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Shame Of Steel: 15 Cringeworthy Things About Superman Fans Wish They Could Forget

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Shame Of Steel: 15 Cringeworthy Things About Superman Fans Wish They Could Forget

Superman is known as one of America’s favorite superheroes in the world of comics. “Superman” has even become a term in it of itself, meaning someone’s real-life hero that people call each other and write songs about. Kids play with action figures of him and adults even collect figurines of him. It is also a popular character to dress up as for Halloween and even comic conventions. But it’s not all daisies and roses when it comes to Superman. Real fans know what lies in his past, but most choose to ignore what he has done and focus on the good.

So Superman started out with the powers of super strength and super speed. Then in the Silver Age he gained more powers such as enhanced vision and hearing. These powers continued to grow and become stronger, making him almost invincible. With a character that is virtually unstoppable, it is up to the writers to get creative and think of new stories. That is when story arcs like dating a mermaid and turning him into a centaur come into play. And those aren’t even the creepiest things about Superman. So here are 15 of the creepiest things about Superman that fans choose to ignore.

15. CENTAUR SUPERMAN

So somewhere out in the world of DC Comics, there is a centaur Superman. Why you ask? Well, why not? The real reason is DC wanted to do a modernized Greek mythology story. This story is called “Whom Gods Destroy” and it is a four-issue mini-series in an alternate history where the Nazis have won.

So Superman is an evil centaur who hasn’t aged and is in love with Lois Lane, so most of that is true to canon, except for the centaur part. In the story, The Man of Steel and Lois go onto German soil to search for Lana. One thing leads to another and Lois gets turned into Wonder Woman and Superman gets transformed into a evil centaur by Circe. The plot twist is the the are just pawns in Zeus and Hera’s chess game.

14. SPANKING

Spanking in comics is always creepy to witness no matter the reason or context. For some reason, the Golden Age of comics that started in the ’40s and became the foundation for comics everywhere is filled with spanking. We see it a lot in Wonder Woman and even in Batman comics, and Superman was no exception.

The way the Man of Steel liked to spank women, and often, might be crossing the line of the fetish borderline. Many of the women that he has spanked have been because he was punishing them in a nonsexual way. Sort of like how one would punish a child, except these are grown women. There are also cases of Superman when he was younger as Superboy getting spanked as well.

13. THE MULLET

The ’90s were a time of flannels and bad hair styles. Superman was no exception to these trends in this era. He was a victim of the the famous business-in-the-front-and-party-in-the-back mullet. And what is even more creepy is that the appearance of the new hairstyle lead him to even weirder fashion paths including some a bright blue electric suit and powers later on.

Superman has had long hair before. But it was the famous Wonder Woman cover that really put an emphasis on a full-on mulleted Superman, drawn by Brian Bolland. Is it said that they wanted his hair to look handsome, and originally it was long, and then eventually turned into a mullet. There were even rumors that the mullet would appear on Superman in the Justice League film, but we got the moustache instead because of the actor’s contract.

12. MERMAID LOVER

It takes a lot of creativity to come up with new adventures for the Man of Steel, so we give the creators the benefit of the doubt when not everything written about Superman is quality. The storyline of Clark meeting and falling for a mermaid, without knowing she is a mermaid is not one of the better story arcs.

Clark went to Metropolis University and met a lady named Lori who was in a wheelchair with a blanket covering her legs. The quickly fell in love, and still Clark was unaware of what was under the blanket the whole time. Clark soon asked Lori to marry him (because this was in the ‘50s and ’60s) but she declined. Upon further investigation, Clark finally discovered that he had been in love and purposed to a mermaid the whole time. This is one creepy love story fans like to forget.

11. TINY SUPERMAN

Tiny versions of things can be cute, like a tiny puppy but maybe not a tiny Superman. The fact that Superman is able to release a tiny version of himself from his hand is just creepy. This fact originated in 1958 in the comics “Superman’s New Power!” Being almost invincible was not enough for the writers, Superman needs a new and never before seen power!

In the issue, the Man of Steel loses his superpowers when he discovers a spaceship from dealing with complications from an earthquake. In exchange for losing his powers, he gains the ability to shoot a tiny version of himself that has his normal powers. Citizens of Metropolis think tiny Superman is cute, so regular-size Superman gets jealous and tries to kill it. A creepy ending to a creepy story.

10. HE’S SCARED OF VAMPIRES

Like most superheroes, Superman has weaknesses. His most well-known weakness is kryptonite, but it goes deeper than that. Most fans like to ignore the fact that Superman is easily hypnotized by vampires, and why would we be proud of this bizarre fact regarding our superhero? It is weird and unbecoming of the powerful Kryptonian. The story of how he becomes hypnotized by vampires is even creepier.

The Man of Steel is susceptible to magic, and according to DC, magic includes blood-sucking vampires. He encountered many different vampires in his life that fans usually don’t mention when they talk about Superman’s achievements. One of the vampires is called Crucifer. Crucifer was able to hypnotize the Man of Steel and drink his blood. Although he did not enjoy the taste of his blood, he still drank it and by doing so, was able to have control over Clark.

9. HE KILLED A PREGNANT LOIS LANE

Who kills the love of their life when they are pregnant with their child? Superman does. This all started with the video game Injustice: Gods Among Us. In the game, the lines of good and evil are blurred and Superman turns evil, so they needed a motive for his suddenly bad behavior. They decided to create an origins story, and in that story, Superman kills a pregnant Lois Lane.

