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15 Awkward Times Superheroes Got TOO Close

by  in Lists Comment
15 Awkward Times Superheroes Got TOO Close

We get it, superheroes are people too. They have the same needs as all of us, but sometimes, those needs aren’t managed in the healthiest of affairs. On occasion, a writer will decide it’s high time some spandex-wearing superhero needs to shake things up by getting down and dirty with the last person you would expect and the results can often be awkward or just plain creepy. Not that we are judging here at CBR, but for some of these… well, you’ll see.

RELATED: 15 Superheroes Who Would Rather Hook Up With You Than Save You

We didn’t want to just dive into the standard “What were you thinking?” category while going after some of these superhero hookups. Instead, we wanted to dive into the nitty-gritty of the weirdest and worst choices these folks have made. Like we said, we get it, but really, we don’t in a lot of these situations, which is why we threw this list together. Some of these are on here because of what we know about the characters involved and some are here because we just can’t figure out what they were thinking when they wrote this stuff. With that, we give you the 15 Most Awkward Superhero Hookups we could find in all of comics and comic-related media.

15. MAGNETO & THE WASP

Magneto and The Wasp

There was a lot of interaction between superheroes and supervillains throughout Secret Wars, but none as particularly awkward and unnecessary as the time Magnus and Janet Van Dyne hooked up because… reasons? Magnus came at her hard with a charm befitting a man who was raised to be a gentleman while Janet’s defenses were only put up for show until she finally gave in to his charms. Of course, it turned out she was just playing him the whole time!

We get it, you were transported across time and space to fight it out in an ultimate battle so why not get a little freaky with someone you wouldn’t ever have the chance with otherwise? Was it necessary? No. Did it leave fans scratching their heads? Perhaps. Whatever the reason for it happening, it didn’t mess with either character in the long run, but it was one weird little hookup. What happens on Battleworld stays on Battleworld.

14. WONDER WOMAN & BATMAN

Wonder Woman and Batman

This one shouldn’t be much of a surprise to anyone. Bruce is, by pretty much all standards of measurement, a magnificent human being. Meanwhile, Dianna is… well, she’s a Goddess. So, it stands to reason that they would become romantically involved at some point in their 70+ years of coexistence in the comics. We aren’t going to go into that so much as a particular episode of Justice League Unlimited where Batman professes his love to Diana… when she is a pig.

In the episode, aptly titled “This Little Piggy,” Dianna is turned into a pig and Zatanna has some trouble turning her back. That’s when Batman feels it necessary to admit his love while stroking the little piggy’s back. He doesn’t go into detail, but does admit that, “Maybe there was” when Zatanna asks if there was something between them. That’s about as much as Batman would ever say.

13. MAGNETO & ROGUE

Magneto and Rogue

Looks like ol’ Magneto is back at it and this time, he took the prize few ever could: Rogue! During the Age of Apocalypse event, Magneto was wearing his “good guy” hat as the leader of the X-Men and he had been working diligently to win the affections of the lovely young Rogue. At the time, Rogue had conveniently absorbed Polaris’ magnetic abilities, which effectively canceled out Magneto’s making him able to… ahem, make contact.

They ended up getting together for a while, much to Gambit’s chagrin. They lived together and Rogue even bore him a son. They named him Charles and Jean took over control of the team. It was an awkward pairing, to be sure, but it also made a sort of practical sense.

12. SHE-HULK & CAIN MARKO

She-Hulk and Juggernaut

Heavy hitters like She-Hulk often need to look within their weight-class to find someone they can mess around with. It’s why she got together with her cousin in the Old Man Logan storyline, but for this list, we are going to focus instead on her inappropriate relationship with Cain Marko, aka, the Juggernaut.

The two got together in a single panel of Uncanny X-Men #435, written by Chuck Austen and penciled by Ron Garney. Now, it isn’t unusual for Ms. Walters — she’s been with a lot of heroes in her day. Cain Marko isn’t just a supervillain, he’s not really a nice guy to the people who do like him and he has pretty much zero game. This was later retconned as an alternate universe version of She-Hulk, but it was more than enough to spark all sorts of fan-fiction in the panel’s aftermath.

