Without so much as a warning, movie-goers were exposed to a box office meme gone wild as Minions: Rise of Gru graced the theaters in July 2022. The movie has been a hit with adult audiences and continues to dominate the box office with a brand-new Video On Demand release. However, as audiences gained their bearings, they were hit again with a surprise release called Prey, a prequel to the original Predator franchise. As these movies duke it out to see who can garner more streams, a more important question soon arises: could the Minions survive the Predator?
Seeking an answer to this question may cause more to arise, such as when and where they would fight, but the answer can come more simply if ground rules are laid. Established since the beginning of Predator, the Predators survey a selected area for a big game hunt, then begin killing small creatures as they make their way up to humans. Pulling from the mainline entries in the Predator film series, the first recorded encounter was in 1719, as seen in Prey. If the Predator were to face off against a Minion, it would be during this year, as it seeks to kill off the biggest creatures in its hunt. Minions have proven to be resistful creatures, as seen in the original Minions film, surviving decades of cruelty and weathering subzero temperatures. Due to this, The Minion would prove to be an interesting hunt for the Predator, in this case, perhaps even ranking higher on the food chain than humans.
The Minions have an arsenal of only brawn, wit, and sheer numbers. However, depending on the villain they are with, they are equipped with proper arms to combat the forces of good. As history is always dependent on the victors that determine who the villain is, it would be difficult to pinpoint where the Minions would stand in the year 1719. But, as cited in the Minions film, they have served under Napoleon the first. Napoleon was a French military leader and political figure known for invasions of soil foreign to him. With this established, it can be assumed that the Minions are likely serving those who conquer the land. In 1719, the British Empire was taking land from Spain, which would mean that the Minions would presumably be under the rule of King George I. The Minions' arsenal would be a standard issue sword, cannon, and on rare occasions, a flintlock pistol.
The Predator's arsenal is dependent on what their ship is outfitted with. At the beginning of Prey, the Predator is visibly dropped off in a field next to the Comanche tribe as their ship flies elsewhere into the distance. In this case, it can be assumed that this Predator was dropped off by another Predator. This second Predator was perhaps uninterested in the atmosphere of the Great Plains and could have gone to Spain, in which the action would be plentiful and a stark contrast to the countryside. As both Predators were in the same ship, it can also be assumed that they had taken roughly the same equipment. As seen in Prey, this would include steel arrows, an expanding net, a minimum of three shrapnel grenades, erosive gas, a shield, claws, cloaking capabilities, and a large set of razor claws.
The Minions would most likely have minimal numbers picked off, as they tend to have luck on their side. Initially, the Predator could presumably take out very little. Using weapons such as grenades or erosive gas would prove to do little to Minions, as they have been resistant to explosions and gas attacks. However, as Minions tend to pick up on things rather quickly, they could theoretically notice dwindling numbers and begin to devise a plan against the Predator. They would decide to use the resources gathered by the British Empire, such as cannons and especially flintlocks, to disperse the Predator.
Despite the plan, it is crucial to understand that the one thing Minions seem to fall prey to is nets and sharp objects. If the Predator used his claws, a sizable dent could be put into their numbers. To make matters worse, while knowing how to use equipment, the Minions are inaccurate shots. Assuming the army size is roughly 150, the Predator could kill three-fourths of the military. But, with enough flintlock pistols and the Minions' sheer cartoon luck to outwit their enemies during the end of a fight, the Predator could easily be outnumbered.
Outclassed and outgunned, the Predator would likely fall prey to the Minions. The casualties of the Minion army would be around 112, leaving roughly 38 Minions. In addition, the Predator's ship would now be without a pilot, leaving the likes of the Minions to take over the rest of the deadly equipment. While the initial debate of whether the Minions would succumb to the Predator's abilities may seem like a no-content win for the Predator, enough research proves that the little yellow tic-tags are mighty enough to carry themselves across the finish line.
Minions: The Rise of Gru is currently playing in theaters. Prey is now streaming on Hulu.