greetings, gentle visitor, and welcome to this place of quiet reflection. let not your burdens misguide you on your sojourn into the soul…
my name is fern rosario, and this is my island on this great sea of communication that is the internet. come in and rest your weary head upon the elfin dale.
this is a place where i may share my thoughts and loves with you. it is a place where we mayhap have a laugh, or perhaps a few tears, as we look inside ourselves and reveal our insides to all.
here is where i will leave my thoughts and thereby shall you know fern and fern shall know thee.
those who know me know that my three great passions are poetry, comic books, and unicorns, and thus do i enjoy. since unicorns are well-discussed on my e-group, unilover, i shall mostly discuss my other loves here.
do not be alarmed when i say comic books. i do not mean the childish, foolish spider-man tales of your youth. no, far from it. i mean batman.
sandman, also. but mostly batman.
for in the dark heart and soul of the batman i sense a series of universal truths. for example, no amount of violence can cure the pain in your soul when your parents are dead, or in my case, when they aren’t.
it is truths like these that are my poetic muse, and sometimes kittens.
another reason that i created this humble place is to refute the cruel accusations of my former boyfriend, brendan “nightdork” hockenberry. here is his website. but i warn you, brendan is a child of great untruth, and lies are his breath. for the record, brendan “dorkwing” hockenberry, i got those recurring cold sores from you when you gave me your hideous disease that i won’t mention but rhymes with “slurpees!”
but enough about villains. let us speak of a hero.
this poem is called “BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!”
you sit in your dark and lonely cave
thinking only of your parents’ grave
i wonder if it’s the light you crave?
in your darkness and despair
what in your heart cannot repair
the aching that lies buried there?
what is it that could drive you so?
was it bullets flying to and fro?
that were fired oh so long ago?
three simple shots cut through the night
they took your parents-what a blight
and hid you always from the light
three simple shots–i wish i could
go back in time to make it good
so you would grow up like you should
three simple shots and then the dawn
your future they do rest upon
three simple shots go on and on
here is a picture of batman playing the mandolin.
here is another poem. i hope you enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing and then reading it also. it is a departure for me as it is not about batman but about a friend of batman’s. see if you mayhap guess who it is. this poem is called, “miles above the ground.”
oh smooth-skinned star-sent scion of the sun
leaping flying saving helping
who shall leap for you?
who shall fly for you?
who shall save and help you in your time of need?
oh saint-like solar-strong savior of my soul
red and blue and yellow and flesh
can you see through me?
can you lift me above the clouds?
am i the kryptonite that leads to your heart?
oh s-shielded splendent spirit from space
looking blowing jumping bulging
why am i only safe
when i am with you
and my feet are miles above the ground?
this is a section of my web oasis where i tell you about some of my favorite things.
favorite movie: labyrinth. david bowie is hot hot hot and that baby is so cute! i wish i had had a real man like david bowie instead of brendork “dorkdork” dorkendork. one time i asked brendan to get some tights like david wears in this movie but he just looked at me like I was the weird one. note to other girls out there: BRENDAN HAS HERPES.
favorite author: neil gaiman. i would read the trash from his house if not for that restraining order.
favorite food: double stuf. i like to take two and make quadruple stuf. once i took four and made octuple stuf. i dreamed once of making a centennial stuf. sometimes i eat all the stuf and just have a big bag of cookie bottoms and tops. i guess i should say my favorite food is actually just stuf.
favorite kat: mister boots, with morpheus the dream king kitty a close second. i love kats.
favorite song: ‘my vagina is a gaping wound,’ by tori amos. tori tori tori!
favorite big dork jerk i hate with herpes: brendan
favorite comic character: batman batman batman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
here is a picture showing one of the best things about batman. his great capacity for love and friendship.
this is another poem. it is called “ORB.”
glowing orb of distress
why can’t you see?
this city is a mess without me
THE BAT SIGNAL
glowing orb of sorrow
why can’t you feel the pain?
even though the night is full of rain?
THE BAT SIGNAL
glowing orb of sadness
you cast a bat into the sky
what vicious crime tonight do you thus signify?
THE BAT SIGNAL
glowing orb of decay
called by my friend jim gordon
if this were prison he’d be the warden
THE BAT SIGNAL
this is my final poem that i shalt leave thee with. it is called, “nightwing.”
raised in the circus to do as you please
trained on the high-wire, the hoop and trapeze
the brightest young star in the centermost ring
smiling and laughing unsuspecting a thing
the thugs wanted money, the boss couldn’t cope
to teach him a lesson they cut through the rope
splat! splat! went your parents as loudly they fell!
splat! splat! was the sound as your soul went to hell!
you ran to their bodies and you screamed through your tears
you went home with Bruce and you trained for ten years
you flirted with princesses, fought the insane
but still did that splatty sound ring in your brain
you grew up and the name “robin” no longer fit
you got a new name and a brand new outfit
you slept with the huntress, flew with the bat
but you would never have been here if not for that splat
so thank the batman for training if you must
but also your parents all splat in the dust.
thank you for sharing. mayhap someday thee might’nt wish to share as well?
all poetry/verse/musings/creation is copyright fern rosario. i hate brendan “herpe-face” hockenherpes.
SPECIAL HUGE YABS thanks to Lisa Jonte, who did these gorgeous illustrations cheerfully on impossibly short notice. Lisa is an immensely talented artist and writer working on many projects that we all MUST buy…check out her website at: home.att.net/~BentWeasle
She’s also a contributing Sequential Tart of the highest order…check out her work (and lots of other brilliant minds) at www.sequentialtart.com This month they have a swell Trina Robbins cover, so I’m jealous.
Also thanks to fern and Brendan for inspiration.
Discuss this column on the You’ll All Be Sorry! Message Board.
All characters are ™ & © their respective owners. All Rights Reserved.
You’ll All Be Sorry! is a satire published by Comic Book Resources, and is not intended maliciously. CBR has invented all names and situations in its stories, except in cases when public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental, or used as a fictional depiction or personality parody (permitted under Hustler Magazine v. Fallwell, 485 US 46, 108 S.Ct 876, 99 L.Ed.2d 41 (1988)). CBR makes no representation as to the truth or accuracy of the preceeding information.
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