11. GWEN STACY & NORMAN OSBORN

Gwen Stacey and Norman Osborn

If you are a Spider-Man fan, you might recall that in the main universe, Green Goblin dropped Gwen off a bridge, which led to her (apparent) death in The Amazing Spider-Man #121, written by Gerry Conway and penciled by Gil Kane. If you know that, then it might come as a shock to learn that the two got it on when Norman was going through a regretful phase, trying to diminish the Green Goblin side of his personality.

They did unquestionable things between the sheets and Gwen got pregnant! She flew to Europe to have the kids, who quickly developed and grew up in an abnormally fast amount of time! When this didn’t kill Gwen, she flew back to New York to try and make things right with Peter, but Norman went a little green over this and he ended up throwing her off a building.

10. MARY JANE & WOLVERINE (ULTIMATE)

Mary Jane and Wolverine (Ultimate)

Gwen Stacy wasn’t the only one of Pete’s girls who got nasty with someone else. Mary Jane Watson joined that club when she apparently hooked up with Wolverine… sort of. Back in Ultimate Spider-Man #66, written by Brian Michael Bendis and penciled by Mark Bagley, Pete and logan switch bodies. You know, that old chestnut!

Eventually, MJ and Pete/Wolverine get to making out a little when she joins him on his way to school as Peter. While it seemed that the two didn’t sleep together, Wolverine definitely made the attempt. By issue #67, it’s suggested that he made the pass, but was rebuffed with the comment that they should wait “until they were older.” So at least Marvel knew not to have teens screwing around after a body-switching mishap in the Ultimate line of books.

9. ROBIN & WONDER GIRL

Robin and Wonder Girl

When your best buddy is killed and all of your attempts to bring him back to life fail, you have to sleep with his girlfriend, right? That’s what Robin must have been thinking when, after Superboy’s death, he and Wonder Girl are suffering the loss and find comfort in one another’s arms.

It happened in Teen Titans #37, written by Geoff Johns and penciled by Tony S. Daniel. We get it, you are sad and so is she, so why not give in to your baser instincts and make out while crying in your lab? The only problem is that Robin had just thrown down Superboy’s genetic material all over the floor in frustration before Wonder Girl arrived, meaning he kissed his dead pal’s girl while standing on his remains. She ended up pushing him away and flying out. When Superboy was resurrected, things between her and Robin were awkward.

8. WOLVERINE & SQUIRREL GIRL

Wolverine and Squirrel Girl

This pairing played out rather strangely when it was revealed in New Avengers #7, written by Brian Michael Bendis and penciled by Stuart Immonen. When Squirrel Girl pops over to take care of Jessica Jones and Luke Cage’s baby, she bumps into Logan and the reunion is awkward, to say the least.

There’s a comment or two on how each other is looking with Squirrel Girl saying that she hopes they can agree to be professional. It plays out like any awkward scene involving two exes who would rather not bump into one another in a casual encounter among their friends. It doesn’t really help when you consider that Logan is something like 10 times her age, but for a woman who could talk Galactus out of destroying the Earth, you can imagine she could hold her own with Weapon-X.

7. SCOTT SUMMERS & EMMA FROST

Cyclops and Emma Frost

It’s not so awkward or unusual that Scott Summers and Emma Frost would get together, it’s how it came to be that’s just plain weird. They first got together psychically/only in their minds thanks to Frost’s telepathy and didn’t decide to make their affair physical until after Jean Grey’s death. After Jean died for the second or third time (it’s difficult to keep track), her psyche gets catapulted more than a century into the future.

Jean sees how Scott’s inability to get over her death led the world into chaos and it happened when Scott passed on Emma’s advances. What is a Marvel Girl to do? She sends a psychic message through time to nudge him into going for Emma. The two finally kiss only days after Jean’s death… while standing on her grave and it was all thanks to Jean’s interference. That’s about as weird as they come.

6. COLOSSUS & KITTY PRYDE

Colossus and Kitty Pryde

When they met during the Dark Phoenix Saga, Colossus was 19 while Kitty was only 14 years old and the youngest member of the X-Men (replacing Piotr as the youngest up to that point). The two were clearly attracted to one another despite their statutory age difference. They first made out after Kitty even commented that she wished she were older and while Piotr put up a bit of a fight, it eventually led to much more than just kissing.

