Being a superhero is a tough job; the days are long, the nights sometimes longer, and your life (or the life of your loved one) is constantly being threatened. You have to shoulder great responsibilities, and who wants to do that and go home to an empty Batcave night after night? We could argue even Batman’s job would get lousy if those late night run-ins with Catwoman ever stopped. No one understands the burden of superhero life like another superhero, so it’s no wonder they’re constantly hooking up.
Some of them stay with the same person for decades (Reed Richards and Sue Storm), while others just blow through entire teams of peers (Wolverine and…everyone). While it’s true, there are some understanding mere mortals out there that they want to hang their cape with, humans that don’t have special abilities will always feel left out. And while most of the time, superhero hookups are on the level, there’s been a bunch that never really sat well with the fans. Whether one superhero was too young, one was a father figure, or one was a villain, there was a reason that they were incredibly creepy. CBR brings you 15 of the creepiest superhero hookups you won’t be able to unread!
15. GWEN STACY AND NORMAN OSBORN
Once upon a time, when Norman Osborn aka the Green Goblin was trying to fight off its effects, he was in a dark place that Gwen felt needed comforting. He’d also saved her and her father, carving out a nice little chunk of Gwen’s heart to hang out in. She cheated on Peter Parker with Norman, got pregnant with twins, and flew to Europe to have them in secret. They popped out fully nine months old (ouch!), and according to Norman this was due to their “Osborn blood”, which accelerated their growth.
When Gwen broke it off with Norman and ran to Peter, hoping he would take her back and help her raise the children, it triggered Green Goblin’s rage and he threw her off a building. Peter Parker finds out about all this craziness after Gwen’s death, when he’s attacked by her Miracle Grown kids while visiting her gravesite.
14. IRON MAN AND HIS SUIT
In a fight against Whiplash, a combination of battle-acquired short circuitry and technological malfunction occurs when Tony is struck by lightning, and the Iron Suit becomes a sentient being. Tony thought he’d implanted the appropriate failsafes, but instead he gets a fully independent Iron Suit that worships its creator. Unfortunately, it takes its admiration for Tony a bit too far and becomes a jealous, abusive lover.
It insists that it feels the same way about Tony that he feels about his girlfriend, and even gets jealous when he wears a different Iron Suit. Tony is sadly no match against the sentient version. When he does decide to get in it, it straight up murders Whiplash at their next encounter, and threatens to kill everyone at the funeral unless Tony “becomes one with it”. It even takes him to a nice, deserted island to try to drive the point home.
13. SCOTT SUMMERS AND EMMA FROST
It would appear Cyclops has a type, and that is telepathic. After the whole “Dark Phoenix Saga”, where Jean Grey was killed, and then manifested in a cloned version of herself, and then brought back to life, Cylcops had a rather nasty run in with Apocalypse and was under mind control. Emma eventually became his therapist of sorts, helping him sort through his trauma on a psychic level. As sometimes happens in these situations, the two grow closer. The odd thing is, is that their affair is only in their minds, and Jean Grey is just the telepath to “walk in” on their mental adultery.
Jean throws a fit, but it doesn’t really matter, because she’s killed (for real) soon after, leaving Emma and Scott free to continue their romance (for real). They become the ultimate power couple, a point they culminate by making out on Jean’s grave.
12. ULTIMATE SCARLET WITCH AND QUICKSILVER
In Marvel’s version of Dangerous Liaisons, you have Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver going from inseparable siblings to…inseparable siblings in the sack. Since the earliest X-Men issues, Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch looked out for each other, and rarely left each other’s sides. In the Ultimates, Pietro is still getting counsel from Wanda about trying to live up to his father (Magneto’s expectations), and they console each other when their allegiance to S.H.I.E.L.D. is questioned.
In Ultimates 3, Captain America approaches the two of them walking along holding hands and suggests Wanda wear a “less revealing” outfit. Quicksilver threatens to kill him. Because that’s the emotional stability of a person who once slept with his sister, while Wolverine watched in the bushes. Cap gets his 1944 brain scrambled when it’s clarified for him by Wasp that the two siblings are “in love.”
