10 Video Games Based On Comics I'd Like To See

I'm going to get some theoretical nerd chocolate in your hypothetical dork peanut butter here. I'm going to try and think outside the box a little, so it's not just "a Wolverine game where he can stab Hitler!"*

1. Jonah HexWhy I Want To Play It- Because all of the western games in the last few years (including the weird, alternative history Damnation) have been shooters, so really, just get the team behind the Gun, Red Dead Revolver, or Call of Juarez games on it, put in one of those morality systems that games are so crazy about these days (so you can choose between being evil and indifferent, I guess?), and ship that sucker. It could be a blast.

Why It Could Get Made- See above. Also, there's a movie coming out at some point. With few execptions (including this year's Wolverine: Origins game), most movie based video games suck, though.

2. The Walking DeadWhy I Want To Play It- Nerds of all stripes love the zombie apocalypse. A game based on Kirkman's epic could be different than your average zombie fair. Well, really, I'd be happy with a reskinned Fallout 3 where you play a survivor who wanders the world. You could choose to make alliances or be a lone wolf and throw whoever you meet to the shambling hordes so you can loot their corpses (or at least buy yourself time). Also, eating corpses would be even weirder in a world of zombies.

Why It Could Happen- Nerds of all stripes love the zombie apocalypse. Also, Kirkman might get more big name creators to quit work for hire and go creator owned full time if he makes some big video game licensing cash.

3. Lobster JohnsonWhy I Want To Play It- Lobster Johnson rules, that's why. It would be fun to kill Nazis as him throughout time. Make it like the first Bloodrayne game, all pulp and violence, but without a hot vampire chick.

Why It Could Happen- I'm not seeing the possibilities of that, actually, due to the lack of a hot vampire chick. Still, they could at least stick him in the next Hellboy game as a playable character. I could live with that.

4. Green Lantern CorpsWhy I Want To Play It- I could give a rat's ass (but no more!) about Hal Jordan, but I've always liked the concept of the Corps. You could make it similar to Mass Effect, where you build your character from the ground up, deal with being a human among aliens who consider you a retard at best, and choose whether to treat people like a proper hero (Hal or Kyle) or a total a-hole (Guy Gardner). Also, maybe you could choose to play as aliens? Like Mogo or Killowog or that bird guy who's always in the group shots? That would be rad.

Why It Could Happen- Bioware did Star Wars and Sonic games. Surely DC could get something cooking with them. Or, someone could rip off Mass Effect for a GL Corps game.

5. GambitWhy I Want To Play It- I know, I know. Shut up. I think Gambit could be a fun video game character (or fun character period) if you divorced him from the X-Men (especially Rogue), made him talk like an actual person, and basically portrayed him as a Cajun mutant version of Thomas Crown or Danny Ocean; a debonair, dashing thief. Make the game equal parts Splinter Cell, Assassain's Creed, and Sly Cooper, and it could be a blast. I'm cereal!

Why It Could Happen- People still like Gambit, right? You might have to throw a dating mini game with Rogue, Belladonna, and whatever other women he gave mutant VD to when I stopped paying attention to get their approval, though. Not sure it would be worth it.

6. Jack Kirby's Fourth World Saga/Orion, Barda, and Mr. Miracle Beat Everyone On Apokolips DownWhy I want To Play It- I just finished Walt Simonson's run on Orion. That, coupled with the original Kirby material, is all the Fourth World I ever want to read. But I want to see more done with the characters. And Orion is such a bad ass he'd make Kratos look like a pussy if done right. Scott Free also strikes me as a potentially great video game character. Barda, too. Throw in a level where you play as Darkseid, and I can't even finish this sentence it's so awesome! I have to think of the Forever People just to calm myself down. Their lameness saves the day again! (Well, Serifan's okay. And their car. I'd read a comic about their car.)

Why It Could Happen- Mark Evanier and I might start a video game company that would give all its profits to Jack's estate one day? I dunno, it seems unlikely. I just want to play a Fourth World game.

