LYING IN THE GUTTERS VOLUME 2 COLUMN 33

Welcome to the most popular and longest running comics column on the internet. In its various forms, Lying In The Gutters has covered rumours and gossip in the comics industry for twelve long glorious and quite scary years. All stories are sourced from well connected sources and checked with respective publisher representatives before publication. The veracity of each story is judged by me and given a spotlight - Green is the most reliable, Amber means there's likely an interest involved or the likelihood isn't set and Red means even I can't quite bring myself to believe it. Lying In The Gutters is for your entertainment. Neither Fair Nor Balanced.

You survived last wek's Rumour Awards???? Well done. New year, same old column. Settle down, settle down.

WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR?

One new DC mini-series spinning out of "Infinite Crisis" is yet to have a title. It will however concern a crime war in Bludhaven.

Title suggestions anyone?

I'm going for "War Zone." Or "Rivers Of Blud." Or "Haven And Hell."

Come on, send yours in. I'll print the best. And DC will be reading...

UPDATE: It has been brought to my attention that Dan Didio may have already talked about this project, silly details such as Jimmy Palmiotti, Justin Grey, called "Battle For Bludhaven," being a six issue series, you know, trivial details like that. Well, from my inbox, LITG readers are more imaginative when it comes to titles... "Bludfellas" and "Blud, Where's My Car" being my favourite.

HIGH TIMES

Remember those Degrassi Junior High graphic novels we mentioned a few weeks back, from Simon and Shuster? Turns out Ed Northcott is the artist....

Pretties.

NEW ROMANTICS

All those rumours about DC buying a Marvel property or Marvel buying a DC property. All piffle. Executives at both companies are still holding a grudge the size of New Jersey.

But there is a property owned by Hasbro that's been doing the rounds, that Marvel developed - namely "Rom."

Yes, stop your screaming, you ROMantics out there.

Recently Marvel published "Spaceknights," a series that skirted round a new Rom comic without actually naming the fellow on the cover. But a few companies are interested (though DC haven't been named).

But ROMantics have waited so long, that it had better be dynamite!

NEXT!

Oh my giddy diddy aunt.

"NextWave", the new superfiction series from Warren Ellis and Stuart

Immonen... has a theme song.

Here is the link.

And here are the lyrics.

NEXT WAVE

It's like Shakespeare

But with lots more punching

It's like Goethe

But with lots more crushing

Like Titanic

But the boat's still floating

No it's not!

The motherfucking boat is exploding!

NEXTWAVE!

NEXTWAVE!

Dirk Anger

Is one crazy mamma-jamma

He leads HATE

Sitting around in his pretty pink pajamas

HATE was formed

By the Beyond Coporation

Purposely

To bring about catastrophic devastation!

NEXTWAVE!

NEXTWAVE!

Do you want a haircut?

The Beyond Corporation's gonna help you out

Do you need a toothbrush?

The Beyond Corporation's got an extra one

Do you have a step-son?

The Beyond Corporation's gonna rub him out

Do you see a monster?

Or a pirate?

Electric emu?

A giant sky-rat?

A midget Hitler?!

Or Pontius Pilate!

Don't call your mom or your doctor,

Just pick up the phone and call!

NEXTWAVE! Wooawoaah

NEXTWAVE!

Give us a NextWave rollcall!

MONICA!

Is gonna microwave your (whistle)

TABBY!

Is gonna steal all your stuff!

AARON!

Is going to organize your sock drawer!

ELSA!

Is gonna speak with an accent!

THE CAPTAIN!

His name is The Captain!

NEXTWAVE!

NEXTWAVE!

NEXTWAVE! Somebody please, please call...

NEXTWAVE!

For God's sake, somebody call NextWave...

Marvel. Warren's plaything. Next, he's going to ask Marvel to do a

press release in the nude.

WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN

Thanks to Platinum Studios for the plots to unpublished Alan Moore issues of Supreme and Youngblood...

"Supreme: The Return #7"

As well as a timeline of the Alan Moore Awesome Universe.

When will someone get round to finishing this stuff up, hmm? There are finished, undrawn Alan Moore comics out there...

LE SMOKE GRAND

One of my favourite books last year was "Smoke" from IDW. Written by occasional drinking partner Alex De Campi and drawn by ex-Marvel slave Igor Kordey, it was a Brian Talboty romp through a near future London, with lots of fun gags and a serious secret agent thriller plot. IDW recently solicited an ornate hardcover collection, but I understand it has been dropped off the schedule.