In Clark’s defense, he didn’t know he was really killing Lois. He thought he was killing Doomsday. In the story, Joker releases fear toxins that make Superman think Lois Lane is Doomsday. The Joker also attaches a nuclear launch to Lois’ heart, and once her heart stopped beating, the attack was launched. This is not one of Superman’s finer moments in the DC universe. He let the Joker, of all villains, get the best of him.

8. HE CAUSED LUTHOR’S BALDNESS

Lex Luthor and Superman have been frenemies for the longest of times. Luthor likes to take over the world and doesn’t have good hair, and Superman likes to save the world and has good hair. But it could be theorized that the main reason they don’t get along, despite all the bad things Luthor has done, is because Luthor blames The Man of Steel for his baldness.

Lex Luthor wasn’t always bald, he started out with a full head of hair. The story behind his baldness is that the original Superman artist Joe Shuster was so overworked from his job that he forgot to draw hair on Luthor in a comic strip. Then 20 years later, they gave Luthor a reason that he was bald. When they were younger, Luthor set his lab on fire. Superman blew it out but created a chemical reaction that made Luthor bald permanently.

7. VEGETARIAN

Superman is technically powered by the sun. This means his energy and sustainability is solar powered. Being solar powered also means he doesn’t need to eat food. This has been in effect for him since post-Crisis. You have probably seen Clark eat once and a while, and it is mainly to keep up appearances and actually enjoys eating food.

What is weird is that Superman has decided to become a vegetarian, even though he doesn’t need food in the first place. He is similar to plants in that they rely heavily on the sun to live. Another reason why being a vegetarian is weird for Superman is that he is an “American” superhero. Most red-blooded Americans were shocked to find him a vegetarian. Americans are known for their love of meat, and being a vegetarian is not considered an American tradition to some.

6. ROBOT SUPERMEN

So in the Silver Age in comics, Superman had a whole army of himself made out of robots. What’s even creepier is that the robots didn’t stop at Superman though, he even had a couple robots of his human identity Clark as well as Superboy, Supergirl and Linda Lee.

He created these robots so he could be in more than one place at a time. The robots possessed only a fraction of the Man of Steel’s strength though. The robots of Supergirl were created so that she can fight crime and still have her presence in school without ruining her secret identity. The robots were brought back post-Crisis too so Superman could police the whole earth with his robot army. Who polices the Superman robot army though?

5. SUPER TWINS

“The Amazing Story of Superman-Red and Superman-Blue!” is as compelling as a story as you think: not very. In this story of Superman, Clark is apparently a greedy genius because he invents a machine to enhance his intelligence. The side effect is it makes him a clone, or twin. One comes out red, another comes out blue and they decide to name themselves after the color of their costumes: Superman-Red and Superman-Blue (how creative).

The twins team up to combine their intelligence and use it to fix thing like an enlarging gun so they can enlarge the city of Kandor. They also create an underwater city for the Atlanteans. This story arc of the twins is something fans definitely like to forget from how creepy it is and out of the norm for the Man of Steel.

4. FILM STAR

Superman and Big Barda make a Porno Action Comics

Yes, that’s right. In the world of DC Comics, there is an adult film starring Superman and Big Barda. In Superman’s defense, like most, he didn’t know it was happening. This creepy event happens, of course, in the Golden and Silver Ages of comics. It doesn’t get too much attention from the fans and other forms of media, but it still exists out there.

The story goes that Big Barda was brainwashed and forced to record resque footage. Sleez did the brainwashing who is a former henchmen of Darkseid. Superman also got mixed into the brainwashing and Sleez made them made a “film” together. So next time you see anything involving the Man of Steel, you can think to yourself, Superman made a dirty film.

3. HOOKING UP WITH MORTALS

This is a theory that rustles around with fans but writers of Superman forget about. So Superman has incredible strength, laser vision and is an alien from another planet. According to those calculations, any mortal woman would probably get crushed should they ever get intimate. On the other hand, Superman has control of his powers, but is it possible every time in the heat of the moment he had complete control? It just doesn’t add up.

There are actually a lot of analysis written in regards to Clark having sex with mortals. Many people that think that there are too many factors at play and the fact that he hasn’t killed Lois yet is incredible and/or impossible (if any of this was possible in the first place). Either way, having sex with an alien is some real next level stuff.

2. TURNED LOIS LANE BLACK

In November of 1970, Superman’s girlfriend Lois Lane turns black for a day and the title of the issue is “I Am Curious (Black).” The ’70s were a different time, but that doesn’t excuse this creepy plot in DC comics. Lois wants to turn change her race for a day merely out of curiosity and she asks Clark to find a way to do it for her.

Little Africa is considered the “ghetto” part of Metropolis which is even racist in the name. But Lois wanted to write a story about life in Little Africa so she goes into a transformation machine provided by Clark. Once she turns black, she goes on a adventure in Little Africa, meets friends and even saves a life. How nice and wholesome…

1. PINK KRYPTONITE

Superman Exposed To Pink Kryptonite in Supergirl

The true fans know there is more than one type of kryptonite and also the true fans like to forget what the pink kryptonite does. Green is the most well-known but there are also red, gold, white, blue, yellow, black, silver, purple and … pink. Pink kryptonite appeared in the Supergirl series and had a strange effect on the Man of Steel.

The issue does not flat out say what it does but it definitely implies that it makes Superman attracted to members of the same sex. Now there is nothing wrong with being gay, but why did they make pink kryptonite make Superman have gay tendencies? In the issue, they used the pink kryptonite as a satire or comical approach which isn’t the politically correct way to approach sexuality either.

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