7. Jimmy Olsen Why I Want To Play It- I could see an adventure game starring Superman's Pal working. And since he has a million random super powers, you could mix up his intrepid attempts at reporting/not needing Superman's help with actual super hero sequences. Before Superman inevitably comes to save you/reveals why he played a cruel prank on you. Throw in a multiplayer mode where you can snipe Lucy Lane and gratuitous Legion cameos and I'm just pandering to Chris Sims.

Why It Could Happen- The entertainment industry seems to pander to Sims a lot, too.

8. A Wrestling Game Based On Jaime Hernandez's Female Wrestler CharactersWhy I Want To Play It- I love female wrestlers. I love wrestling video games. I love Jaime Hernandez. Simple math, folks. Give it the No Mercy 64 engine and a robust create a wrestler and I'd never play anything else again.

Why It Could Happen- There are two Rumble Roses games. The universe must be balanced somehow.

9. Black HoleWhy I Want To Play It- I loved Charles Burns's magnum opus. Seems like good survival horror or adventure game material. And if the people who did Mad World got to work on it, they'd probably match the comics wonderful visual style.

Why It Could Happen- The people who created Silent Hill don't seem to be up to much lately. Let them have fun with the metaphors and disturbing visuals in Burns's book. Them and the Mad World guys. And also Cliffy B, Hideo Kojima, Miyamoto, and David Jaffe. Those are all of the video game developers I know. Surely that committee could do a game about a comic about STDs making you a freak justice.

10. Marvel Universe Racing TitleWhy I Want To See It- U.S. 1! The Highway Man! Ghost Rider! Spider-Man in the Spider-Mobile! Wolverine on a motorcycle! Nick Fury in a flying car! The Runaways in the Leap Frog! Drunk Hercules in a stolen Quinjet (or chariot) with Amadeus Cho as his co-pilot! Ben Grimm in the Fantasticar! Johnny Storm in an awesome actual car! She Hulk on a moped as the token girl! I'm envisioning the Marvel Universe version of Cannonball Run in video game form, basically. And I just had a nerdgasm typing it.

Why It Could Happen- Marvel loves money. I can see something like this game, but done horribly, created for the Wii. It would sell 2.9 billion copies. It's a vivid image. And now I'm crying.

Honorable Mentions:

Hawkman- So I could make him fly in to powerlines a bunch of times. Because I don't care for Hawkman, you see.

Jimmy Corrigan- It would be a little like Metal Gear Solid, but instead of sitting through ginormous conversations with military handlers and terrorists or whatever between gameplay segments, you'd talk to horribly depressing, broken people. The gameplay would be generic platforming. But the World's Fair level would be awesome and blow the rest of the game away.

Hank Pym- It would start out kind of generic, but inexplicably stick around for a while. Then you'd create your own last boss. Then you'd slap Jan and spend 20-30 game hours moping about that before Captain America castrates you, because Mark Millar will be providing the script for that part. And then I guess you'd change costumes 20 times in the DLC, but still are pretty lame. I don't care for Hank Pym, either.

Ghost World- As a first person shooter, but instead of using guns, you use biting teenage girl wit to make people's heads explode. And then you get all sentimental at the end.

U.S. Agent- Make a Captain America game. Replace him with a jerk halfway through. Then have the real Cap come back at the end.

Sleeper- Like Splinter Cell: Double Agent, except nothing you do ever blows your cover because the end boss already knows what you're up to. And also Grifter shows up to do the cool action stuff. You just mostly have bitter conversations with Lynch and speak cryptically to Tao. The Miss Misery sex mini game will be so obscene that the game will need a new rating; NO-E (No One Should Ever Play This). Wal Mart will be the only store not to carry it. Well, them and Australia.

A good Batman game that's sort of like the Animated Series crossed with Morrison and Slott's Arkham Asylum comics- Oh, wait, they seem to be making that. That's all I have, then.

*Not that I wouldn't buy 12 copies of that.

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