He may tired of Earth, these people and being caught in the tangle of their lives, but even Dr. Manhattan can't resist the siren's call of Wal-Mart and its low, low prices. Or at least its conveniently placed bicycles.

The Orlando Sentinel reports that a 27-year-old Jacksonville, Florida, man was charged Tuesday with petit theft after he allegedly tried to walk off with a $130 bike from an Orlando-area Wal-Mart.

But this isn't any mere mortal. It's Vladislav Nasyrov, aka "Universe" (I kid you not!), who sports a Dr. Manhattan-inspired tattoo of a hydrogen atom in the middle of his forehead. (That's him above ... at the far right.) Hey, the marketing boys said he needed a logo.

Presumably, Universe and Jon Osterman only share symbols and not powers; otherwise, he could've teleported away after being stopped outside the store by a loss-prevention officer.

Of course, he probably would've been better off enlisting the help of Ozymandias.