11. BATMAN AND BATGIRL
By now we’ve all seen the animated version of The Killing Joke and know that in order to pad out a running time that should have been 30 minutes, we got an extra 45 minutes padding out young Barbara Gordon’s backstory. This Babs is being coached by Batman to be Batgirl, and she’s a little fed up with his disciplinary ways. This defiance manifests itself in the form of sexual tension, and the angst culminates in them boning on a roof top.
But before all that, Batman actually got her pregnant in Batman Beyond 2.0, set two years after the cartoon Batman Beyond. The future Batman Terry McGinnis becomes mentored by former Robin Dick Grayson, who’s very salty on grizzled Bruce Wayne, and for good reason; he got Babs pregnant while she was still involved with Dick.
10. WOLVERINE AND SQUIRREL GIRL
Wolverine could be the biggest gigolo in the Marvel Universe. And even though he’s had lots of women, one in particular has always been a tough nut to crack; Squirrel Girl, who despite her lame sounding name, has stood up to Thanos, Galactus, and many other villains. In New Avengers #7, the pair have a bit of a reunion when she has become the nanny for the child of Luke Cage and Jessica Jones.
It goes the way most awkward run ins with exes go, where they compliment each other’s bodies and try to act cool. It’s creepy not only because he’s way older than her (though, to be fair, he’s way older than everyone he dates), but for the implications of whatever bestial hookup they must have had.
9. MAGNETO AND WASP
Magneto has the brooding, passionate, revolutionary vibe that chicks seem to dig. He’s the villain that they wall want “to save”. Not so with Wasp, however. In Secret Wars 1 #3, they have a one night stand, and while he’s all smoldering romance and melodrama, Wasp is more wham-bam-thank-you-Magnus.
It’s not exactly clear what inspired Magneto to pursue Janet so doggedly, though it’s somewhat implied he was drugged, and thus acting much more aggressive than normal. His seduction techniques are gallant and chivalrous to the point of foppery, but much like another star-spangled shield wielding man out of his time, he is a romantic from the ’20s, and a little savoir faire is to be expected (though it didn’t make the triste any less weird).
8. WONDER GIRL AND ROBIN
Grief and loss are powerful aphrodisiacs in comics. Wonder Girl and Superboy were a celebrity couple in the Teen Titans, but after his death, she turned to Robin for comfort in Teen Titans #36. Robin, miserable at the loss of his friend, decides to put his suffering to good use, and throws himself into the business of bringing Superboy back to life. He’s not very successful, and after one too many failed attempts, throws what is essentially Superboy’s dead body juices onto the floor of his lab. Wonder Girl walks in and things get interesting.
At first, they talk about how awesome Superboy was and how much they miss him, but apparently that’s all code for foreplay because before you can say “Kon-El” they’re sucking face, which leads to them sprawled out all over the floor. The floor still covered in Superboy’s dead body juices.
7. SUPERMAN AND SUPERGIRL
In an almost filmed version of the movie Superman III, Supergirl was intended to be Superman’s love interest. Escaping from a world where she was raised by Brainiac, she would reach Earth and meet Superman who would fall in love with her (but not before pretending to be a villain just to see if she was “up to snuff” as a superhero). Man, isn’t it great we didn’t end up with that crazy mess?!
Oh wait, we did. In Supergirl #14, then Supergirl Linda Danvers meets Pre-Crisis Supergirl, who’s made it to her time in a rocket ship with the hope of avoiding her eventual death. Desperate to save the young woman’s life, Linda Danvers swaps places with her in the time period she just came from where, you guessed it, Superman actually does fall in love with her and they get married, eventually having a daughter.
