here in February. It looked cute.

Back Issue #90 (page 370) spotlights “Eighties ladies”. Yeah, I’ll be getting this. Somerset Holmes? Dakota North? Good stuff!!!!

Even cooler, previously unpublished Elektra cover by Billy the Sink! Don’t forget Dazzler as well!

Also from TwoMorrows on page 370 is Comic Book Creator 13, spotlighting MW Kaluta and Ramona Fradon, and Jack Kirby Collector 68 with a sweet unpublished Doctor Doom inked by Paul Chadwick on the cover.

Oh lordy, there’s a Jane Austen Coloring Book from Udon on page 376!

Valiant gives us a collection of the Garth Ennis/Ashley Wood Shadowman on page 385. Probably neat!

Yeah, but then Dennis Calero comes on to do the art. I don’t hate Calero, but he’s not really an inducement.

Z2 has The Sweetness 1 from Miss Lasko Gross and Kevin Colden (page 401), which looks visually cool and features 2 female intergalactic drug smugglers! Colden did a cool Crow mini from a few years back, and is a nice dude!

Yeah, I like Colden’s work. He doesn’t do enough of it, though.

I don’t want to alarm you, but I might get the trade of Red Agent from Zenescope on page 406. I like the writer and the artist, and the few issues I’ve seen look pretty good. I’ve bought one (1) comic from Zenescope in my life, but this might be the second one!

You dare get on me about Gambit when you tell me this? For shame, sirrah! Mah hon-ah is at stake here! I challenge you to a duel!

Page 418 — Gah! 2017 calendars already!

Page 426 Illustrators magazine 15 features Dave McKean.

Page 438 gives us a cool looking red heather Starman t-shirt!

I wouldn’t pay that price, but that Lumberjanes denim jacket is a pretty cool tie in, on page 444.

Page 468 gives us Batman ’66 surf figures, which I assume is where the Bat Shark Repellent comes from!

Page 527 gives a neat replica of the Supermen of America Fan Club kit. Get out your decoder rings!

Page 529 — we’ll end on this — a V For Vendetta mask silicone baking tray. Oh my, it may be anonymous but it’s oh so delicious!

Well, that took a brutally long time. Something weird was going on with the blog for me yesterday, so things got really slow. I apologize! Have fun in the comments, and if I don’t respond to everyone, it’s because I’m off to Seattle tomorrow for the convention and will be without much access to the Internet. I don’t have no fancy Internet phone, man! Remember: Have a great time checking out Previews! There’s all sorts of cool stuff in there!

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