WHAT IS THE BUY PILE?

Every week Hannibal Tabu (winner of the 2012 Top Cow Talent Hunt/blogger/novelist/poet/jackass on Twitter/head honcho of Komplicated) grabs a whole lotta comics. These periodicals are quickly sorted (how) into two piles -- the "buy" pile (a small pile most weeks, comprised of planned purchases) and the "read" pile (often huge, often including comics that are really crappy but have some value to stay abreast of). Thursday afternoons you'll be able to get his thoughts (and they're just the opinions of one guy, so calm down, and here's some common definitions used in the column) about all of that ... which goes something like this ...

THE BUY PILE FOR JUNE 29, 2016

Unbeatable Squirrel Girl #9

(Marvel Comics)

Ah, romance. It confounds even the most powerful, so when Squirrel Girl's date goes dramatically wrong and Mole Man shows up with what could be considered a legitimate beef, Squirrel Girl is forced into one of her most challenging adventures yet. Without spoiling things, it is challenging to encapsulate how ridiculous and wonderful this turned out. The effervescent Ryan North has done it again with this script, and the visual team of Erica Henderson, Tom Fowler, David Malki, Braden Lamb, Rico Renzi and Travis Lanham turning in another perfectly pitched issue with tension, intimacy and adventure. Great stuff.

Cryptocracy #1

(Dark Horse Comics)

Jump from the Read Pile.

For its ambition alone, this fun conspiracy theory earned a ride home. What if every crazy idea Fox Mulder ever had was not only true, but better organized and professionally run, with a taste of the workplace whimsy of "Superhuman Resources" or "Men in Black" and the competing families of "Lazarus," all in the modern day? You'd get a focus on Agent Shin, a mid-level operative hanging out with his bear-man best friend, managing banks of telepathic Roswell aliens managing the global zeitgeist and secretly feeding nuggets of intel to a fetching tinfoil hat radio host. This is all going really well, so when the script from Van Jensen tosses in a succession crisis and a sense of urgency, this issue immediately "clicked" as the issue told a tale -- a bad day for holders of secrets gets worse -- and enticed for the future. Kudos to visual team Pete Woods and Nate Piekos for taking what could have been a mess and making it masterful. A very nice surprise.

Deathstroke Annual #2

(DC Comics)

Jump from the Read Pile.

Along what's called the Silk Road, multiple less-than-scrupulous parties trade in opium and minuscule volumes of power over others. In a fictional country with a situation like that, Deathstroke comes to town with a plan, an extremely smart and clever plan, that unfolds over the course of this wonderful, surprising book as a masterpiece of murder and mercenary obligation. An assassin named The Balkan is terrorizing an opium cartel and they hire Deathstroke to hack away at his employers. From that simple premise, writer Phil Hester delivers an issue with such care and focus that it's remarkable, down to its pitch perfect ending. The art team of Mirko Colak, Roberto Viacava, Michael Spicer and Dave Sharpe help make this desert tragedy visceral and immediate, perfectly capturing the desolation and desperation of this moment in time. Outstanding stuff.

Mockingbird #4

(Marvel Comics)

Jump from the Read Pile.

If "Danger Girl" was less sizzle and more substance, it would be like this enticing issue where Hawkeye again gets in too deep and his ex-wife has to save him. That's not everything that happens as the titular super spy digs into something literally eating away at her and this issue mixes science, espionage, romance and comic book action (wait until you meet Total Idea Mechanics and can't feel your tongue). This superbly engaging book has Chelsea Cain, Kate Niemczyk, Sean Parsons, Rachelle Rosenberg and Joe Caramagna firing on all pistons, delivering a superbly engaging, re-readable joyride.

WHAT'S THE PROGNOSIS?

Three jumps? Holy crap, that went well!

THIS WEEK'S READ PILE

Honorable Mentions: Stuff worth noting, even if it's not good enough to buy

"Call Of Duty Black Ops III" #5 was a non-stop thrill ride of high capacity magazines and unsafe speeds. It's got video game excitement and no brakes and no characterization, which isn't bad but is very confectionary.

Not fast enough, not smart enough and by no means feared enough, "Darth Vader" #22 shows the Dark Lord of the Sith struggling to retain his mojo while his subordinates led an all-too-brief subplot that at least moved them close to the action. A mild stumble, plot wise, but still as gorgeous as ever.

"Jem And The Holograms" #16 had two bands opposing a sentient artificial intelligence that could use mind control to take over crowds of people. Of course the solution included a song, but the climactic scenes were limp and the final resolution empty. Great looking book, some good ideas, but not sticking the landing at all.

"Uncanny Inhumans" #11 was close to the mark as the Inhuman nation decided to make a secretive response to Tony Stark kidnapping and torturing one of their citizens. This means clandestine operations all over the world, the debut of a new Inhuman intelligence operative and some very personal attacks. Stark takes this all in stride -- it's not like he hasn't gone broke and rebuilt in past continuities, why not this one? -- until it gets much realer than anybody wanted. Great artwork, a bit slow on the plot and execution but conceptually sound.