6. ROGUE AND MAGNETO
During the events of “Age of Apocalypse”, a very seasoned Magneto (at this point leader of the X-Men) was manipulating the lustful feelings of a teenage girl. That girl happened to be Rogue, who might as well have been his daughter. He put her in a relationship conveyed by his hubris that only he could touch her in a way that Gambit, or all other men, could not. This was due to her absorbing Polaris’s magnetic abilities (which cancelled out his own), and therefore made her a perfect plaything for him.
5. KITTY PRYDE AND COLOSSUS
The towering Colossus met Kitty Pryde when he was just 19, during the events of the “Dark Phoenix Saga”. He was the youngest member of the X-Men at the time, but the future Shadowcat was only 14. There was an instant attraction on both of their parts, which led to a scenario where she tries to goad him into sex while still in her lace nightie. She tells him she “wishes she were older” and he agrees with her. They promptly swap spit.
Over the course of their history together in (and out of) the X-Men, they dance around the issue of their romantic feelings until finally, during the events of Astonishing X-Men, they can get together. By this time, Kitty is a young adult, thank god.
4. HAVOK AND NURSE ANNIE
After movies like Misery, patients are wary of their caretakers. When Alex Summers aka Havok of the X-Men gets admitted to the Rosy Manor Convalescent Hospital in Upstate New York, it’s Nurse Anne Ghazikhanian to the rescue. Despite them having zero interaction, she becomes obsessed with him. When she learns who he is in a newspaper, she contacts the Xavier Institute and Cyclops comes to collect his brother. She becomes the school’s resident nurse and continues to care for Alex until he wakes up.
Despite being engaged to Polaris, Alex and Anne pursue a physical relationship. Things get so heated he leaves Polaris at the altar to make a serious go of it with his new side gig. Eventually she breaks it off with him, deciding that the school is no place for her young son to grow up, which makes zero sense, since he himself is a mutant.
3. DEADPOOL AND SIRYN
It’s always nice when you find a partner who accepts you for your flaws. It happened for Deadpool, when he worked with Siryn fighting Juggernaut and Black Tom. During the scuffle, Deadpool’s mask came off and he was horrified of what Siryn would think when she saw his real face. To be fair she did gasp in horror, which was crushing for his ego, but soon she was touching his face and being all lovey dovey. It was from that moment on that Deadpool became infatuated with her. In a very Twilight move, he would stay awake and watch her while she slept.
That wasn’t the weirdest aspect of their relationship, though; Typhoid Mary disguised herself as Siryn to bang Wade, and Copycat took the form of Deadpool to beat Siryn up. She then hated Deadpool, and while eventually forgiving him, they would never have their creepy connection back.
2. NIGHTWING AND TARANTULA
What better way for a superhero to prove their love for a peer than by destroying their most violent nemesis? Catalina Flores, the second Tarantula, seemed to think just that, taking out Nightwing’s enemy Blockbuster in order to win his affections in Nightwing #93. Sort of hard for someone to notice those things when they’re passed out from the physical damage and exhaustion of a battle.
That didn’t seem to bother Tarantula, who straddles Nightwing while he’s lying almost unconscious on a rooftop. He can barely lift his head (let alone anything else), but soon she’s grinding on him and telling him to just go with it. He’s even muttering “Don’t touch me” the whole time, but that falls on deaf, lovestruck ears. The two hook-up and it’s anything but consensual.
1. ULTIMATE WOLVERINE AND MJ
Resulting in one of the creepiest hookups between characters, the events of Ultimate Spider-Man #66 involve Wolverine and Spider-Man switching bodies. Wolverine had been mercilessly hitting on Jean Grey and so, to teach him a lesson, she swapped his body with Peter Parker, who at the time was dating a 15-year old Mary Jane.
Wolverine may not be stoked about having to go to high school, but he’s certainly not mad when MJ shows up to walk him to school and starts loving on him. They share a kiss, and in the next issue it’s even hinted at that Wolverine tried to sleep with her, but she told him they wouldn’t be doing that “until they were older”. Peter Parker is understandably horrified to hear that once they’re back in their own bodies.
Which of these hook-ups is the most disturbing to you? Let us know in the comments!
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