Shinji Ikari of Neon Genesis Evangelion is not your typical shōnen protagonist. Instead of being loud and overconfident, he's quiet and self-loathing. His arc is also a subversion of the hero's journey; things just keep getting worse and worse for him, and it doesn't take long for his already fragile ego to crack.

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One of Evangelion's themes is the nature of human relationships and how we as individuals can never truly know other people. Though not all of them make things worse, many of Shinji's relationships only exacerbate his problems.

10 Shinji's Problems All Stem From Gendo Abandoning Him

Gendo Shinji Abandonment

Evangelion relies on visual symbolism to convey its ideas. If these symbols aren't rooted in Christianity, odds are they're instead rooted in Freudian psychology. For those unaware, Sigmund Freud coined "the Oedipus complex," named after the Greek tragedy where the titular character kills his father and marries his mother. Shinji's relationship with his father Gendo fits.

Gendo abandoned Shinji when the boy was a toddler after his wife/Shinji's mother, Yui Ikari, died. All of Shinji's problems stem from never receiving parental love at a life stage where it's needed. In the end, Shinji is too scared to either forgive or hate Gendo, while Gendo's indifferent standoffish behavior conceals his own fears about fatherhood. In trying to spare Shinji pain, Gendo just passed on his own.

9 Shinji And Asuka's Similarities Lead To Pure Dysfunction

Shinji Asuka I Need You

In a better world, or maybe just a more conventional series, Shinji and Asuka Langley Soryu could've seen each other as the kindred spirits they are. Neon Genesis Evangelion is not that world. Shinji quietly resents Asuka, while she puts him down to assert her superiority. This winds up exploding in The End Of Evangelion.

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Shinji is totally unable to give Asuka affection on the terms she wants ("You won't even hold me!") and only goes to her to assuage his own pain. Likewise, Asuka is only ever able to give Shinji tough love (Shinji: "Doesn't everyone hate me?" Asuka: "You idiot, you've just gotten that in your head by yourself!").

8 Shinji And Toji's Friendship Ends In Tragedy

Toji Punches Shinji

Shinji and Toji Suzuhara got off on the wrong foot; Toji, angry that his sister Sakura had been injured in the fight between Unit 01 and Sachiel, punched Shinji hard enough to knock him to the ground. Shinji being Shinji, he didn't fight back. Despite this rough start, Toji isn't a bad guy at heart and comes to regret how he introduced himself to Shinji. The two actually manage to become friends, and for a while, Shinji's friendship with Toji is the most stable in his life.

Until episode 18, "Ambivalence," that is. Toji is chosen to pilot Unit 03, but is infected by the angel Bardiel. A helpless Shinji has to watch as a remote-controlled Unit 01 tears apart Unit 03, crippling Toji. A guilt-ridden Shinji is never able to face Toji again.

7 Yui Is Absent From Shinji's Life But Still Protecting Him

Shinji Yui End Of Evangelion

Aside from Gendo, the other source of Shinji's problems is that his mother Yui died before he could remember her. Whenever Shinji is especially depressed or overwhelmed, he retreats into a fetal position, indicating a yearning to return to the womb and be close to the mother he never knew. At first, it seems Yui could hardly be blamed for her son's dysfunctions in the same way Gendo can. However, it turns out she's not dead, but inside Unit 01, and her "death" was part of her plan to ascend to godhood.

This puts Yui in a much more ambiguous light. At the same time, though, Unit 01 (read: Yui) is the one character who consistently protects Shinji, as seen by it going berserk in the fights with Sachiel and Zeruel. Yui also offers Shinji reassurance with her parting words in "The End Of Evangelion."