The "Meh" Pile Not good enough to praise, not bad enough to insult

"Penny Dreadful" #2, "Silk" #9, "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Bebop And Rocksteady Destroy Everything" #5, "Spider-Gwen Annual" #1 "X-O Manowar" #47, "Extraordinary X-Men" #11, "Jupiter's Legacy Volume 2" #1, "Spider-Man" #5, "Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency A Spoon Too Short" #5, "Deus Ex Children's Crusade" #5, "Spider-Man Deadpool" #6, "Transformers Vs G.I. JOE" #13, "Dark Knight 3 The Master Race" #5, "Leaving Megalopolis Surviving Megalopolis" #5, "Venom Space Knight" #9, "Ghostbusters International" #6, "Mae" #2, "Star-Lord" #8, "Grayson Annual" #3, "Judge Dredd" #7, "Captain Marvel" #6, "Will Eisner's The Spirit" #12, "Hot Damn" #3, "Micronauts" #3, "Doctor Who The Ninth Doctor" #3, "Teen Titans Annual" #2, "Street Fighter X G.I. JOE" #5, "Uncanny X-Men" #9, "East Of West" #27, "Transformers Sins Of The Wreckers" #5, "Doctor Who The Twelfth Doctor Year Two" #7, "All-New All-Different Avengers" #11.

No, just ... no ... These comics? Not so much ...

"Black Panther" #3 is less a story and more a tone poem. Unfortunately, that tone is deaf, as the titular character isn't good at being a hero or a king, turning a blind eye to suffering, working poorly with the reinstated secret police he himself outlawed, navel gazing about his "failures" and generally being a guest star in his own comic book. Add to that the jagged and incomplete Midnight Angels subplot, the tacked on bit about his sister Shuri in the Wakandan afterlife and literally all this book has going for it is breathtaking visuals. A high profile train wreck.

In "Captain America Steve Rogers" #2, everything about the "shocking" ending of last issue is explained in a whoosh of handwavium in a way that makes perfect sense based on the internal logic of the story. However, in the larger sense of the idea of the character, especially in light of a recent successful film starring said character, it makes about as much sense as having Superman torture puppies in his off hours. Gorgeous depictions, intricately assembled execution, wholly uninteresting and wrong-headed concepts at the foundation of the work. If nothing is sacred, then everything is up for grabs. Nothing good comes from any of that.

"Hyperion" #4 has a Superman-class extrahuman struggling against a carnival full of super powered hillbillies. "That's completely stupid," you might be thinking. "With that kind of power, he should make short work of them!" You'd be right, as the one page when he actually starts to remember, "Oh, right, I'm ridiculously powerful" shows. Unfortunately, he shares the spotlight with a plucky runaway who you won't remember tomorrow, and deals with a poor man's knock off of a Justice League bad guy. Tedious and uninspiring.

SO, HOW BAD WAS IT?

How is Marvel gonna throw down two great buys and then three catastrophes? Sheesh.

WINNERS AND LOSERS

Four purchases beats three stinkers so let's say we all had a good time this week.

THE BUSINESS

This week the writer of this column was the focus of two fantastic podcasts: a great interview with Le Ill Kid on Choppin' It Up Geek and 3 Black Geeks. Worth a look!

The writer of this column isn't just a jerk who spews his opinions -- he writes stuff too. A lot. Like what? You can get "The Crown: Ascension" and "Faraway," five bucks a piece, or spend a few more dollars and get "New Money" #1 from Canon Comics, the rambunctious tale of four multimillionaires running wild in Los Angeles, a story in "Watson and Holmes Volume 2" co-plotted by "2 Guns" creator Steven Grant, two books from Stranger Comics -- "Waso: Will To Power" and the sequel "Waso: Gathering Wind" (the tale of a young man who had leadership thrust upon him after a tragedy), or "Fathom Sourcebook" #1, "Soulfire Sourcebook" #1 and "Executive Assistant Iris Sourcebook" #1, the official guides to those Aspen Comics franchises. Love these reviews? It'd be great if you picked up a copy. Hate these reviews? Find out what this guy thinks is so freakin' great. There's free sample chapters too, and all proceeds to towards the care and maintenance of his kids ... oh, and to buy comic books, of course. There's also a bunch of great stuff -- fantasy, superhero stuff, magical realism and more -- available from this writer on Amazon. What are you waiting for? Go buy a freakin' book already!

Got a comic you think should be reviewed in The Buy Pile? If we get a PDF of a fairly normal length comic (i.e. "less than 64 pages") by no later than 24 hours before the actual issue arrives in stores (and sorry, we can only review comics people can go to stores and buy), we guarantee the work will get reviewed, if remembered. Physical comics? Geddouttahere. Too much drama to store with diminishing resources. If you send it in more than two days before comics come out, the possibility of it being forgotten increases exponentially. Oh, you should use the contact form as the CBR email address hasn't been regularly checked since George W. Bush was in office. Sorry!