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And Of Course - So WHY Does Doctor Octopus Want to Marry Aunt May?

The wedding is interrupted the next issue by Hammerhead's men...

Octopus escapes with May and Spidey hitches a ride. It is now that Spidey lets us in on the plot. Octopus married May because she had inherited something in Canada that he wanted. What was it?

Yes, a freakin NUCLEAR FACILITY! Aunt May inherited a freakin' NUCLEAR FACILITY! Who in the world is Aunt May related to that they left her a Canadian nuclear facility in their will?! To say that this makes no sense would be going too far, it makes less than no sense. It actually makes negative sense. I also like the idea that there was some relative of hers who was somehow older than Aunt May, the oldest person in all of comics.

To recap, Doctor Octopus takes her in as a housekeeper (actually out of the good of his heart, which is an interesting twist). Once there, he comes across a letter from the Canadian lawyer that she inherited a nuclear facility in Canada. He then hides the information, kills the lawyer and then marries her, with the plan to kill her off once they're married so that HE inherits the nuclear facility. That's cuckoo bananas. Especially because it is ABANDONED. Just use it without her ever knowing about it! You're a CRIMINAL! You don't need to inherit it!

Spidey arrives at the island and springs Aunt May, as Hammerhead's men arrive and there is a final showdown...

Now THAT's how you wrap a story up. Just nuke everything.

So anyhow, that's a weird ass plot idea. But come on, I thee Web? That's genius. The whole thing is worth it for "I thee web."

If you have a suggestion for an outlandish, convoluted or outlandishly convoluted comic book plot resolution, drop me a line at bcronin@comicbookresources.com and I might feature it here in the future!

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