Fortunately, they don’t act on their impulses until Kitty is much older. This is a comic book for crying out loud and kids might read these things! At least the good folks at Marvel knew to keep it clean until she was at least old enough to vote, if not drink alcohol.

5. HAL JORDAN & ARISIA

Hal Jordan and Arisia

Hal Jordan is usually the type of guy everyone aspires to be. He pretty much does what’s right all the time, which is why he initially pushed Arisia, a 13-year old alien he recruited into the Corps who was desperately in love with him. We get the hero worship on her part and sure, Hal’s a good-looking guy, but he really was more than twice her age.

That was until she used the powers of her Green Lantern Ring to change her body into a more appropriate age. Her body was of the right size and shape, but her mind was still that of a little girl, but that didn’t stop Hal from indulging in his baser instincts and succumbing to her charms. Basically, it’s the reverse of the movie Big and it’s not OK.

4. SUPERMAN & SUPERGIRL

Superman and Supergirl

That’s right… Superman and his cousin, Supergirl were together (don’t worry, there’s a twist). In an unfilmed version of the script for Superman III, Supergirl was intended to be Supe’s love interest. In the film, she was raised by Brainiac before eventually coming to earth to meet and fall in love with Superman. Thankfully, the film didn’t turn out that way so we were spared such a crazy story. Or so we thought!

Then there’s Action Comics #289, written by Jerry Siegel and penciled by Jim Mooney in 1961. Superman confesses that he would marry his cousin since it was totally legal on Krypton and in some countries on Earth. He then shoots to an alternate Earth where a grown-up version of his cousin is ready to go. They get married and do unnatural things before Superman has to high tail it back to Earth.

3. BATMAN & BATGIRL

Batman and Batgirl

Fans were pretty much outraged when DC decided to pad the running time for the animated film Batman: The Killing Joke by having Barbara Gordon take out her frustrations with her mentor by climbing on top of him and doing the nasty on a rooftop. It was unnecessary, it was weird, and it wasn’t the first time.

In Batman Beyond 2.0, which was set two years after the animated series Batman Beyond ended, Terry McGinnis is being mentored by Dick Grayson, the former Robin. Dick isn’t his old mentor’s biggest fan by this time because it turns out that not only did Bruce Wayne sleep with his girl, Barbara, he actually got her pregnant while she was still going out with Dick. When you think about the implications there, it’s worse than the tryst the couple shared on the roof of that building everyone was so up in arms about.

2. NIGHTCRAWLER & AMANDA SEFTON

Nightcrawler and Amanda Sefton

Kurt Wagner’s origin was finally revealed after some time in the books to let us know that he was the son of Mystique and the demon Azazel. It turned out, he had a bit of an adoptive family to include a sister named Jimaine whom he grew up alongside into his early 20s. It had been years since he had seen her when he is trapped in Hell and put on trial for killing his brother, Stefan.

Kurt assumed Jimaine believed he was guilty in killing their brother, but she came to his defense in hell. When it’s all over and Kurt’s innocence is confirmed, they all go back to Earth and he asks his sister where she’s been. It turns out she was parading around Earth as a human named Amanda Sefton. Sefton just so happened to be Kurt’s girlfriend of the previous few months. Let that sink in.

1. SCARLET WITCH & QUICKSILVER (ULTIMATE)

Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver

Speaking of brother and sister duos who shouldn’t have crossed the line, Scarlet Witch, and Quicksilver are a bit more than brother and sister in the Ultimate Universe. This disturbing union had been hinted at for a while in the books until an event in Ultimates 3 where it’s pretty much spelled out for us. Cap notices Wanda’s outfit is a bit too revealing so he suggests she wear something more appropriate.

Quicksilver’s reaction is pretty normal: he threatens to kill the good Captain, which isn’t the sort of response he expected. When he talks to The Wasp about what’s going on, she confirms that the pair are in love, but it takes Cap a minute to come to terms with what’s going on. They don’t love each other like most siblings… they are, to use the parlance of our times, “In love.”

What did you think of our awkward superhero unions? Did we miss any of your favorites? Let us know in the comments!

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