However, I understand the hardcover will be come out from a French publisher this year, who is also keen to continue the series. Damn it, time to break out that old French schoolbook again.

Je m'appelle Richard...

NOT THE END OF THE CENTURY

My local comic shop, 30th Century Comics in Putney, London has just reopened.

The shop suffered a disaster when the flat above was set on fire. One of the tenants died in the blaze and part of the flat collapsed into the shop. The police have arrested a suspect and the shop was in a state of limbo for some time.

It's now back, refurbished and open. I've always loved 30th Century and one of its managers, Will Morgan is better known as comic writer Howard Stangroom and a mainstay of UK fandom.

If you fancy popping by, please do. The recent oil blaze in Hemel Hempstead is tying up much of the UK insurance industry, so things are a bit backed up for 30th Century. A little extra custom for this shop, beautifully located on the Thames, at the point where the Oxford/Cambridge Boat Race starts, wouldn't go amiss.

WORDS AND NUMBERS

LITG has already covered the "A Disease of Language" volume, compiling Eddie Campbell adaptations of Alan Moore's spoken word CDs, "Birth Caul," "Snakes & Ladders," his Egomania interview with Alan, and sketches for the original volumes, from Knockabout for £12.99/$19.99.

Turns out that Gosh Comics, who have ties to Knockabout, are selling a signed and numbered edition. Exclusively. 250 copies of the bastard, with a copy of the "Snakes & Ladders" CD to boot. Can you think of another way to get an Alan Moore signature these days?

Buy a copy, stick it on eBay. Gosh can be contacted here.

You know, I was at the "Birth Caul" recording. Which makes me better than you.

SWIPE FILE ONE

Ever read "Cancelled Comics Cavalcade," the volume of comics made and bound internally at DC of completed books that were cancelled all at once during the DC Implosion of 1978, of which photocopies are generally made available at comic conventions?

Geoff Johns must have. How else to explain the eery similarity between the "Infinite Crisis" battle as the Freedom Fighters is attacked by Society Of Super Villains with the story in "Cancelled Comics Cavalcade" #2 in which exactly the same thing happens?

Could it be the "Infinite Crisis" has extended even further than previously thought?

SWIPE FILE TWO

"Hollywood Noir" #1 from Narwain Publishing

From the "Hollywood Noir" press release:

"In the tradition of Brian De Palma thrillers like 'Body Double' and 'Blowout' comes Narwain's latest title."

Let's see a poster for Brian De Palmas' "Body Double" starring Melanie Griffith.

No kidding.

SWIPE FILE THREE

"GI Joe vs Transformers"

"Marvels"

LAWYERS GO HOME

Go to www.superverse.com. Click on Retailers. Then click on the helmet/super villain base image on the right. Enjoy a very naughty superhero... um... parody. Yes, that's right, a parody. Not actionable by anyone at Time Warner whatsoever. Or Comedy Central. Honest.

RIP OPEN THAT SHIRT

Some things should not be allowed. Some things should be banned. Some things are not meant to be.

Like shaving your chest hair into a super hero icon.

My eyes.

TITANIC DAYS

Rob Liefeld has announced that the first issue of his and Gail Simone's "Teen Titans" was the best selling of the year.

Although the second issue wasn't quite as much. And late.

There have been rumours that the boost in sales was due to Rob, or an associate buying thousands of copies of the comic, slapping a variant cover on the front, and selling it for ten bucks or more at conventions.

That's not true. It was only hundreds. And the variant covers were also sold separately.

Still, it's a victory for Rob Liefeld and proof of his pulling power in the modern comics marketplace, especially without the marketing he wishes for.

SPEAK CLEARLY

RIOT comic shop retailer blog says "Very interesting. Got RIOT's invoice for next week's books, and lo and behold, every single Speakeasy title that I ordered over the past two months has been cancelled."

Heidi MacDonald of The Beat interprets this as "orders for the next two months of Speakeasy titles

have been cancelled"

Actually it's November and December books that haven't shipped that

have been cancelled. And only some of them. Some will ship order

adjustable, some will ship as they are, others will be resolicited,

others have left.

A number will ship, but retailers can adjust their numbers, due to

lateness. Some trades will be resolicited. And a few have been

cancelled completely due to lateness, the book leaving Speakeasy, or

for low orders

Chris Stone emailed Speakeasy creators as a result of The Beat's

article saying "Hey guys, I'm sure most if not all of you have seen