6 Misato Loves Shinji Like A Mother But Can't Quite Help Him

Shinji Misato Dinner

Throughout Evangelion, Misato Katsuragi is the closest thing Shinji has to a parent. Neither one of them really knows how to healthily connect with other people, so the relationship isn't one of the more fruitful ones in anime. Shinji dislikes Misato's sloppy housekeeping and is sexually intimidated by her. Misato loves Shinji, (in Episode 16 she sobs with relief and hugs him when he returns to reality), but she also doesn't have much patience for his moods.

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Their final scene in The End Of Evangelion is one of the most beautiful in the film. In trying to snap Shinji out of his depression, Misato finally comes to understand Shinji, shares parts of herself with him and encourages him to live in spite of his regrets. It doesn't quite work, but Shinji is torn up by her death and creates a grave for her, marked by her cross necklace.

5 Kaworu And Shinji's Love Was Too Good To Last

Kaworu and Shinji embrace in Neon Genesis Evangelion.

Shinji's relationship with Kaworu Nagisa is the shortest and sweetest in Evangelion, but it had ruinous consequences. The two meet in Episode 24, "The Final Messenger," and it's love at first sight. Despite his usual reticence to engage with people, Shinji can't help but feel comfortable in Kaworu's presence.

It's too good to be true. Kaworu is Tabris, the 17th Angel, and a human incarnation of Adam. Shinji has to kill him to prevent the Third Impact. If Kaworu had been evil all along and pretending to love Shinji, that would've been one thing, but no — Kaworu's feelings were real. In his last moments, he thanks Shinji for showing him the beauty of humanity and says that he is ok with dying if that means Shinji lives. Shinji reluctantly complies, but the guilt sends him into the nihilistic despair he's plagued by throughout The End Of Evangelion.

4 Rei Becomes A Fuller Person Thanks To Shinji

Rei II Shinji

There's one character in Evangelion who inarguably changes for the better thanks to their relationship with Shinji, and that's Rei Ayanami. Rei is a clone of Yui Ikari created by Gendo and Kozo Fuyutsuki to act as a host body for Lilith, the 2nd Angel. As such, Rei doesn't understand being human, much less how to connect with others.

Though their relationship doesn't get as much focus as Shinji and Asuka's, the younger Ikari is the first person to treat Rei like a friend. This encouragement is what allows Rei to gain a will of her own and ultimately reject Gendo

3 Kaji Was The Father Shinji Needed

Shinji Kaji Watermelons

As Misato notes, she basically failed at being Shinji's mother. The best parent, surrogate or otherwise, who Shinji finds in the series is Capt. Katsuragi's ex, Ryoji Kaji.

Though not as active in Shinji's life as Misato, Kaji is less troubled than her and generally has better success connecting with Shinji or bestowing advice on him. In Episode 19, it's Kaji who convinces Shinji to return to being an EVA pilot to stop Zeruel.

2  Shinji And Kensuke's Friendship Lacks Any Turmoil

Shinji Kensuke

Toji's best friend is the nerdy Kensuke Aida, who wants to be an EVA pilot. Kensuke's foolish dream almost gets him and Toji killed during the battle between Unit 01 and Shamshel, but Shinji saves them. After this, the pair befriend Shinji.

Kensuke and Shinji's friendship lacks any real dysfunction, aside from Shinji sometimes getting annoyed by Kensuke's desire to be an EVA Pilot or his crush on Misato. Kensuke even delivers some useful, even profound advice to his new friend — Misato acts messy because she's comfortable enough around Shinji to be her true self.

1 Mari Becomes The Lover Who Shinji Needs

Mari Shinji

Mari Makinami is exclusive to the Rebuild continuity, and she winds up being crucial to that iteration of Shinji's ending. Namely, she ends up being the character Shinji forms a relationship with.

Rei's true nature means she and Shinji can't be together. Shinji and Asuka confess their feelings but decide they've hurt each other too much and grown too far apart for a relationship. Kaworu realizes he threw himself so far into trying to help Shinji, he forgot himself along the way. In contrast, Mari represents hope for a new life in a new world, and her relationship with Shinji will be unburdened by the past.

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