In Remember to Forget, we spotlight comic book stories that I wish I could forget, but I can’t, so I instead share them with you all!

Today, we look at how messed up so much of Superman's Girl Friend, Lois Lane #89 (by Leo Dorfman, Curt Swan and Mike Esposito) was!

A while back, I featured this issue as part of my month's worth of notable comic book weddings. At the time, I said that I featured it because it was NOTABLE, not because it was actually a good comic, as it is kind of batshit insane.

You can tell right from the beginning that A. the comic book is insane and B. that Leo Dorfman mostly didn't care about character development. I say this not as a general shot against Dorfman, as he wrote many fine stories over the years. Just noting that Dorfman was never a guy who was like, "Oh man, does this make sense for the character of Superman? Would Lois Lane really do this?" In his time on the Superman and Superboy titles, his creation of Pete Ross was pretty much the only time I recall reading a Leo Dorfman story where it was like, "Oh, hey, let's keep this character consistent." Dorfman's talent was in coming up with clever stories, writing them and then moving on to the next wacky story. And, again, Dorfman came up with some FASCINATINGLY wacky stories. Dude came up with Superman Red/Superman Blue, for crying out loud! He was a very talented writer. Again, though, he just didn't care if his characterizations matched other comics. He was very much like Robert Kanigher or Bob Haney. He would come up with a story for this particular issue and that's all he cared about. But he hoped that you dug that story while you were here. I respect his approach, but sometimes, said approach (the same went for Kanigher and Haney) would put characters into SUCH weird spots.

That all takes us to Superman sneaking into the Bat-Cave to spy on Batman, Lois Lane and Batman and Lois' son, Batman Jr.

Just think about how messed up this is! He's broken into the Bat-Cave to spy on his best friend and his best friend's wife, who is also his ex-girlfriend, while wishing that their son was his son. It's such a disturbing approach by the Man of Steel.

But don't worry, Superman isn't the only fairly disturbing guy in this comic book (and, of course, it IS an imaginary story. I don't think that necessarily excuses it, but it IS an imaginary story, so there are certain allowances that you have to make for it). Anyhow, the issue opens with Batman and Robin stopping a bad guy and returning to the Bat-Cave before they head to a charity gala in their secret identities. Robin has some new trophies for the Bat-Cave, but Batman has to go to a secret locked room that Robin can never enter. The only room in the entire Wayne Manor and Bat-Cave where Robin cannot enter. And that room? It's a freakin' shrine that Batman has created for Lois Lane, who he has no relationship with! It is filled with all of the things he bought for her that he could never actually give her because she's his best friend's girlfriend! DUDE!

Seriously, DUDE!

At the gala, Bruce Wayne saves Lois Lane's life, but he realizes that she only has eyes for Superman. Luckily for Bruce, Superman has been teaming up with Wonder Woman a lot recently and it gives Bruce an opening to woo Lois as Bruce Wayne, since she is all mad about Superman and Wonder Woman (this is during the period where Wonder Woman lost her powers). So Bruce wines and dines Lois and, really, Bruce Wayne can SERIOUSLY wine and dine someone, ya know? He proposes and she says yes.

Of course, like every superhero of the Silver Age, apparently, Bruce is cool with sharing his life with Lois Lane, but not cool with telling her his secret identity before the wedding. I get the idea PERHAPS that you might think she's marrying you for the fact that you're Batman (the cover of the issue even has Superman all sad about how Lois is marrying Bruce and not Batman, so that's clear that she's marrying Bruce for HIMSELF. Of course, "himself," is a great looking millionaire, but, well, baby steps when you're moving from a literal Superman to Bruce Wayne). But once she's said she will marry you, you HAVE to tell her, dummy!

He does not, of course, but he DOES tell his buddy Superman, who pretends to take it well, because no one wants to ever have Batman see them cry (it's a fair point). Superman, though, then goes to his Fortress of Solitude and goes to HIS shrine to Lois (which, to be fair, Superman is open about and doesn't keep it hidden) and then PUNCHES AND BREAKS A LOIS LANE BUST!!!

Dang, Superman, that is not remotely healthy! He then breaks down weeping. He is not emotionally stable.

The wedding goes off without a hitch, with Batman being away on a mission so he couldn't make it (I imagine Lois seething that he didn't show up. "It's the Batman/Superman team and he didn't show up? I hope Robin was at least about to be killed!"). After the ceremony, the Dark Knight reveals himself to Lois and she is thrilled that her fiancee lied to her for months, because Lois is just that type of person. And then we get a hilariously dark bit where Robin is now all sad about how this marriage has ruined the Dynamic Duo...

I almost expected Robin to open up his own super secret Lois shrine. What's funny is that this plot goes NOWHERE, as Robin becomes Batman Jr.'s trainer and he's totally happy with the new status quo out of nowhere.

Lois then inadvertently gives away Batman's secret identity. Luckily, though, Superman comes through in the clutch and helps them get out of the jam, but he has to sort of jerkily rub it in that Lois will forever be in danger because of her relationship with Bruce. Just one finally turning of the screw to make himself feel better.

If anyone has suggestion for a future Remember to Forget, feel free to drop me a line at brianc@cbr.com!