WARNING: The following article contains spoilers for Deadpool #1 by Skottie Young and Nic Klein, in stores now.


After spending a few years trying to be a superhero, Deadpool has decided to go back to basics. That means wiping his memory and restarting his career as the preeminent mercenary in the Marvel Universe. The problem with that idea is, no one really likes him enough to actually come to him for business. In fact, most people hate him. He's annoying, and he's a jerk.

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Together with his partner Negasonic Teenage Warrior, because they were "Randomly paired up in a movie and now writer McBaby covers here is trying to ride those coattails," Deadpool #1 by Skottie Young and Nic Klein sees the Merc attempt to craft a more sympathetic origin story for himself. Wade rattles off a few different origin stories, but none of them really feel right. Also, one of them might actually turn out to be true... in a way.

After the first issue, Deadpool might have to work with the Avengers to fight off an invading Celestial no one has ever heard of, but he's also going to have to defeat a threat he created.

Welcome to the DC Universe

Everyone knows how Deadpool came to be. There was even a movie about it, where he has cancer, undergoes some experiments, and turns into the ugliest, un-killable mercenary that ever existed. However, this origin still hasn't made people like him, or even feel bad for him, so he's looking to change things up. He invents a few new, completely original ideas to his uninterested assistant, but they all kind of suck.

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Trying to sell himself as the brainy type, his first new origin includes "science and stuff." He hits himself with gamma radiation to eliminate his cancer, but as a result it transforms him into, no not a Hulk, but a Merc With a Mouth. He also thinks "Deadpool stab" is going to be his new catchphrase.

Not liking how incredibly dumb this sounds, Wade goes younger because "people love them some nerdy underdog stories." He's a teenager getting bullied at school when suddenly he's bitten by a spider. Instead of turning into Spider-Man, he becomes a world-class assassin with swords for some reason.

That doesn't make sense either, so he decides to go bigger. He's a baby who crashes to Earth in a rocket, who is found by his adoptive Ma and Pa. They train him to be the best damn mercenary in the world. Unfortunately, that origin doesn't do anything to make him more sympathetic, so Negasonic Teenage Warhead suggests that, instead, his adoptive parents taught him to do what is good and right.

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Deadpool adds that "My adopted parents teach me to fight for truth and justice and all that mushy #@%$," and if you haven't figured it out yet, he's turned himself into Superman from DC Comics. In one last dig against the film Man of Steel, Wade also states that he can "Snap a &%@!# neck to save the day" if things get rough. This is an obvious reference to the time Superman broke General Zod's neck in the movie, a clear representation of everything the character stands for.

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Up to this point, Deadpool is just making stuff up. His origin hasn't changed; he's not the Hulk, Spider-Man or even Superman. However, his last attempt at a new origin gets a little too real when he realizes his story about a child who witnesses the murder of his parents in an alley might have actually happened. In fact, he was the one who killed the child's parents in the first place.

Based on the details of the story -- a movie theater, rich parents, pearls scattering on the floor, boy left crying -- it almost sounds like he may have created Batman. Then again, this is Marvel Comics, and he tells the boy, "Don't grow up and be a cliche. Stay away from caves and dressing up as some sort of mammal." Thanks to his little pep talk, this kid did not grow up to become Batman -- but he's probably not doing alright, as much as Deadpool would like to believe.

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As the issue comes to a close, a figure in an alley beats a bunch of men into a bloody pulp and walks away. Whoever this man is leaves his calling card, the words "Good Night" written on the wall in blood. It's the name of the movie the kid and his parents saw on that fateful night. Don't be shocked, but it appears he definitely did not turn out alright in the end.

As his father explained to him, "Sometimes tragedy finds you and it's the choices you make after that will make you who you are." Deadpool #1 makes it clear that Wade Wilson will have to fight a threat he created, but will he be Marvel's very own Batman, or something much, much worse?

As longtime Marvel and DC readers know, this is not the first time a twisted version of a popular comic book character has been created by a rival publisher. Marvel already has their evil Justice League in the Squadron Sinister, for example, and DC has a collection of Marvel villain lookalikes in the Extremists. Deadpool's new threat, whoever he may be, is simply the latest in a grand tradition. Good luck, Wade - you're gonna need it.