A series that was once a drop in the bucket of Fox's seemingly endless grabs at replicating The Simpsons has now become a beast of its own. The worst kept secret in animation, everyone with a functioning screen knows Bob's Burgers and the various, quirky tales of the Belchers. Bob Belcher struggles to take a slice of the world for his own. Louise Belcher constantly view for mischief.
Gene works his way to becoming a child star. However, if there was one Belcher in particular that the internet loves to relate to and quote, it would be its Emmy Award winning, teenage heartthrob, Tina Belcher. One of media's most eclectic yet trying characters, Tina has redefined what the pubescent experience has meant for sitcom, teenage girls and has connected with more fans than past sitcom idol ever has.
In celebration of how she's done this, this list will be running down a few of the most iconic quotes from everyone's favorite glasses wearing Belcher (sorry Linda).
10 If you need me, I’ll be here on the floor dying.
This. End of description. Part of Tina Belcher's endless charm is her capacity to express teenage angst and confusion with the same cavalier drama of an actual teenager with the added deadpan, panache of a Belcher. The beauty here being that she doesn't say this line with a lot of drama or sadness.
She says it with such a plain, flat voice that it blends in with everything else that she says, allowing the punch line to hit the listener with the same surprise as her entire demeanor. Rest up Tina. The road gets plenty bumpy from here.
9 I’m no hero. I put my bra on one boob at a time like everyone else.
Tina is the ultimate everyman/everywoman here. She takes this time honored phrase and turns it into a much more personalized one, expressing both faux humility and personality at once.
The phrase is as equally endearing as it is empowering, showing a subtle pride in the female form that certainly creates a humorous visual for the viewer.
8 I’ve logged over 3,000 fantasy hours on my relationship with Jimmy, Jr. You don’t just throw that away.
Tina is the very definition of teenage obsession. She's going through that particular period of pubescence where confusing feelings and hormones interact with both a variety of counter-intuitive media and everyone else's confused, dawdling kids.
She also has the benefit of having a mother that taught her no shame, adding a certain expressive, uninhibited layer to her that just makes for an even sweeter teenage angst cocktail. Drinking from that glass, it's no wonder that she so readily and willingly attaches herself to the slightest bits of romance. One drop of attention and sensual nature becomes magnified under her thick glasses to greater, stranger proportions.
7 Here’s a bunch of numbers that may look random, but they’re my phone number.
Seriously, though, someone steal this. Though Tina is going through such an awkward and confusing time in her life, that doesn't mean that she doesn't come across a few great one liners and pick up lines every now and then.
Case in point: With her same deadpan demeanor and sincerity, she manages to make the simple passing of her phone number ever memorable and humorous. And it's no secret that the major advantage in any pick up line is peacock-ing ones way into the other's imagination.
6 I am a smart, strong, sensual woman.
You go, Tina. You don't even need to say this. You prove this every time you step out on that hallway and give all the boys out there the ol' Belcher one-two. Heck, she even dazzles as soon as she falls out of her bed.
Really, what sells this line, besides the sheer confidence and power, is the fact that it is coming out of an infamously frazzled middle school girl. There's not necessarily an ego but an entire fight when she says this, as she proves to herself first that she is all of the above. It's generally just the perfect mantra to get anyone out of bed. Feel free to customize as needed.
5 Your ass is grass, and I'm gonna mow it.
This line is aggressive in ways that are hard to imagine. It sends certain alarms in the brain that no thought could realistically rationalize. It's just a strange line said with strong passion that all makes for one of the harshest threats every to escape someone's speakers, let alone be addressed to a teenage boy.
Working from the same angle as above, Tina knows how to work it and show her fangs, as this lone phrase exudes a predator's (or, in this case, a lawnmower's) confidence to attack...or mow. Still not sure what to imagine here. It's just hard not to imagine.
4 Oh, it’s okay. I guess I wasn’t meant to have a good life.
The feels, here. Tina in this sentence expresses the same kind of self-defeated turn of phrase that every teenager dreads yet they tell themselves every morning in front of their mirror. It's that slight bit of imposter syndrome that tells young kids everywhere that they don't really deserve anything.
However, hearing it from Tina not only helps relate to the viewer, it also provides a certain level of sympathy and catharsis that helps defeat it. Tina, it's not okay. You were indeed meant to have a good life.
3 Brr. It sure is cold in here. I wish some strong, chivalrous man would lend me his jacket…or pants.
Tina, again, bursting out of the woodwork with pick up lines that practically carry the boys away with a crane. If anything, this one in particular has such an innate sense of confidence and performance to it.
One knows that she must've been mulling over this one for a time, because it is oddly clever and to the point. If not, though, it shows that she has been practicing these lines enough to have practically become a master of them.
2 If boys had uteruses, they’d be called duderuses.
The girl may be controversial, yet she makes an exquisite point. Like the exploratory girl that she is, Tina is one to think quite a bit about the human form. Even at significantly young ages, little kids are curious about each other's anatomies and how things came to be.
Having developed years beyond childish expression, Tina is much more capable of making cogent points about the greater subtleties of human bodies. Indeed, if boys did have uteruses, they would probably be called "duderuses." It would be a crime otherwise.
1 Uhhh.
Perhaps Tina's most iconic line of all, Tina expresses all of which has been expressed above in less than even one word. A noise really. Everything there is to be anxious, confused, terrified, and curious about is expressed in quick succession and effective action under the simple, shifting tones of her groan.
Also, everyone has probably said this at one point in their lives. Not even the best liars in the world have gone their entire lives without uttering the infamous "Uhhh." It's a dreaded call that Tina unfortunately is constantly haunted by. It's hilarious.