Recalling reading his sister's Archie comics as a child, an "upset" David Letterman last night delivered the news of Archie Andrews' death to his Late Show audience.
"Archie is going to be shot dead," Letterman said. "I don't know what to say -- the Archie people have grown up now, and as I understand it Archie, defending a friend of his who is gay, takes a bullet for his gay friend and is shot dead. He dies a hero, but he's dead. [...] What do we do? What's next, Dagwood Bumstead chokes to death on one of those sandwiches?"
Luckily, band leader Paul Shaffer was on hand to lighten the mood, pointing out that, "Archie has made sure that his staff will continue to get paid," a nod to Letterman's approaching retirement.
That discussion, naturally, segued into last night's Top Ten: "Top Ten Memorable Moments In Comic Strip History," which includes "Flash Gordon is arrested for indecent exposure" and "Family Circus's tribute to Kim Jong-Un."
Conan O'Brien, meanwhile, revealed some of the less "noble" deaths rejected by Archie Comics -- among them, heroin overdose and bathtub slip-and-fall.
Watch video from both segments below.